I spent some time this weekend watching about half of the *very* old hentai series Cream Lemon (which is one of the possible origins for the use of the word “lemon” to represent explicit sexual content in a story, btw). I can’t say I was disappointed, because my expectations for Yuri hentai are very low. Some of it almost approached being decent, but not without tradeoffs. I watched these raw, because who cares what they are saying? ;-)

Let me indulge in a short rant about hentai…it sucks. Like live-action porn, it focuses on the least sexiest aspects of sex for extended periods of time. What is it about sex that makes it so impossible to show without making it ridiculous and dull? Perhaps, because it is, at its core, ridiculous and dull? I don’t know…all I know is, that a truly *good* Yuri hentai has yet to be made. There are certainly decent enough scenes here and there and every once in a blue moon, an anime that doesn’t utterly bite…but these are few and far between.

Okay, I’m done ranting. I guess I’ll talk a little about some of the Yuri hentai I’ve watched over time and let you know about some of the gold nuggets I’ve managed to find. And when I’m done watching all of the Cream Lemon series, I’ll even devote a whole entry to the good bits. ^_^

Let’s start today off with the best of the bunch –

Tokio Private Police – 1998

This isn’t just the best Yuri hentai I’ve seen…it’s the best hentai all the way around, period. Right off the bat, it’s a very well-executed parody of Patlabor, an excellent series in its own right. It manages to keep the essential humanity that makes Patlabor so notable, as well as having a sense of humor and an actual plot, go figure.

TPP does have one non-consensual sex scene right in the beginning, but is otherwise filled with more consensual sex than most hentai – and pretty much everyone appears to be enjoying themselves…something that’s all too rare in hentai.

The Yuri scene is relegated to the typical position of okazu, that is…an appetizer, not the main event, but it’s really an exceptionally well done scene. Not only are the women definitely, positively adults, but they sex seems realistic and their bodies, do, as well. No hermaphroditic transformations, no tentacles, no bondage…just really decent sex between two women who look like women. I’ve come to believe that the former are just easier to animate than the latter, hence their proliferation. But on the whole, I’d rather see people going at it and having a hell of a lot of fun than stupid, unrealistic plot complications.

When the “main event” does happen, its no different – we get to see two human adults having good sex. IMHO, this is a refreshing and long overdue concept in hentai.

So, whether you’re in it just for the Yuri, or straight sex appeals, I definitely have to give Tokio Private Police a thumbs up. This *has* been released officially, so get TPP on DVD. It’s definitely worth the money, especially if you’re a Patlabor fan! ^_^