I’m getting used to the panties – what does that say about me?

Last night, about 2/3 way through Volume 2 of Ikkitousen I started to laugh uncontrollably at the complete and utter trashiness of this story. I blame my Dad, because he has such crap-tastic taste in porn. I guess some of it rubbed off – lucky me.

Like the first volume, Volume 2, comes with a lovely reversible cover – Ryofu on one side (above), Kanu on the other, and a two-sided pencil board which depict these two fantastically competent and combative women after they have had frontal lobotomies and are now completely submissive. It’s probably just me, but I think that they are *way* sexier when they look like they could kick my ass. The mini-poster inside the case is nice, but not exceptional.

I was all ready to bitch about the 3-episode volume, but you know, the Japanese version has 2 episodes per volume, so it’s a much worse deal. Do I care? No! Dammit – this series is 13 crappy episodes! Sell it as a 2-DVD set, with a box and all the pencil boards, for pity’s sake. It’ll cost you less to print, you can gouge us for the box and boards and we’ll all be happy. Plus we won’t have to wait obscene amounts of time for all the volumes to come out. Duh.

The translation was a little tighter this time, which was good. No honorifics at all, except for, get this…Mou-chan. I was so happy that they translated that the right way. And Oba-san was turned into “Aunt Goei” so I guess that was reasonably close. Interestingly, they did not bother to translated the Chinese title “Sho Haou” that is given to Hakufu. It means, roughtly, “Little King of Fighters” or something roughly equivalent. The fansubbers had called her the “Junior Lord of Lords”.

As for content, I wasn’t kidding when I said that this anime is trash. I mean, really – it’s trash. The Fighter’s Grand Tournament has begun, by Imperial Order from Enjutsu, who remains icognito (for good reason…). Hakufu, who is clearly unprepared wants to fight anyway, while Koukin annoyed the living daylights out of me by trying to micromanage Hakufu’s every action and word. By the end of the DVD, more than anything else, I wanted someone, preferably Ryomou, to pound the daylights out of Koukin – what a jerk that boy is. And a hypocritical prude. Get *over* it already – the girls have breasts and asses, yes. Now move on.

Speaking of Ryomou – we learn that she did indeed have a life previous to this DVD and was, indeed, wearing the eyepatch before then as well. Her sempai was paralyzed and blinded in a previous Tournament. So much for Ryomou’s rich backstory. She then toddles off to a dark wood where she meets, fights and is defeated by Ryofu. Ryomou is further humiliated as Ryfou, having paralyzed her, then rapes her. But it’s all in good fun, you see, because Ryofu is really just a dedicated and omnisexual follower of Toutou. Ryofu is also impossibly stacked. She must have those things crazy-glued into that jacket.

Anyway, up from the beating she’s given Ryoumou, Ryofu goes off to have sex with Saji – and for a change we get to see him give her a good time. ‘Bout time, too.

In the meantime Hakufu destroys an entire school’s Fighters because she goes all dragon-postal.

After finding her determination (mostly to get back at Ryofu), Ryomou beats a team of Fighters on her own, then goes on to have a serious kick-ass fight with Kanu Unchou, who complete outclasses my poor Mou-chan. Even after Ryomou breaks her arm (I’m pretty sure that the arm would have been dislocated at the shoulder before it broke, but I’m just being picky,) she’s outfought. Kanu could and does, kick her ass with, literally, one arm behind her back. Hakufu give Kanu a bit of a whooping, but Kanu retires, covered in sweat and glory, leaving Hakufu’s school up one in the ranking.

Which brings us to the leaast interesting character in the series – the guy in charge. We are supposed to see Toutou as some incredibly powerful, seriously heavy juju kinda guy? I don’t see it. He’s a bore. I support Ryofu’s determination to oust his lazy-ass ass. And his favorite pillow, Bunwa? Is she a threat? Why>? All she does is suck up to him – in several different ways. Wow – getting service, scary.

In the end, Ryofu confides in her loyal lackey Chinkyuu that she’s going to be the top dog and, as is always appropriate with Ryofu, they celebrate by having sex. Whee! Much better!

So, yuri-wise, this volume is about as good as it gets. Ryofu does Ryomou (and damn I wish they would have gotten together for real…) and then Chinkyuu. Go Ryofu!

Ratings:

Story – 6

Character – 8, except Koukin and Toutou, who are 1’s

Art – 6

Yuri – 9

Music – 2 (Let’s talk about the utter suckiness of the opening theme, shall we?)

Fanservice – 10

Overall – this is a 6 at best, but I kind of like it anyway.

Ultimately, this series is about three things: fanservice, fighting, and fanservice. If you’re not into these, don’t bother.