Since I promised, and since you’ll get no more out of me for a while, I thought I’d end “hentai week” with a intermittently detailed and biased review of the entire Cream Lemon series.

Cream Lemon is a 35-episode hentai series comprised of several mini-series. As far as I know, there are no legitimate subtitled versions…possibly no subtitled versions at all for most of it. All I know is that I watched ’em raw and pixellated.. Like I said in my first hentai week post, since it hardly matters what they are saying, it’s no big deal.

A quick overview of Cream Lemon: The art is VERY retro. At times it was a little hard to watch because, even for such early animation, it wasn’t good, or detailed or anything. The stories have actual plots – some are better than others, but there’s probably something for everyone somewhere in the whole. The first half of CL has way more Yuri than the second half, I don’t think it’s on purpose, though.

To start with, Episodes 2,6 and 16 are called, collectively, “Escalation.” This mini-series begins at a Catholic School, where a cool sempai, Naomi, and her twisted lover, Midori, seduce a sweet innocent, Rie. In the second of the three episodes, Naomi-sempai goes all evil S&M ojousama on Rie, Midori and Rie’s roommmate Mari. (And some boy, who disappears somewhere halfway along, and Naomi’s father who serves only to drug Midori, as far as I can tell.) It’s one big old BDSM Yuri fest at Naomi’s mansion. The final of the three episodes is back at school, where new freshman Arisa has got a crush on our heroine Rie. Rie starts to initiate Arisa into her sapphic sisterhood, when roommate Mari shows up and throws a hissy fit. Of course, Mari and Rie make up in the time-honored fashion. Later, Rie visits her old sempai and is rewarded with Arisa as a graduation present. This okazu is followed by a night with Naomi-sempai, while Midori gets sloppy seconds with Arisa. As Rie goes off into the sunset in Naomi’s limo, we can feel confident that Arisa will continue the pattern of high school lesbianism into the future.

Cream Lemon Escalataion gets an “A”.

Episode 4 of CL is a silly scifi/western fusion called “Pop Chaser.” The first half is strictly, predictably Yuri, while the second half is rather amusingly straight. It’s utterly without merit, but I liked it anyway. This one gets a “B+”.

Episode 8 was about a very strange and creepy lesbian sempai with psychic powers who hates guys, and ends with a extended straight sex scene as the hero and heroine’s love power redeem the campus. It pretty much sucked. “C”.

Episode 9 is a a Dirty Pair parody, but the characters are lovers. It was exactly the way it sounds – a Dirty Pair parody, where the characters are lovers. ^_^; It gets a “B”.

Episode 12 was one installation of a horrible mini-series called “Ikenai Mako-chan.” It seems to be about white trash Mako-chan, and her non-adventures in sex. Snooze. This particular episode has a creepy girl, and an inexplicable Yuri seduction. It was okay, no more. “C”.

Episode 14 was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen anywhere, with a two-minute filler Yuri scene. “D”. Even the wildly inappropriate use of Nazi symbolism failed to make an impact.

Episode 17 – Well, this one was weirder and funnier than any of the others, IMHO. Our heroine doesn’t like sex. The school doctor, (who is, predictably, gorgeous and inappropriately dressed) calls her in for counseling. The heroine tells her why she dislikes sex:

Her father left to sell things (from a pushcart) and her mother took a lover. Dad came home and found the two of them in bed and had a heart attack. Mom, the heroine and her brother moved into their grandfather’s house, with the lover. One day, when her mother wasn’t home, the lover raped her, the heroine, on the dining room table. Her brother witnessed it, got angry and drove off and got into a car accident, ending up in traction. The grandfather attempted to rape the mother, but died in the attempt. While the heroine was left at home, her mother’s lover raped her again, and this time, her brother joined, raping her with his crutch.

Maybe it’s just me, but I was absolutely hysterical at this explanation.

Anyway, to cure the heroine, the doctor makes her undress and masturbate in front of the art class…ultimately, she also blows one of her classmates, has sex with him and the whole class ends up in one gigantic orgy. Notably, though, all the girls are having sex with each other, while the guys fight for the doctor.

It wasn’t good, but it was interesting. For that, Episode 17 gets a “B+”.

Episode 25 – some Yuri action while a classmate gets gang raped. Uh-huh. Obviously, they end up in a threesome. Duh. “C”.

Episode 32 – A bad first-time experience forces our heroine to seek assistance from a classmate and her sempai. Threesome, followed by better straight sex the second try. “B”.

Episode 35 – some incidental maid action. I was pretty fried, so I think I missed one – this particular mini-series, Kuroneko something or other, had an earlier episode with more incidental maid and young girl stuff. I think I wiped it from my memory.

So, there you go – look for the Escalation series and Pop Chaser for something you can show your friends, the rest, watch alone when you’re overtired and easily amused. LOL

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And now, I’m outta here for a while – have a great month!