Even before the pandemic, I rarely went to the theater to see movies. I know many people feel it is the only way to truly enjoy a movie. For me – a person who does not love movies all that much in the first place – it is an inconvenient way to not enjoy a movie. Theaters are too cold, the seat are always uncomfortable  (more so now that we are paying more to sit in worn, broken recliners all the time) the movies are, without exception too loud for the space and nothing on the screen needs to be that big, as directors keep choosing to get so close up that I can see nose hairs.

Streaming is fine for me, but again, I don’t really remember to watch movies for months and months, so the one time I catch up on all my movie watching is when I am on a plane. Sure I could read. But watching a movie on a teeny, poor quality screen, often without sound because I don’t bother plugging in my headphones, stuck in a metal shell flying above the earth, is about how I like watching movies. ^_^

I watched 4 movies on the way to Japan. Links to Amazon Prime, but they do stream elsewhere.

Barbie – I loved it. I loved that it was so nuanced and thoughtful. I cried a few times – not just when America Ferrera deprogrammed Barbies with the reality of being a woman. Will Farrell being a send-up of the kind of role he takes so often – the hyper enthusiastic bad guy who just wants to destroy fun things – was outstanding and Ryan Gosling as Ken was, honestly, perfect. But Margot Robbie. Holy shit. She was Barbie. Yes, Barbie was a terrific feminist movie, with some great things layered in. Sasha’s disdain for Barbie felt really real, mirroring the disappointment I have always felt about Barbie during my lifetime. Dream House, Party Van…but she hates math, tee. fucking. hee. (Yes, she’s been updated many times, but that one stung.) Now she’s a fashion icon into which Frida Kahlo has been made and all I can say to that is…Sappho on a radical cracker…no.

So Sasha spoke for me. I’ll never buy a Barbie, but Greta Gerwig took the story to some amazing places. Rhea Perlman as Ruth Handler was what had me in tears.  And her final note that Kens really need to work on their own insecurities was, I thought, spot on.

10/10

Blue Beetle – It was a decent superhero movie. Xolo Maridueña, whom I know only from Cobra Kai, was great as Jaime Reyes. The story was a great underdog hero tale, the love interest was a boring handwave that had to happen to make things work. The underlying systemic racism and oppression was softened a lot so that if you were exceptionally clueless you could mostly ignore it, something all mainstream movies and TV do which actually annoys me. What’s left hurts people who have lived through it, and is barely noticeable by those who haven’t.

I never watched the cartoon – it hit just when I didn’t have access to broadcast media. So this was my first experience with the character. He seemed like a DC attempt at a Spiderman. It was a fun movie, needed some popcorn and comfier chair.

8/10

A Haunting in Venice – I am a huge Hercule Poirot fan and, for so many Poirot fans, the problem with anyone attempting playing Poirot is that David Suchet WAS Poirot and everyone else fails. Kenneth Branagh has a tendency to play Kenneth Branagh, so this movie was definitely Kenneth Branagh playing Poirot. It was atmospheric – the atmosphere was literally a character in the story. Tina Fey as Ariadne Oliver was outstanding – I know that because, until just a moment ago, I had no idea Tina Fey played Ariadne Oliver. She just *was* Ariadne Oliver in much the way Zoë Wanamaker was in Suchet’s version.  And Michelle Yeoh took what was a microscopic role and did amazing things with it. It was just her acting and boy howdy, did she act.

The mystery felt cobbled together, but was a solid bit of acting by all involved. I would probably watch this again if it were on and I wasn’t watching anything else.

7/10

Encanto – I have, for a number of reasons, watched Disney’s Coco like 4 times and I still don’t hate it, which is remarkable, because I definitely do not like Disney. A friend of mine loves Disney and musicals and absolutely raved about Encanto, so I thought, sure, why not? Well, it does a way better job of dealing with generational trauma than Blue Beetle, but in a lot of ways is kind of the same movie, from a different angle.

The animation was excellent. So good, I have to warn you all – the facial expressions are starting to look very real and when Disney starts making deepfakes for law enforcement, we are fucked. No joke, that they choose to make doll-faces on their characters is a relief, because if they went for human looking faces, there’d be almost no uncanny alley.

The music was sticky and fine. “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” is definitely the showstopper, but Isabela’s empowering herself was my favorite scene. Luisa’s crisis was powerful, as well. Two excellent scenes that don’t get the attention they deserve. But…there is a flaw in the story that I cannot forgive. Dolores. She has super-hearing and is described as being able to hear pins drop a mile away….but she cannot hear something (giant spoiler) vastly louder (giant spoiler) close by (giant spoiler)? This is a huge, unforgivable plot hole. Her character is also a tattle-tale. For a woman who hears secrets she has to know aren’t hers to share, she sure is a blabbermouth. Also, how does she not know the other main secret, since Abuela talks to herself, the house and her late husband out loud all the time. Sigh.

7/10

On the way home I watched two movies. I should have opted for a third but these were not good and wore me out.

Aquaman – Jason Momoa is lovely. Everything else about that movie was a comic book done by someone who knows what comic books are, but not how to write them. I kept falling asleep watching this. It’s pretty, but meaningless. Nice to see Nicole Kidman in it though. Patrick Wilson as King Orm kept making me think of Judson Scott.  Watch cool clips on Youtube, skip the movie.

4/10

Knights Of The Zodiac – While in Tokyo, the wife and I visited the Tamashii Nations store in Akihabara where the AKB48 cafe and the Gundam Cafe used to be. It was there, we were there, why not.  They had a huge exhibit of Saint Seiya figurines which was impressive. No pics allowed, but the wife got me and Athena.

I have never seen any Saint Seiya, except for one music video back in 2002 or so, set to the Apotheosis remix of Carl Orff’s O Fortuna that has lived rent free in my head since. ^_^ (This may well be my favorite sentence I have ever written.)

So I decided to give Knights of the Zodiac a try.  It was…okay. Less bad than Aquaman, and, as I read the Wikipedia of the series, slightly less incoherent than the actual manga. Also Sean Bean. So that was nice. Mackenyu, who also played Zorro in the wonderful One Piece live-action series (seriously, speaking as a longtime One Piece fan, it was fantastic. Highly recommended.) played Seiya. He brought an intensity to the role that (having read the synoposis, so now I am an expert) suits it well.

I thought the story as presented was silly. Sadly everything is not ending, so telling me that x person will destroy everything, lowers the stakes considerably for me as a viewer. Personal loss is much more powerful than “the earth will be destroyed!” I was deeply disappointed that we did not see many other Knights. I was kind of hoping that we’d get a group armor shot. Oh well. I don’t know if a fan should watch this, because it definitely has nothing to do with the actual manga story, but let me know if you are and how you felt about it.

5/10

I’m mostly caught up now on movies. Guess it’s time to actually look to see what’s on Netflix. ^_^