Presented for your derision, the worst of the Yuri Hime cell phone manga and my first entry to the Yuri Hall of Shame, Japanese edition, Johnouchi Nene’s Otome Senshi Lovely 5!.
You may recognize Johnouchi Nene’s name from the Apple Day Dream series in Yuri Hime and Yuri Hime S, a series which I have never reviewed, or indeed, even purchased as a collected volume on account of the fact that I think it’s intolerably dull. I fought with myself over purchasing this title, and clearly the wrong side won that battle.
The basic plot of the story isn’t too hideous – cute Sweet Lolita wants to avoid wearing the boring school uniform (ironically, the *exact* same “plot” as the Tiara Bunko Light Novel I’m reading right now) and decides to create a sentai group to fight for cute things.
It’s not the plot that’s the problem – it’s everything else.
As you may know, I adore Fujieda Miyabi for his costume design skills as much as his characters. He has a real way with fashion, subtly highlighting a character’s feminity or masculinity without giant flashing arrows pointing to their secondary sexual characterisics. In just about every possible way Johnounchi Nene is the exact opposite. Her designs are ill-conceived; tortured, ugly even on their intended victims and not only have giant flashing arrows pointing at crotches and chests, but force us to look in those directions again and again, as if we might somehow not notice.
Her characters mix irresponsible, unrealistic BDSM – admittedly, the kind that’s most fun to read, but this falls short in that as well – with illegal relationships and uncomfortable situations, and then pounds us with gigantic breasts on top of all that, because there wasn’t *enough* fetishtry to keep our attention.
And to top it all off, the bad guy is a woman running around the school naked, trying to strip the Senshi of their frills to…are you sitting?…not drinking anything?…. SAVE THE PLANET. The moral of the story is that while Goth-Loli might not be ecologically sound, running around the school naked means a loser is you. Well, duh.
The only relationship in the entire series I didn’t want to see end in flames was the teacher and the pop singer who physically and emotionally abuses her. That one was okay.
In the end, the one big question was – which color would Momoka be? (Since, of course, each member of a sentai group has to be a color.) Given her name was Momoka, I could be forgiven for yawning and guessing she’s be in pink, but hah on me, because she’s Otome Senshi Lovely Rose.
Art – 4
Story – 2
Characters – 3
Yuri – 8
Service – 230,007
Overall – 3
I think I sprained my eyes rolling them, I really do.
This book was so good, that I’m giving it away. Here’s how to enter:
In the comments field, tell me what color and Loli style you would be as a Goth-Loli Senshi. Check back on the next Saturday YNN Report (not tomorrow, the one after that) for the winner, who can email me to get this book out of my house get their prize! You must be 18 to enter.