I‘ve been pretty spotty reviewing here this week. I bet you thought that when I came back it would be for something full of awesome and love, didn’t you? But, no, instead I return to you with a review of full of Kaishaku. Sorry.
I bought myself the UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie OVA Collection for reasons that I’m sure made sense at the time, but which I can no longer recall. Having purchased it, I supposed I’d better watch it. Well, I watched Season 3.
I’ve stopped caring that Kaishaku’s work is really bad, honestly. I’m resigned to the fetish du jour construction of their stories. There were even moments where I liked an angle, a scene, a character.
But look, let me say this plainly and get it out of the way, because I find the thought burdensome and want to shed it. When Kazuto kisses Val-chan and she turns into Valkyrie, every time I think – this is what pedophiles see in their heads. That this innocent child is somehow an actual willing, equal partner in this relationship. And this thought really makes it hard for me to ever like this series – even though Kazuto’s relationship with Val-chan is, in and of itself, innocent. Kazuto is clearly in love with Valkyrie, and treats Val-chan as a daughter and that is that. Kazuto’s worst behavior with Val-chan is that he spoils her a little.
But less and less is the story about Kazuto and Valkyrie at all. In Season 3, it’s almost an aside to the main plot of whatever episode. Whether it’s a cat maid superhero or one of Valhalla’s 4 million princesses showing up for a visit (and crashing into a building to do so. When Rika commented on the fact, I was amazed they bothered to address the issue at all) Valkyrie and Kazuto’s impending, oft-delayed wedding seems tagged on as an afterthought.
Among the many Princesses who show up for an extended visit is Pharm, who crashes into the local school and inexplicably becomes a teacher. Pharm is representative and enthusiast of the girl-wearing-glasses fetish. This episode is laden with Yuri service that doesn’t quite go anywhere, but it was kind of weird and silly. We learn at the end of the episode that Pharm has a crush on Valkyrie. That too is kind of weird and silly. Most of this series is kind of weird and silly. And every once in a while, it almost becomes likable.
Art – Nothing like Kaishaku’s – 7
Story – There is very little story – 5
Characters – Variable, averaging out at 6
Yuri – 4 for Pharm
Service – there are not enough numerals, nor spaces to hold them
Overall – 5
So if you like Kaishaku generally, or think you might if they stopped beating up their women all the time, Season 3 of Valkyrie is not intolerable.