Yuri Manga: Yuri Hime Wildrose, Volume 5 (百合姫 Wildrose)

February 28th, 2010

Girl A – /meets/is in love with/argues with/falls in love with/is going out with/drugs/ – Girl B.

They have sex.

The End.

That’s it. I’m totally done with this series. I don’t get why anyone likes this crap, it’s irredeemably dull and utterly unsexy.

I think I’ve been more than patient with this series, waiting for it to develop some character, some depth, some strength of conviction, and all it’s done is move further and further backwards into the most banal of “Story A” territory.

Yuri Hime Wildrose, Volume 5 (百合姫 Wildrose) is an entire collection of “Plot, What Plot?” stories that are well beyond uninspired, a veritable fanfiction.net of a Yuri anthology.

I have five volumes (1-5) of Yuri Hime Wildrose here and I’d like to get rid of them, because they stink. In the comments field, write me a Story A romance in two sentences, in Mad LibsTM form:

Girl A (verb) Girl B. They (verb). The End

Don’t be gross, vulgar or pornographic. I won’t approve comments like that. Be creative and funny (unlike the stories in this collection) and you win all 5 books.

Ratings:

UGH

“Body and Heart entwined Bathtime” reads the obi copy.

UGH

Headslap Update: If you plan on posting as “Anonymous” could you sign off with a nickname or initials or *something* so I can tell you that you won and not some other Anonymous? Duh…!

Second Headslap Update: I should probably point out the obvious and say that you need to be over 18 to be part of this. If you are under 18 and entered, wtf were you thinking?

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51 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    Girl A initiates an act of self congress to put into motion the greeting of Girl B. They finally greet, but Girl B has to move away/likes someone else/is straight/dies/likes Girl A back but is stuck in limbo/is trapped in a harem version anime and is expected to like the one guy who is an arrogant idiot/graduates school.

    (If I’ve learned anything from my government class so far, it’s that congress takes forever to act :)

  2. Anonymous says:

    I don’t want any copies of stinky books either, but I like a challenge.

    Woman A (is already out with the loving support of her family and lives in her apartment Hillbrow, Johannesburg and then meets her new neighbor) Woman B. They (get to know each other gradually and slowly fall in love instead of rushing to move in together like a stereotype and *then* get married instead of rushing to City Hall just because same-sex couples can do that in South Africa). The End

  3. The Denominator says:

    Girl A buys a drink for Girl B. They move in together.

  4. Scareknee says:

    Girl A throws a snowball at Girl B. They have a snowball fight.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Girl A writes a love story about herself and Girl B, who sits across from her every day on the train, but one day, dozes off and drops her notebook on the floor, which is later found by Girl B. They eventually meet each other properly, when Girl B confesses to writing about Girl A as well.

    *From: a quiet Anon*

  6. Senbei says:

    Girl A has bunny ears. Girl B has a fox tail. They sell doujinshi.

  7. Chastel says:

    Girl A teaches the art of stealing useless crap (restaurant forks, hotelroom towels) to Girl B. They test Girl A’s new skills by stealing a 3,5 m tall plush bunny together. The End

    – Chastel

  8. Girl A is made of matter. Girl B is made of antimatter. They hug, unwisely.

  9. C. Banana says:

    Girl A reads a Yuri Hime Wildrose story with Girl B. They decide that reading about sex is much better than having it so together they buy the rest of the Yuri Hime Wildrose anthologies.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Girl A is Girl B. Narcissistic moaning ensues.

    From: Girl B

  11. Emma says:

    Aoi Hana: Girl A loves girl B. They prevaricate. The end.

    Utena: Girl A stabs Girl B. They luge. The end.

    Noir: Girl A forgets Girl B. They flashback! Girl A forgets Girl B. They flashback! Girl A forgets Girl B. They flashback! Girl A forgets Girl B. They flashback! The end.

    KnM: Girl A loROBOTSves Girl B. They kiROBOTSss. The end. (ROBOTS)

    yamibo: Girl A pursues girl B. They create a new Oedepal Complex. The end. (Fans: Wait, WHAT?!) ((Somehow this actually becomes a trend.))

  12. Ayana Mudou says:

    Girl A is a vampire. Girl B has hemophilia. They start dating, hilarity ensues.

  13. JHB says:

    Girl A shakes Girl B. They bake. The End

    If you waggle your eyebrows properly, that covers just about anything.

  14. BruceMcF says:

    Girl A sees Girl B in a crowd. They meet and make mad, wild, passionate, psychedelic, intense, uninhibited macrame bookmarks. The End.

