Welcome to Guest Review Wednesday! It’s always such a pleasure to have a Guest Review and even more exciting, today we have a brand new Guest Reviewer. I’d like you to all give a warm welcome to Kristin, who is doing me a huge favor today by taking a look at Assault Lily Bouquet which is streaming on Funimation.com!

Well hello! I don’t think I’ve ever been here before! Years ago I used to be the manga and anime reviewer for ComicAttack.net, but these days I just shit talk on Twitter with my former peers. Anyway, I’m Kristin. You can find those old reviews here. Today I am lending Erica a hand and giving her eyeballs (and blood pressure) a break. She really didn’t need to watch this one.

Assault Lily: Bouquet is a new anime based on a mixed-media franchise, the primary mode being toy figurines. The doll line was created by Azone International and Acus in 2013. A light novel was published by Micro Magazine/GC Novels in 2015, and a manga is currently running in Monthly Bushiroad. Monthly Bushiroad’s parent company, Bushiroad Media, primarily concerns itself with trading card games and associated media. Azone International makes fashion dolls. Now, this mixture of media is very common. I don’t know why the Assault Lily series is particularly popular at present, but then America made a movie about the game Battleship in 2012, so time frames aren’t really an issue. To be honest, the dolls are kind of cute, and the “girls with guns” (or random weapons bigger than they are) genre is perennial. Not my style or interest, personally, but they look well made.

That’s the main thing that can also be said about the anime. It’s well made.

Assault Lily (and in conjunction Assault Lily: Bouquet, of course) tells the story of a group of teenage girls (the show specifically says 16-17) who attend a prestigious academy. Not just any academy, of course, but one that teaches these girls how to fight large, mechanical monsters called Huge. Yes, the Huge are huge. To fight these monsters, the girls sync up with their Charms through a ring they wear. Yes, their Charms are charms. Charms are the weapons the girls use to fight the monsters, and teenage girls have the greatest ability to synchronize with this technology. Hitotsuyanagi Riri is the newest Lily, arriving in episode one at the academy in order to follow her idol, Shirai Yuyu, who saved her from a Huge two years ago. Right away, Riri is thrust into combat as she joins Yuyu and another student, Kaede, in tracking down a Huge that escaped the school’s research facility. Unfortunately, while Riri’s combat experience and ability are fairly suspect, the main problem is that she has not yet synced up with her Charm. This is quickly remedied, and Riri and the snobbish, Yuyu-obsessed Kaede finish the Huge off. Riri saves Kaede from the explosive aftermath, making Kaede abandon Yuyu for her new savior. Since the girls do tend to pair up with combat partners (called “Schutzengel,” or “Guardian Angel”), it seems Riri may be on track to form such a relationship on day one.

Well. There’s a plot there, somewhere. In between all of the zettai ryouiki, the “absolute territory” of thigh skin revealed between a girl’s skirt and (usually over-the-knee, mid-thigh) socks. Because the series pays very close attention to this little patch of skin. You’ll note the, ah, generic lore. Which is probably fine for a collection of dolls, but isn’t very interesting or impacting in an anime series. Nothing is really unique here – girls with guns/large weapons, teenagers fighting monsters, large and nasty robots. There’s hardly anything to talk about. It’s just sort of…dull. There’s a couple quick fight scenes, and they’re pretty, but not much else. Really, the whole show is pretty. SHAFT is the animation studio, and they’ve done some beautiful work in the past. They’re also no stranger to “magical girl” series, which would be the closest genre Assault Lily: Bouquet could fit. Nor are they stranger to overly sexualized teen girls. They’ve even done strong friendships with girls. This, though, is some kind of…light Yuri fan service for middle-aged men. The show airs in a past-midnight time slot on a Thursday night/Friday morning, so it’s certainly not directed at young girls. Which really makes it sort of uncomfortable. There are just so many thigh shots and boob shots, and the uniforms are designed to make this extra effective.

Ratings:

Art – 9, it’s beautiful! SHAFT knows how to animate, no question.

Story – ….4? For the first episode. It’s just so generic, honestly. I’ve seen this many times, even if the technical aspects of the magic and technology are new. Look, it’s based on a toy line. Which is fine, but it’s designed to sell more dolls.

Characters – 6, I suppose. If the designs weren’t so…zettai ryouki focused, they might be cute. There’s also a lot of characters. Maybe too many, as far as who seems to be featured.

Service – Depends on what kind of service you want. Are you really into the thigh skin of 16-year-old girls?

Yuri – It’s a trap. If you’re drawn to the not-so-subtle Yuri undertones, it’s a trap, run away. They’re gonna lean into it for its audience, but I highly doubt it will be worth it unless you’re really into the skin and bouncing boobs of teenage girls.

Overall – Seven highly deliberate shots of the “absolute territory” on teenage girls.

Erica here:  Thank you so much Kristin. I did try, but as you say, it was not good for my blood pressure. In my opinion, Assault Lily Bouquet is a magical girl version of Ikkitousen with about as much respect for its female characters, only starring fetuses in frilly dresses. ^_^ Thank you again and we hope to have you back soon!