In keeping with my tradition of being out of step with the large majority of Yuri fandom, I would like to take some time today and review the final volume of this mostly-unknown-to- today’s-generation-of-Yuri-fans anime.

Battle Athletes Victory Volume 8 is arguably the worst final volume of an anime I have ever watched. ^_^ It resurrects every irritating characteristic of the earlier volumes, manages to insert some entirely new, even *more* irritating concepts and then play it all for laughs, so if we get irritated, it’s obviously our lack of a sense of humor that’s the problem, not the fact that the story is a truckload of horseshit.

At the end of Volume 7, you may remember, Akari has won the title of Cosmos Beauty AND beaten her mother’s record, as unlikely as that seems. And, you may also remember, that the aliens chose that very moment to attack.

In Volume 8, we learn that the whole Cosmos Beauty thing was a cunning plan by schoolmaster Grant Oldman, in order to train a cadre of unbeatable female athletes to do one thing – take on the aliens! Oh my god, how clever he is! Not to mention nearly immortal, but they sort of gloss over that.

In any case, Kris is recalled (with her cow), Anna shows up to cook for the team, Ichino is added to the roster along with Akari, Jessie, Tanya, Mylandah and Lahrri, and we face off with the aliens, with “Mister Miracle” as our coach.

Of course, the aliens cheat.

And of course, we manage to somehow hang on despite the obvious bias. And, of course, it comes down to the final race, which is, of course, a dash and, of course, we’re relying on Akari and Kris. And, of course, the aliens pull out the ace up their sleeve. Because they are clever too, they have brought Tomoe Midori BACK FROM THE DEAD to race against her only daughter. Even better, they bring her back at the age she won the Cosmos Beauty title, so she’s actually a year younger than Akari. Bet you saw that coming, huh?

Akari has the usual crisis of identity, and Kris gets her to gambare again and in a complete shocker, she saves the Earth and wins.

The story doesn’t end there, however. The epilogue follows mostly everyone as they set out on their post-alien invasion lives. In most cases they stick with athletics, but we’re treated to a funny final scene with bratty Tomoe teasing Akari, and the absolutely shudder-making idea that her parents are together again and now expecting a baby.

And we all live *happily* ever after.

It just occurred to me that you might think, reading this, that I didn’t enjoy this volume. That isn’t true. I did enjoy it. But not for any of the above. ^_^

I spent most of the volume watching the only two reasonably sane characters left, Mylandah and Lahrri. They spend the entire volume in a world of their own. No one is gonna tell me that they aren’t totally together. And they’re damn cute together, too.

For Yuri fans who like their Yuri a little less subtle, Kris immediately pins Ichino to the wall about her total gayness for Akari. Kris insists that Akari is her’s, but Ichino won’t even admit she’s interested, although she’s immediately jealous. So the two of them engage in a bizarro rivalry throughout.

My one real question about this volume is – who named it “Volume 8: The Human Race”? Because I think that person deserves a blow to the head.

Ratings:

Art – 6
Story – seriously, it’s so over the top with dumb, it’s practically genius – 7
Characters – 6
Yuri – 4
Service – 5

Overall – 7

In the end, the end of the anime was nothing as satisfying as the manga, where Kris and Akari kiss in front of the known universe and Mylandah and Lahrri retire to a tropical love nest. But it was what it was. If Kris’ cow and Grant Oldman’s panty fetish made you laugh in the first seven volumes, you’ll probably think volume 8 was just fine. ^_^