  15. Anonymous A says:

    Can we enter more than once? *was the first Anonymous*

    And sure the plot might not be up to par, but.. I like art just for being art ^^’

  16. b says:

    Girl A spends whole of year longing for “Girl” C, at the encouragement of Girl B (whom secretly loves Girl A). After the expense of standard fan service comedy; Girls A and B discover that “Girl” C is really effeminate Boy A … shock ensues. Girl B tends to Girl A’s feelings by physical therapy? The End

  17. tc says:

    Girl A slips on ice and pulls Girl B down with her. They cannot fight their painful yet beautifully pure attraction to one another and kiss as Apolo Ohho skates past them both. The End.

  18. akaime no usagi says:

    girl A + girl B = the end

  19. Krypfto says:

    Girl A replaces the arm that Girl B lost in a traffic accident with a laser cannon. They fight crime.

  20. Girl A is Girl B half the day and Girl B is Girl A the other half. They are in love, but never meet – and never will – , only talk with each other through letters and e-mails.

  21. Laurel says:

    Girl A, a cheerful, energetic hip-hop dancer moonlighting as a welder, is commissioned to create a giant paperclip sculpture by a the mysterious and reserved Girl B. They gaze into each other’s eyes upon the item’s delivery, startled by their unprecedented feelings, but the giant paperclip wobbles and starts to fall towards the oblivious Girl A – gasping, Girl B leaps forward and pushes Girl A out of the way, finding herself trapped, but fortunately, Girl A is able to use her hip-hop moves to rescue Girl B from the lightweight aluminum menace…years later, the two are seen as old women holding hands, gazing at the field of variegated paperclips they spent a lifetime creating together.

  22. moritheil says:

    Do the winners truly win? :P

    Girl A throws Girl B into Girl C. Girls D, E, and F are plotting a bank robbery. Girl X is an anarchist devoted to smashing the state. For a variety of hilarious and improbable reasons ranging from love to political advantage to desire to have her apartment unit, every girl decides to seduce girl A.

  23. Anonymous says:

    Girl A is a twinkle-eyed big-haired puddle of moe who everyone instantly falls in love with for her good-hearted obliviousness and endearing habit of referring to herself as ‘Girl A-chan, desu ^O^’.
    Girl B is in fact not a girl, but rather a large sledgehammer wielded by an irate Yuri blogger. Hilarity/mists of entrails ensue.

    Unfunny brought to you by…. Bluesky. :D

  24. Anonymous says:

    Girl A ‘Deep Sea Submerges’ Girl B. Then they passionately ‘World Shaking’.

    They’re cousins, the end.

    Bluesky again. :D

  25. socchan says:

    Girl A likes stories about unrequited love; Girl B loves Girl A, supposedly unrequitedly. Girl A discovers that she also loves Girl B, but decides not to get together because that would be less interesting/sell fewer books. The End (but not until after a good thirty volumes, four drama CDs, a video game, a novelization, and an anime version; it’s left ambiguous whether they actually get together at the end).

  26. Mara says:

    Girl A one Girl B nil.

    Girl A goes on to play Girl G in the finals.

  27. Strange Dog says:

    Girl A wakes up in Girl B’s bed and muffles her screams as she realizes that she is in her unrequited lovers bed, naked. Girl A is a shape shifting dog that wandered into Girl B’s bedroom and fell asleep there, later reverting back into her human form. Girl A realizes that they both have school in the morning and stumbles out of the bed. She steals Girl B’s panties and an over sized T-shirt and somehow makes it to school on time. After a long semester of subtext and awkward mornings of shape shifting, Girl A finally fesses up to Girl B. Girl B accepts Girl A’s love and now takes Girl B for morning walks, belly rubs, and wild nights of love making.
    The END.

    -I kind of wanted the book and did this for the hell of it.

  28. Anonymous says:

    “Girl A, a cheerful, energetic hip-hop dancer moonlighting as a welder”

    Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoS9wD312n4

    “…years later, the two are seen as old women holding hands, gazing at the field of variegated paperclips they spent a lifetime creating together.”

    Aww. :)

  29. Serge says:

    Girl A retrogrades Girl B. They eat delicious poutine. The End.

  30. Anonymous A says:

    Girl A delivers mail for a living, and one snowy day, as she meets more snowmen than people, she slips on the iced side walk and runs into Girl B. But this was no dues ex machina occurrence, for Girl B had spoken with the mail lady on multiple occasions and felt they had come to at least a friendship that deserved the invitation for hot cocoa, and wishfully the promise of many possible, closer, futures.

    ((2nd entry; I can’t do humor, so ends up being just another two-sentence tale. Sorry >.<))

  31. SD says:

    Girl A is a pilot. Girl B meets her on a flight and becomes a flight attendant to stalk her/be with her.

