Girls With Something Extra

Today we’re gonna talk about a coupla Newhalf anime. This may not be considered by some people to be *real* Yuri, and I understand why…but bear with me and let me see if I can convince you of my position. ;-)

To start with, futanari is the Japanese term for what we tend to call “dick girls” or “she-males,” i.e., characters with breasts that look, act and sound like girls, but happen to have male genitalia. (As opposed to transgender people, which is a completely different thing.) These stories are targeted to a male audience, and almost always involve the futanari girl getting it on with a “real” girl. This is because the original target audience for these stories were adult men who cross-dressed and thus the futanari embodies what they wanted to be seen as – completely feminine, with that little something extra. Since these guys are almost always straight, none of them want to see the girl having sex with a guy (ewwww), so that’s why there are mostly Yuri futanari stories out there.

Nowadays, I think the genre has split a little – there are characters which are fairly obviously meant to be girls with penises, and characters that are guys who have breasts. (I’ll talk about these later….) If you’re not diehard anti-cock, there are a few fairly decent Yuri hentai out there. Let’s look at two:

Parade Parade

This two-episode OVA is not high art, if you know what I mean. (Nor is it High Art, if you know what I mean! ^_^ Sorry…little lesbian movie joke there….) It tells the sex-filled story of Kaori, a rising pop idol who’s female manager is madly, and quite passionately, in love with her. But Kaori has a secret…duh. The end of the first episode brings the arrival of Kaori’s manager’s old lover, (a typical anime-style S&M ojou-sama and her slave,) who challenge Kaori and her manager to a sex duel. Hilarity ensues.

Whether or not you think that Kaori is a girl or not, the other characters are *definitely* female, so this is almost completely Yuri, even discounting Kaori, which I don’t. I think she’s a girl. With a dick. So, IMHO…this is 100% Yuri and really, its kinda cute and silly and sweet. As Yuri hentai goes, it’s harmless fun and not disgusting or dismissive, as so many are.

Stainless Night

This is a sort of scifi Yuri thing. Android Linnea (Linear) is awakened from a long stasis to find herself revived by a team of female scientists. She and one of the scientists fall in love, have sex, and are attacked by Linnea’s evil nemesis robot (the usual cheesy S&M-style evil kind). In the end, Linnea determines to learn more about herself, but she’ll come back, she promises!

I can’t even really consider Linnea a futanari, because she’s not human at all and she only develops the extra body part in the throes of ecstasy….it’s all very tastefully done.

Most importantly, the story isn’t awful, the sex is quite nice and all in all, one of the best Yuri anime I own. If the thingy between Linnea’s legs bugs you, then probably you shouldn’t watch Yuri hentai much, since this is pretty tame by hentai standards.

Just in case you care about this kind of thing – both of these stories have no guys, no tentacles, minimal bodily fluids by comparison, and no seriously violent rape. They both focus on “nice” as the main relationship factor and actually have love somewhere in there. Sort of in the “awwwww” category for hentai. ^_^

Both these are legitimately licensed anime, owned and distro’ed by Media Blasters, so do make sure you purchase these, as opposed to engaging in illegal downloads. Or, rent if you prefer – several of the online DVD rental companies have hentai anime available.

One last note about futnari. Earlier on, I mentioned that there *were* stories with guys who have breasts, as opposed to the above, here’s two quickie examples:

Chimera – The manga for this has a “Yuri” scene between the main character and a woman (who is obviously a lesbian, as she has about three female servants draped over her, naked.) Chimera, however, despite “her” ability to pass and function as a woman is really a guy…a guy who looks really nice in women’s underwear. The anime is a hoot, too, but sans the Yuri. The story is suposed to be about Chimera’s deadly assassination skills and her quest for revenge, but it’s mostly about her dressing in women’s underwear. I loved it for its utter cheesiness.

Purple – This is a completely obscure manga I discovered in Japan, but didn’t buy, then obsessed over for months, until I found here at a used manga store. It’s about a boy who falls in love with a girl who transfers into his class. She’s *very* forward with him, and basically seduces him on the roof, only….she’s a guy. And very openly so. She has breasts, but she’s got a penis too. He freaks out, but can’t get her out of his head. In the meantime, a lesbian in the school falls for her, and *they* start dating. The heroine tries to sleep with the lesbian, but *she* freaks about the penis, too. Poor heroine…no one loves her penis. In a wonderful scene, the hero just…gives in. He really does. It was so sweet – he just decides that he loves her and wants her too much to let something like this get in the way. So he sleeps with her, which is good, because up to that point he’d become a raving asshole, who kept just-about-raping a girl who liked him in order to prove he was a “real” man – did I mention he’s horribly conflicted because he sleeps with his mother? Ultimately, the heroine goes off to have a sex change, and ends up living with both the hero, and the lesbian in a strange, but happy love triangle. I really liked this story, and for the life of me, I have no idea why. ^_^ If you like a challenge, grab up a copy of Purple and let me know what you think!

I spent some time this weekend watching about half of the *very* old hentai series Cream Lemon (which is one of the possible origins for the use of the word “lemon” to represent explicit sexual content in a story, btw). I can’t say I was disappointed, because my expectations for Yuri hentai are very low. Some of it almost approached being decent, but not without tradeoffs. I watched these raw, because who cares what they are saying? ;-)

Let me indulge in a short rant about hentai…it sucks. Like live-action porn, it focuses on the least sexiest aspects of sex for extended periods of time. What is it about sex that makes it so impossible to show without making it ridiculous and dull? Perhaps, because it is, at its core, ridiculous and dull? I don’t know…all I know is, that a truly *good* Yuri hentai has yet to be made. There are certainly decent enough scenes here and there and every once in a blue moon, an anime that doesn’t utterly bite…but these are few and far between.

Okay, I’m done ranting. I guess I’ll talk a little about some of the Yuri hentai I’ve watched over time and let you know about some of the gold nuggets I’ve managed to find. And when I’m done watching all of the Cream Lemon series, I’ll even devote a whole entry to the good bits. ^_^

Let’s start today off with the best of the bunch –

Tokio Private Police – 1998

This isn’t just the best Yuri hentai I’ve seen…it’s the best hentai all the way around, period. Right off the bat, it’s a very well-executed parody of Patlabor, an excellent series in its own right. It manages to keep the essential humanity that makes Patlabor so notable, as well as having a sense of humor and an actual plot, go figure.

TPP does have one non-consensual sex scene right in the beginning, but is otherwise filled with more consensual sex than most hentai – and pretty much everyone appears to be enjoying themselves…something that’s all too rare in hentai.

The Yuri scene is relegated to the typical position of okazu, that is…an appetizer, not the main event, but it’s really an exceptionally well done scene. Not only are the women definitely, positively adults, but they sex seems realistic and their bodies, do, as well. No hermaphroditic transformations, no tentacles, no bondage…just really decent sex between two women who look like women. I’ve come to believe that the former are just easier to animate than the latter, hence their proliferation. But on the whole, I’d rather see people going at it and having a hell of a lot of fun than stupid, unrealistic plot complications.

When the “main event” does happen, its no different – we get to see two human adults having good sex. IMHO, this is a refreshing and long overdue concept in hentai.

So, whether you’re in it just for the Yuri, or straight sex appeals, I definitely have to give Tokio Private Police a thumbs up. This *has* been released officially, so get TPP on DVD. It’s definitely worth the money, especially if you’re a Patlabor fan! ^_^