Love Me for Who I Am, Volume 1, Guest Review by Xanthippe

July 5th, 2020

Hello and welcome to a special Guest Review here at Okazu! I’d like you to welcome Xanthippe, who will be taking a look at Love Me for Who I Am, Volume 1 by Kata Konayama, from Seven Seas! I’m thrilled to have this review and I hope you will be as well.

Before we begin, I want to quickly note that this title has been polarizing and there have been some inappropriate comments made by fans of this series on other reviews. Therefore, I want to let you know that all comments to this post will be moderated. You are very welcome to state your opinion of this series, to comment on the substance of the review. Comments about the reviewer or any criticism of their person will not be allowed. I know Okazu readers understand this, but if you are new here, please take a look at our community standards before commenting. I welcome your thoughts. Xan, the floor is yours!

I’m Xanthippe, and I make comics about trans stuff. You can find my work at https://comicsbyxan.com/ and https://pandorastale.com/

Historically there haven’t been a lot of manga dealing with trans people, but two that I think about frequently are Stop!! Hibari-kun! from 1981, and F. Compo from 1996. Both are slice-of life comedies featuring a bland-as-biscuits male lead thrust into the mysterious world of trans people, and in both stories said male lead holds himself back from pursuing someone he is obviously attracted to, because they’re trans and he doesn’t know how to deal with that. There’s a superficial “will they or won’t they?” hook, but reading them as a trans person, you quickly get the feeling that they probably won’t.

These series show us trans characters from an outsider’s perspective. They’re surprisingly progressive for their time, though both still have plenty of problems. Trans people are used as a spectacle: the shocking twist, a source of comedy and drama. The mangaka appear to be working from a position of relative ignorance on the topic, and so there’s a sense in which these series end up working in spite of themselves. We get likeable, identifiable trans characters seemingly by accident, because you know deep down that catering to trans members of the audience wasn’t the goal here.

Love Me for Who I Am feels like it belongs to the same stable. It’s a modern manga and consequently feels a lot more progressive and respectful in its portrayal of trans people. The cis male lead is actually comfortable with his attraction to his trans co-star, for one thing, and there’s a lot less mining of transness for humor. But the outsider’s perspective is alive and well, and while we’re no longer being used for jokes, there’s something just a little bit fetishy in how the trans characters are presented. Like Hibari and F. Compo before it, I liked it a lot, but there are some caveats.

The main setting of the series is CafĂ© Question, a maid cafĂ© whose gimmick is that the wait staff are all crossdressing boys. Tetsu, our cis male protagonist and the brother of the café’s owner, notices his lonely classmate Mogumo, who is assigned male at birth but wears the girls’ uniform at school. At his invitation, Mogumo comes to work at the cafĂ©, but a conflict emerges when Mogumo explains that they’re not a crossdressing boy – they can’t be, as they are neither a boy nor a girl.

It’s proposed that the cafĂ© could easily adapt their gimmick just a little bit to make room for the nonbinary Mogumo, but this provokes the ire of one staff members in particular, Mei, who is very invested in the “crossdressing boy” identity and finds Mogumo and their lack of gender perplexing. In what’s absolutely my favorite section of the book, Mei comes to accept that she’s a trans woman, her previous bluster having been a consequence of the deep denial she was in. While the overall story is centered around Tetsu, Mogumo and the beginnings of a relationship between them, Mei’s story is what stands out in this volume, at least for me. Mogumo gets the most focus, but by the end of the volume they’re still a bit of a cipher and it’s hard to get a handle on their personality.

Rounding out the café’s staff we have Suzu, who originally got into crossdressing to impress his boyfriend; Ten, who just enjoys cosplay, and the café’s owner, Satori, who’s a trans woman. She’s the character I most enjoyed: I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to have the wise mentor and most competent character of the bunch be an openly trans woman.

This is all to say that Love Me for Who I Am works best when it’s an ensemble piece about its various characters figuring themselves out. Almost everyone here is some variety of queer, so it’s striking how little these kids know about queer topics. Whether it’s general confusion about Mogumo being nonbinary (Satori has to explain the concept to the rest of the staff), or Mogumo innocently dropping a homophobic slur, it’s clear that they’re only just learning most of this stuff.

On the one hand, this would seem to indicate that the characters have some growing to do. But this is where that outsider’s perspective becomes a problem again. I don’t know the mangaka’s gender or if they’re trans or not, though they state that they didn’t know nonbinary people existed when they started work on the story (which, for a story about a nonbinary person? Yeah, not ideal). Regardless of their gender, this feels like a story from an outsider’s perspective, and so I can never quite let my guard down. Is Tetsu misgendering his sister out of ignorance, or is this an oversight on the part of the creator? I want to believe it’s the former, and if this was a story by someone I knew to be trans I probably would, but instead I’m constantly bracing myself for something to be handled badly.

Which is a shame, because for the most part the book clears these hurdles well. At one point Mogumo wonders if things would be easier on Tetsu if they were a girl, which leads to some experimentation with their gender presentation. This isn’t quite resolved by the volume’s end, though there are moments here and there that indicate Mogumo really wouldn’t be happy just being a girl. All in all, it’s a fairly tactful exploration of an experimental phase that a lot of trans people experience, but when Mogumo first wondered if they should become a girl for Tetsu’s sake, it set off some alarm bells to be sure.

And then there’s the art, which is well done and all, but there are times when the characters are presented in a way that feels objectifying and, to be honest, porny. The actual content of the book gets no more explicit than a single panel of Mogumo with their shirt off, but
 I mean, look at the cover art. Just look at it. The mangaka used to draw femboy porn and it shows. It creates a weird atmosphere because the story is innocent enough, but that art style makes it feel like it could turn into porn at any moment.

