For those of us interested in Yuri, the name Kimura Minori might not be the first one of the Magnificent 49ers who comes to mind, but like so many of her peers, she did contribute to genre. Umibe no Cain (海辺のカイン) was written in 1980-81 and it feels very much like a look from outside at a queer life, but woo was this a bitter cup of manga to drink.

The story follows Mori Nobuko, a gender non-conforming afab person and Sano, a woman she meets in the park. Sano invites Mori to stop in for some tea and cake and the two strike up a friendship. Sano is a designer of children’s clothes. Mori can tell she really likes children and wants girls to have clothes that make them happy. This triggers a series of painful memories for Mori. We learn about her mother who has treated Mori less well than her other, more conventionally feminine child. Mori has a lifetime of gender dysphoria  and loathing of dresses and skirts, all of which is incredibly painful for her to recount.

Sano and she get together regularly, Mori even moves to the same town – she was actually there looking for a place to live when they met. Sano invites her to a show of her designs, Mori invites Sano to see her perform at the bar she sings at. All the while, Mori’s struggle with her gender presentation comes out as they talk over late nights and a lot of cake.

Mori finally goes to see her family, dressed in a fashionable suit with a skirt and in doing so, says goodbye to the person her mother wanted her to become and gets the rid of the guilt she feels. She goes back to Sano’s and tearfully recalls how awful and small a person her mother was. Sano’s response is to note that Mori’s mother did not sound adult at all.  The two of them go out for a drink and Mori gets quite drunk and admits that she is in love with Sano. They go back to Sano’s place and make love, but Sano quickly distances herself from Mori.

Mori finally drops by Sano’s and is not let into the house. Sano begs her to say that that night was just because they were drunk and it was curiosity, but having been freed of her self-loathing by Sano, Mori cannot do that. In tears, but smiling sadly, she walks away…and leaves that town forever.

So, yeah, this was  a pretty painful read on a bunch of levels. It hit all sorts of clothing dysphoria buttons I have and the ending was sad and bitter and angry-making. It was 1980, for fuck’s sake, not 1950. I was happy that Sano cared enough about Mori to help her dismantle her own forest of thorns, but frustrated that she wasn’t willing to be honest with herself.

As the anime gives us The Rose of Versailles‘ Oscar, we also have Umibe no Cain‘s Mori. These will be later joined by Maria-sama ga Miteru‘s Satou Sei and all of those sexual and gender minorities out there who have to carve our way out of our own forests of thorns.  ^_^;

As I read this volume, I found myself mentally bargaining for it – maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. If this had been written pre-1970, I would have accepted it at face value, but in 1980, I just found it a distasteful narrative. Mori deserved better. I want her to find a nice gal who likes her for who she is. ^_^;

Obviously there’s no way I can call this queer representation, but it seems like a solid piece of queer perception and I can’t help but think of media like this poisoning people’s minds, so that the kids who grew up with this, would hit the 90s writing those stories of death or marriage that fill my shelves. What might the world have looked like if Mori and Sano had been allowed to be happy? Whatever it is – that’s the world I want to see in my manga. I don’t miss 1980 and I don’t miss manga like this being the only queer thing on the shelves.  That said, I did appreciate the honest discussions of what now call gender dysphoria. In the end, I only wish we had had an equally honest discussion of sexuality.

Ratings:

Art – 9
Story – Like sticking pins under your nails
Characters – 9 So fully fleshed out, it actually hurt more
Service – mmmmm….a very little bit of nudity. Mom was kinda creepy. Let’s go with 3
Yuri – 6 Emotional intimacy and sex

Overall – I am very glad I read it, but I resented it a lot. It left a very bitter aftertaste.

You can find this from 3rd party sellers and used manga stores, OR you can read it digitally on ebook Japan!

Thanks to Rachel Thorn for giving me the impetus to get a copy of this manga!