  32. Anonymous says:

    Girl A is a reasonably compentent adult woman and fairly comfortable in her sexuality. Girl B is similar. They overcome various uncontrived obstacles and finally end up in a fulfilling and functional relationship.

    And then you wake up.

    :3

  33. I am having so much fun with all these great stories, that I’ve decided to award at least a 2nd place, and maybe a 3rd, depending on how much you make me laugh.

    I’ve got a bunch of *stuff* in the house and will gladly send out *stuff* to you, and some Yuri manga along with it.

    This contest will run until Friday. I’ll announce the winners on the Saturday News Report.

    Keep ’em coming!

  34. darksyx says:

    I don’t really want dreadful magazines but this is so much fun XD.

    Girl A is a crazy doctor, she creates Girl B with different corpses’ parts and her dead sister’s brain. Girl B finally dies again after regain her lost memories as a living person, saving the crazy doctor for being run over by a train and confessing her undying love. The end.

  35. Shei says:

    Girl A is a researcher. Girl B has super powers.
    Combining the research of Girl A and the super powers of Girl B they stop global warming,
    when they are not discussing what drapes the should buy, that is.

  36. The Lii says:

    Girl A is an alien invasion scout who abducts Girl B. They get stranded on a desert planet and have to put up with each-other and the weird habits of the other until help arrives.

  37. RanAnxiang says:

    Girl A is a talented, if slightly neurotic psychologist who meets Girl B, a shrewd, but unlucky journalist when Girl B saves Girl A from a small, unspeakable horror stalking the streets of their hometown late one night. They struggle to keep their sanity, health, and deep, terror induced attachment to each other intact as they attempt to prevent the summoning of a great alien unknown by insane cultists.

  38. tc says:

    Girl A, who is obsessed with otaku, dresses up as a giant taco greeting potential customers in front of a TuTaco taqueria. Girl B is a taco-obsessed otaku. Their worlds collide as a YurTaku, the largest Yuri manga/anime convention, opens up next door to TuTaco. Drawn together by fate and the munchies, they share their doujinshi and guacamole. The End.

  39. Anonymous says:

    Girl A is a ditzy moeblob. Girl B is her more level-headed and thus angstier identical twin. They have a normal sibling relatioship devoid of sexual tension and roughly 20% of the Yuri genre disappears.

    :3

  40. Anonymous says:

    Girl A builds Girl B. They fight crime. The End

    -M.R. Frankenstein.

  41. Anonymous says:

    Oh dear someone already did “they fight crime” Too obvious perhaps. :(

  42. solarsun says:

    Girl A hates stereotypical storylines while girl B watches everything she can get her hands on. They have a massive jedi battle to determine who will RULE THE WORLD.

    The end

  43. Anonymous says:

    Girl A is a vicar at the church that Girl B goes to. They fall in love but cannot act on it for societal reasons. Girl B attempts to get out her frustration by trying to kill Batman.

    –J.L.W.

  44. Anonymous says:

    Girl A is a Mossad agent. Girl B is an Intifadist. They go rogue and sell nuclear secrets to Armenia. The end.

  45. yfg1984 says:

    Girl A is a puritan gothic lolita yakuza who loves guns, whose bestfriend is an AK47 named Puchi. Girl B is a erotica writer who loves long walks in the beach, online contests and collects shrinked human heads. Girl B likes Girl A who is tsundere, then yandere, then tsundere and cooldere. Girl B tries to make the monthly deadline while coping with the bizarre and defying-the-laws-of-physics ocurrences. Then they travel back in time and get stuck in a bad version of Romance of the Three Kingdoms. The End

  46. JHB says:

    Girl A koi Girl B. They carp at each other, then go fishing. oy!
    The end.

  47. Ris says:

    Girl A confesses her love to Girl B. They conspire to develop new ways to market the Yuri Hime brand to moefan otaku.

  48. Pam says:

    Girl A is an idol with a fan base of (virgin) otakus. She also does acting.
    Girl B is a porn star with a fan base of (virgin) otakus. She also does acting.

    They meet on the set of some interesting though forgetable TV drama, find many things in common – more than friends less than lovers, and share a takosan wiener bento hanami by a forest of blooming cherry trees.

    Then, they go back to their respective trade with the powerful memory of sharing the last wiener and the conviction that things will never be the same again.

  49. Anonymous says:

    I am totally devoid of imagination, so I cant think of anything better than already posted, but the one with the blooming cherry trees got me.

  50. moo says:

    o_o I think it’s too late… but just in case.

    Girl A stays up all night downloading yaoi while thinking of Girl B, who is stuck on the other coast. They end up not doing anything since Girl B decides to go out with someone else while Girl A is still depressed over the matter.

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