Much like the goings on from the first Strawberry Panic Drama CD, the second Strawberry Panic DCD, primarily follows the characters from one of the schools, in this case, the girls of St. Spica. Like the first volume, this takes place sometime during the first half of the series. You can tell because Kaname and Momomi are still evil, but not yet ridiculous. More or less.

(Please imagine me rolling my eyes throughout this entire review…it’ll save time in the long run.)

The annual physical exam is coming and quite inexplicably Hikari decides she’s gotten a little fat. Yaya determines to help her by enforcing an unrealistic exercise schedule, while Tsubomi insists on “helping” by creating meals with insufficient calories to sustain her. Of course, Hikari is doing this all because in some way that I don’t understand, it will make Amane happy. Or insane with lust, I really don’t know.

Evil Psycho Lesbians Kaname and Momomi show up as Hikari and Yaya jog, only to confuse everyone with their bizarre blather about the physical exams and Hikari’s body. When the others leave them, confused, Kaname and Momomi reassure one another that this plan will work to defeat Hikari, and therefore Amane, and that it’s going to be loads of fun for them both.

After training, Tsubomi and Yaya compete to massage a weary Hikari, complete with quasi-sexual moaning and near orgasmic paroxysms by Yaya and Tsubomi. This is followed by Hikari breathily discussing her body with Amane, under the guise of interest in Starbright’s, Amane’s horse’s, health.

We spend some moments establishing a running gag (and I mean that word in several ways) about Nagisa wolfing food down, not caring that the ominous exam is coming. While she stuffs her face, Shizuma’s only comment is that she’s darn cute when she does that – a comment met with confusion on the part of Miyuki.

Apparently at Astoria, the girls themselves take their own measurements and record their own health. There is excitement as various students apply to be able to do the exams – and especially for that ever-important and yet so pointlessly servicey “three size” position. (The “three size”s are of course, bust-waist-hips, and I remain steadfast in the belief that there is not one really decent reason why that has to be included in any school exam. I have no doubt that it’s a pervy guy thing and yes, it offends me.)

Yaya and Tsubomi apply to take the three sizes position in order to see Hikari naked.

(…okay, pervy girl thing too. But no less offensive.)

The winner is…!

On the day of the exam, we learn that Chikaru’s harem, Lemon, Kizuna and Kagome (who sounds even more on valium than ever before) got the prize positions. Kagome relies on her stuffed bear Percival to take down the details, to everyone’s distress.

At the thought that Amane is about to shed her clothes, an overworked, underfed Hikari faints. (Shocker, I know.) She wakes to find herself in the infirmary, with a very distressed Amane at her side. So Hikari gets what she wanted in the first place, Amane touching her.

The moral of the story is, of course, that behaving like a prat gets the girl. Or that starving yourself is the right thing to do. Or something.

Yaya and Tsubomi argue over whose fault it is, each trying to take responsibility over the other. Hikari rightfully blames herself, but for entirely the wrong reasons.

Meanwhile, Nagisa shrieks in a manner more irritating than ever before – why didn’t anyone *tell* her about the exam? Ah ha ha ha.

Amane swears to be there for Hikari – to help her, to carry her if need be. Cue romantic music and the endless repetition of the words “Amane-sempai” by Hikari.

Nagisa stuffs her face in anguish over the weight she’s gained. Shizuma, to Miyuki’s consternation, only comments, “cute!” “Cute?” Miyuki boggles.

Meanwhile Chikaru and her harem and Nagisa and some other folks are doing a midnight tea. Chikaru announces a Astoria “Sexy Queen” contest based on the three size results. Kagome mentions that Percival is going to get undressed, and Lemon wonders what the naked teddy bear could possibly remove? His skin? Tamao suggests, to which Lemon begs Kagome to not undress Percival, PLEASE. Chikaru pronounces herself the winner of the “Sexy Queen” contest. Everyone sweatdrops.

In the bathroom, Kaname and Momomi plot anew, but as Kaname talks about Hikari, Momomi grows worried and asks if Kaname isn’t maybe starting to like the girl. You only give your love to one person, right? Momomi asks. And truthfully, yet omniously to those of us who have seen the entire series, Kaname replies – I give my love to only one person.

Still arguing over whose fault it is, Yaya and Tsubomi tell Hikari to stay out of this, so Hikari says she’s off to take a shower. Shower? Yaya and Tsubomi join her and take great liberties with her body. More servicey means and groans. The end.

The cast credits sound like everyone HATED this script. ^_^ Everyone’s like, “So-and-so role, my name, this was fun, thank you.” The “get me the hell out of here” was understood.

The last track is a preview of the final volume, which in it’s horrible way seems kind of fun. Look forward to scrunchy-making embarrassing conversations with Chikaru and her harem. ^_^

Ratings:

Story – 3
Characters – 4
Yuri – 8
Service – 9

Overall – 5

It’s trite, it’s predictable and unfunny, but there are some genuinely amusing bits, Kaname and Momomi are hysterically freakish. It’s trash, no question, but it makes an entertaining and diverting way to practice your Japanese listening skills. ^_^