UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie OVA Collection, Season 3 (English)

January 26th, 2011

UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie: Seasons 3 & 4 (The OVA Collection)I‘ve been pretty spotty reviewing here this week. I bet you thought that when I came back it would be for something full of awesome and love, didn’t you? But, no, instead I return to you with a review of full of Kaishaku. Sorry.

I bought myself the UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie OVA Collection for reasons that I’m sure made sense at the time, but which I can no longer recall. Having purchased it, I supposed I’d better watch it. Well, I watched Season 3.

I’ve stopped caring that Kaishaku’s work is really bad, honestly. I’m resigned to the fetish du jour construction of their stories.  There were even moments where I liked an angle, a scene, a character.

But look, let me say this plainly and get it out of the way, because I find the thought burdensome and want to shed it. When Kazuto kisses Val-chan and she turns into Valkyrie, every time I think – this is what pedophiles see in their heads. That this innocent child is somehow an actual willing, equal partner in this relationship. And this thought really makes it hard for me to ever like this series – even though Kazuto’s relationship with Val-chan is, in and of itself, innocent. Kazuto is clearly in love with Valkyrie, and treats Val-chan as a daughter and that is that. Kazuto’s worst behavior with Val-chan is that he spoils her a little.

But less and less is the story about Kazuto and Valkyrie at all. In Season 3, it’s almost an aside to the main plot of whatever episode. Whether it’s a cat maid superhero or one of Valhalla’s 4 million princesses showing up for a visit (and crashing into a building to do so. When Rika commented on the fact, I was amazed they bothered to address the issue at all) Valkyrie and Kazuto’s impending, oft-delayed wedding seems tagged on as an afterthought.

Among the many Princesses who show up for an extended visit is Pharm, who crashes into the local school and inexplicably becomes a teacher. Pharm is representative and enthusiast of the girl-wearing-glasses fetish. This episode is laden with Yuri service that doesn’t quite go anywhere, but it was kind of weird and silly. We learn at the end of the episode that Pharm has a crush on Valkyrie. That too is kind of weird and silly. Most of this series is kind of weird and silly. And every once in a while, it almost becomes likable.


Art – Nothing like Kaishaku’s – 7
Story – There is very little story – 5
Characters – Variable, averaging out at 6
Yuri – 4 for Pharm
Service – there are not enough numerals, nor spaces to hold them

Overall – 5

So if you like Kaishaku generally, or think you might if they stopped beating up their women all the time, Season 3 of Valkyrie is not intolerable.

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6 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    With my Yuri goggles on and turned up to 11, I enjoyed the bickering couple of Hydra and Akina in this truly crappy series.

  2. Cryssoberyl says:

    Somehow, I managed to put myself through watching ALL the UFO Valkyrie franchise. The overriding impression I was left with was disgust at the way in which Valkyrie is infantilized literally the way so many women in fiction are figuratively.

    Her true form is that of a powerful, intelligent and dignified adult woman, but she spends almost all her time as a cutesy child who is essentially a completely different being from her. You say Kazuto is in love with Valkyrie, but how can he be in love with someone who doesn’t even exist most of the time? Nobody, including him, seems to find this state of affairs objectionable or unhealthy.

    So the real woman is sealed away to make way for this nonthreatening moeblob, and she can only regain her real self briefly with male help. Even then, it’s mostly to supply the fanservice portions of the show.

    The worst part is, Season 1 even pretends to resolve this issue at the end, with Valkyrie realizing she needs to grow up, take responsibility for herself and stop running away from adulthood…but then, oops! Comic relapse! It was all for nothing. Cue three more seasons of the same thing.

    In short, it tastes suspiciously of the idea that it would really be better if women were children all the time – except briefly, when they’re needed to be sexy.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I was wondering what a seinen harem show has to do with Yuri?
    To call this show mindless fluff is being charitable. I was also wondering why Cryssoberyl took such umbrage with the show being what it is. A (plot?) involving cat girls,bath houses and aliens residing in said bath houses is about as far out there as I have experienced. The show would seem to have more in common with “The Benny Hill Show” than some magical girl series it seems to be spoofing.
    Okazu had already mentioned that it was one of those “seemed like a good idea at the time” purchases that were all guilty of. Sometimes its OK to shut your brain off and revel in some mindless and silly entertainment. Afterall regular TV is not so dissimilar.

  4. @Anonymous – Perhaps reading my review might clue you in to what the Yuri is. I do mention it. Hint: it’s in the last paragraph.

    Secondly, Cryssoberyl is allowed to take umbrage with whatever she feels like. In this case, I agree with her generally, but not on specifics. We’re allowed to do that here.

    I will disagree with you that this series is no worse than TV. Most TV series aren’t based on a plot of “look, cute pedophlia, how sweet!” and most women on TV wear bras. Just sayin’

    You’re welcome to enjoy Kasihaku in whatever way suits you. Cryssoberyl is likewise welcome to dislike them. I’m welcome to comment on them as I see fit. Isn’t the Internet an amazing and wonderful place?

  5. Anonymous says:

    It is when it is not laden with snarky replies from the author.

    My comments were not to be construed as an advocacy of pedophilia or fan service. It is after all a bad anime/manga. I did not mistake it for Ibsen,Faulkner or Tennessee Williams.

    Sorry for the offence, it definitely will never happen again.

  6. @Anonymous – Nothing I said was meant to be snarky. You are responding to thing things I never said or implied. As I like to remind people – when you read my comments, do imagine me smiling cheerfully. It’s easy to interpret text as snarky or nasty, but if you look at the picture I use as an avatar, you’ll see I’m smiling quite cheerfully.

    My comment that it’s a wonderful Internet was meant to be taking at face value. It is indeed a wonderful Internet.

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