It might seem odd for me to dwell so much on the book’s flaws while saying I liked it, but those flaws are frustrating because they drag down a story that’s genuinely nice and sweet with a presentation that sometimes makes you worry that someone might be looking over your shoulder and judging you. I recoiled slightly at the sight of the cover. I cried when Mei tentatively asked her coworkers to refer to her as a girl. I wish I could have one without the other.

Ratings:

Art – 7
Story – 6
Characters – 7
LGBTQ – 9
Service – 7 based almost entirely on art style

Overall – 8

I’m 39 years old – the same age as the Stop!! Hibari-kun! manga. I went through most of my life with very few positive portrayals of trans people to look to, so I’d latch onto anything half-decent. I adored Aoi from You’re Under Arrest, even though she was a minor character at best, and not always treated particularly well when she got her moments in the spotlight. Point is, I’m used to making compromises with my media. I’m used to accepting imperfect handling of trans characters because those perfect stories so rarely exist. Love Me for Who I Am is a book with its heart in the right place, a surprisingly gentle tale of queer kids learning to be themselves, and I’d recommend it, provided you can tolerate the occasionally skeevy art style. I like this book, though I wonder if perhaps I like it more for what it could be than for what it is.

Erica here: I cannot express how excellent a review this is. I’m so very grateful for this, Xan and I hope to have you back again soon!

11 Responses

  1. This was a very excellent review, and I appreciate how you want to extend the benefit of the doubt, while at the same time not knowing if you should or not. Hopefully the answer reveals itself in later volumes.

    I also greatly appreciate the heads up about the caveats you mention. It’s just good to know these things, imho, in case it ever comes up in conversation.

    Thank you for this nuanced review!

  2. Gad Onyeneho says:

    I also want to say very excellent review. It makes me interested in seeing what the series is all about, warts and all.

  3. Super says:

    The trans topic has always been very sensitive for me, especially in the context of such works, but I appreciate how the author seems sincerely trying to be progressive. Especially in the framework of moe, which rarely tries to be serious in portraying social and queer issues.

    Thanks for the review, this was unexpected but interesting material for getting acquainted with new works.

  4. Harriet Miral says:

    Thank you for this really in-depth review. I’ve been putting off getting this one for similar at-a-glance worries, but am reconsidering that now.

    I very much feel that.. this kind of book is needed; for the genre to grow and get more titles exploring the world of gender identity, etc, sometimes you do need the ones that maybe aren’t exactly what you’d hoped for, but get popular enough to start a discussion nonetheless. After all – would the Yuri genre in Japan now be as rich and popular as it is, without titles like Citrus (which I personally hate with a fiery passion) being there to widen the audience, in a way?

  5. Ivan Van Laningham says:

    I, too, am delighted to have read such a thoughtful, nuanced review. I’m looking forward to reading the book, especially now that I’m armed with a few more tools than I had before.
    Also, Xan, you didn’t mention Wandering Son. Do you have thoughts about that series? (Aside from irritation that Fantagraphics only published part of it. Grrr.)

    • Xanthippe says:

      Wandering Son is a good, important title, but not my cup of tea. It is a very authentic-feeling series, to the extent that I found it to be a bit of a struggle to get through.

      • Shimura’s work has a lot of the same outsider problems you spoke about. She’s consistently written and drawn about queer people but by her own admission is cis/het and I feel that the lack of authenticity often shows in her work.

        • Super says:

          Shimura-sensei doesn’t belong to the queer community? She wrote so many good works about lesbian and trans women, that at some point I sincerely began to think that she was trans lesbian woman.

  6. Kyrie says:

    I very much value reading this review. Braver than me to put up a review that acknowledges some caveats. A while back this comic was strongly recommended to me. I did end up buying a copy but unfortunately, I felt well, misled for certain reasons. Happens sometimes. Though it further became very clear that this was a title I would not discuss for reasons out of the ordinary. I can attest the discourse has been alarming for some time, portions of it bent on harming. (I am breaking with my better judgement and even nervous writing a comment now, forgive me.) I think if I had come across a perspective such as this one before, it would have been of greater help to me facing the clamor about the series. But then again, I cannot say this series has not been poisoned for me by happenings around it at this point either. Still, good for those who do like the comic and those who have the opportunity to judge for themselves now with an English edition.

  7. Megan says:

    Personally I loved the first vol. However, I do think it needs to be put into perspective the kind of work this is. It’s more of a moe slice of life set in a cafe about a cast of almost entirely LGBTQ+ characters, rather than, say, something like Our Dreams at Dusk but with a moe art style.

    It may change later (for example, I’ve heard later vols dive more into Mogomo’s identity) but for now it’s more of an ensemble piece examining a range of queer characters and the issues they face from a beginner-friendly perspective, rather than deep diving into one particular queer experience. But taking it on its on level, I found it to be a delightfully affirming, well-drawn and presented (mostly) feel good LGBT+ manga.

    I haven’t read the later vols yet but all the feedback I’ve seen for later on continues to be positive, so I’m very much looking forward to reading more and hopefully it can help to clear up remaining doubts about the series’ direction from vol 1.

  8. st_owly says:

    I guess I should start by saying I *loathe* the cover of this volume. Had it not been for some people on Twitter extolling the virtues of this series I would have dismissed it as loli porn and never given it a second look. I then read the ANN review and thought I should probably give it a try for myself. (I got enough coins on Bookwalker during the recent promo that I didn’t actually have to spend money on it)

    I didn’t hate it. Some bits were definitely too fetishy and objectifying for my liking but then there were other bits I really liked. The cis dude who has a crush on Mogumo is definitely my least favourite character.

    I’ll at least buy volume 2 to see what happens. Still not sure if I can bear owning it in print though. Did I mention how much I hate that cover?

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