Archive for the Hentai Category


Yuri Anime: [ẻl] (English)

March 20th, 2009

Did you know that the tagline for Rare Flix is “The Films Everyone Else Forgot”? It is, really. And sometimes we have to take a moment and remember why exactly, they were forgotten. ^_^

The plot of EL, such as it is, involves a post-apocalyptic earth, the “good” guys, called the Snipers, and the “bad guys” who are all women, called the Black Widows. What the Black Widows are actually doing is a little fuzzy, and I find it hard to get behind the “good guys” who use gang rape as an interrogation tool.

Our heroine, El, is an elite Sniper, as witnessed by the fact that 1) she wears a microskirt and halter top. That’s always a dead giveaway. And 2) she is the heroine. Duh.

El is hired to be the bodyguard of one of the two top pop idols of the world, a girl named Parsley. Parsely immediately begins throwing herself at El, since El is clearly the only character in the entire series who doesn’t suck. Stuff happens and everyone dies. Seriously. Everyone but El is dead by the end of this DVD.

Let’s cut to the chase here. This story bit; it is full of non-consensual sex and torture. But the lesbian sex was entirely consensual, not too cliched and actually had genuine affection and even sincere protestations of love. So, those parts weren’t too bad. Unfortunately, everyone dies by the end, which sort of puts a downer on the whole story. Oh well, it’s not like we were waiting for the next installment, anyway.

Ratings:

Art – 4
Story – 4
Characters – 5
Yuri – 9
Service – 37.5

Overall – 5

This is is one of those anime that you think as you watch it, “Why the hell is hentai always made for the loseriest losers ever? If it were made for me, it really would have not sucked nearly so bad.” But, reality check, hentai is made for the loseriest losers ever, so joke’s on you. Hah.

My sincere, erm, thanks, to Rare Flix/Kitty Media/Media Blasters for this. Yes…thanks….





Yuri Anime Manga: Cream Lemon Escalation, Volume 2

January 29th, 2009

A few weeks ago, I regaled you with the tale of my visit to the Media Blasters store. While there, I was given this precious tome, the second volume of the anime manga of Cream Lemon Escalation (くりぃむレモン　エスカレション).

This volume is quite literally stills from the third episode of Escalation, wherein our heroine Rie, having lost Naomi-oneesama to graduation, takes out her needs on new arrival Arisa. Rie’s roommate Mari chases Arisa out, only to declare her happiness at their friendship to Rie, followed by declarations of love, of desire and, after they make love, the fact that she’s leaving Japan in the morning.

Rie receives an invitation to Naomi’s mansion, where she has Arisa for appetizers and Naomi for the main course, after which Naomi declares she’ll be leaving Japan in the morning.

…

I never really noticed that before. Maybe it’s Rie’s love-making skills, driving women away in droves. lol

In any case, we see Rie graduate, leave Arisa her picture and driving off happily to be Naomi’s love slave. Presumably.

The book flips, and becomes the first Black Cat Mansion episode about a guy, some maids and a housefire.

This little treasure of a book is something that I’ll happily add to the collection here at Yuri Central. But I think that if I want to relive this forerunner of so much Catholic schoolgirl Yuri, I’ll stick with the novel, which was howlingly funny.

Ratings:

Art – 5
Story – 4
Characters – 6 Rie really grew on me, although I have no idea why.
Yuri – 9
Service – 9

Overall – 6

A brother-not-in-law saw it on the review pile and picked it up, blushed, then put it down. “Well…,” he said. “That’s pretty explicit.”





Yuri Anime: Shoujo Sect OAV 3

November 27th, 2008

Here we are, at the final OAV of the Shoujo sect anime. And compared with the last two volumes, it was way closer to the manga. But….

Okay, so, Ma-ya and Shinobu have their little moment, and Shinobu is molested by the evil sempai. That situation was changed around a bit, but the rewrite didn’t kill the scene particularly. Momoko’s reaction was modified, for the worse, I think. The fire extinguisher wasn’t just an expression of violence – it was an absolute expression of just how deeply Momoko felt about Sempai’s attack on Shinobu.

The end too was rewritten slightly. Instead of Momoko moving away, and Shinobu and she having a reunion after four months, we harken back to the their first meeting on the playground and their first kiss (which had also been changed from the manga.) This leads into the final sex scene for the series.

And that, I’m sorry to say is where this series is a complete turkey. Porn, unless I’m mistaken, is meant to be sexually titillating. Listening to the voice actresses suck and slurp and lick so absurdly in this volume was absolutely laughable, and a little nauseating. I get it, I do. Sounds have to be exaggerated for effect, but uh…no. A thousand times, no. When I turned the sound off, the sex scenes weren’t that bad, but when I offered an earphone to the wife for a moment she said, “Eww?!” and made the same scrunchy face I myself wore. Each to their own, and all, but for me, the best part of the sex in this anime was that each scene was short, due to time constraints.

What did you think of this series?

Ratings:

Art – 6
Story – 4
Characters – 6
Yuri – 9
Service – 8

When the sex in a piece of porn is the least good thing, you know you’re watching a real turkey.

And speaking of turkey – in the spirit of the Thanksgiving, I would like to express my thanks to all of you, my readers, fans, Okazu heroes and superheroes! I couldn’t do it without you!





Ane-Imouto Manga

November 17th, 2008

A long time ago, my mother told me that if I had nothing nice to say, to not say anything.

Therefore, in regards to AneImouto…I have nothing to say.

Ratings:

Overall – 2





Yuri Anime: Shoujo Sect, OAV 2

October 7th, 2008

So, Volume 2 of Shoujo Sect came out and I watched it dutifully. I’m pretty certain that porn is not meant to be this boring. ^_^;

Volume 2 of the anime picks up the “story” somewhere towards the end of Volume 1 of the manga and tracks it into Volume 2. We are treated to several sex scenes in this episode: Kirin and Matsuri, who yowled like a cat, and Nori and Aki, the unpleasant twins who shared a sempai snack. And Momoko’s short love affair with her teacher. The climax of the plot comes when Shinobu (suddenly and without preamble) confesses her feelings to Momoko.

Here’s where it actually offered a little entertainment. In the manga, Shinobu asks Momoko to jam with her – Momoko on bass, Shinobu on harmonica. She wants them to play Paul Anka’s “Diana,” a choice I still find highly amusing.

In the anime, we see Momoko play harmonica in music class, instead of recorders, I guess. It’s a flash-by scene, not meant to be anything. But as the episode ends, we hear the sounds of “When The Saints Go Marching In” played awkwardly on harmonicas. It was so random that it absolutely slayed me. Best bit of the anime so far.

Hopefully the last episode won’t be too clogged with other random couples and we’ll be able to focus on Kirin and Maya having a Shinobu appetizer before Momoko gets the main course.

Ratings:

Art – 6
Story – 4
Characters – 6
Yuri – 9
Service – 8

I did a sanity check and re-read the manga after watching this episode. It wasn’t winning any Pulitzer Prizes, either. ^_^