Archive for the Hentai Category


Yuri Anime: Cream Lemon

March 22nd, 2004

clemonescSince I promised, and since you’ll get no more out of me for a while, I thought I’d end “hentai week” with a intermittently detailed and biased review of the entire Cream Lemon series.

Cream Lemon is a 35-episode hentai series comprised of several mini-series. As far as I know, there are no legitimate subtitled versions…possibly no subtitled versions at all for most of it. All I know is that I watched ’em raw and pixellated.. Like I said in my first hentai week post, since it hardly matters what they are saying, it’s no big deal.

A quick overview of Cream Lemon: The art is VERY retro. At times it was a little hard to watch because, even for such early animation, it wasn’t good, or detailed or anything. The stories have actual plots – some are better than others, but there’s probably something for everyone somewhere in the whole. The first half of CL has way more Yuri than the second half, I don’t think it’s on purpose, though.

To start with, Episodes 2,6 and 16 are called, collectively, “Escalation.” This mini-series begins at a Catholic School, where a cool sempai, Naomi, and her twisted lover, Midori, seduce a sweet innocent, Rie. In the second of the three episodes, Naomi-sempai goes all evil S&M ojousama on Rie, Midori and Rie’s roommmate Mari. (And some boy, who disappears somewhere halfway along, and Naomi’s father who serves only to drug Midori, as far as I can tell.) It’s one big old BDSM Yuri fest at Naomi’s mansion. The final of the three episodes is back at school, where new freshman Arisa has got a crush on our heroine Rie. Rie starts to initiate Arisa into her sapphic sisterhood, when roommate Mari shows up and throws a hissy fit. Of course, Mari and Rie make up in the time-honored fashion. Later, Rie visits her old sempai and is rewarded with Arisa as a graduation present. This okazu is followed by a night with Naomi-sempai, while Midori gets sloppy seconds with Arisa. As Rie goes off into the sunset in Naomi’s limo, we can feel confident that Arisa will continue the pattern of high school lesbianism into the future.

Cream Lemon Escalataion gets an “A”.

Episode 4 of CL is a silly scifi/western fusion called “Pop Chaser.” The first half is strictly, predictably Yuri, while the second half is rather amusingly straight. It’s utterly without merit, but I liked it anyway. This one gets a “B+”.

Episode 8 was about a very strange and creepy lesbian sempai with psychic powers who hates guys, and ends with a extended straight sex scene as the hero and heroine’s love power redeem the campus. It pretty much sucked. “C”.

Episode 9 is a a Dirty Pair parody, but the characters are lovers. It was exactly the way it sounds – a Dirty Pair parody, where the characters are lovers. ^_^; It gets a “B”.

Episode 12 was one installation of a horrible mini-series called “Ikenai Mako-chan.” It seems to be about white trash Mako-chan, and her non-adventures in sex. Snooze. This particular episode has a creepy girl, and an inexplicable Yuri seduction. It was okay, no more. “C”.

Episode 14 was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen anywhere, with a two-minute filler Yuri scene. “D”. Even the wildly inappropriate use of Nazi symbolism failed to make an impact.

Episode 17 – Well, this one was weirder and funnier than any of the others, IMHO. Our heroine doesn’t like sex. The school doctor, (who is, predictably, gorgeous and inappropriately dressed) calls her in for counseling. The heroine tells her why she dislikes sex:

Her father left to sell things (from a pushcart) and her mother took a lover. Dad came home and found the two of them in bed and had a heart attack. Mom, the heroine and her brother moved into their grandfather’s house, with the lover. One day, when her mother wasn’t home, the lover raped her, the heroine, on the dining room table. Her brother witnessed it, got angry and drove off and got into a car accident, ending up in traction. The grandfather attempted to rape the mother, but died in the attempt. While the heroine was left at home, her mother’s lover raped her again, and this time, her brother joined, raping her with his crutch.

Maybe it’s just me, but I was absolutely hysterical at this explanation.

Anyway, to cure the heroine, the doctor makes her undress and masturbate in front of the art class…ultimately, she also blows one of her classmates, has sex with him and the whole class ends up in one gigantic orgy. Notably, though, all the girls are having sex with each other, while the guys fight for the doctor.

It wasn’t good, but it was interesting. For that, Episode 17 gets a “B+”.

Episode 25 – some Yuri action while a classmate gets gang raped. Uh-huh. Obviously, they end up in a threesome. Duh. “C”.

Episode 32 – A bad first-time experience forces our heroine to seek assistance from a classmate and her sempai. Threesome, followed by better straight sex the second try. “B”.

Episode 35 – some incidental maid action. I was pretty fried, so I think I missed one – this particular mini-series, Kuroneko something or other, had an earlier episode with more incidental maid and young girl stuff. I think I wiped it from my memory.

So, there you go – look for the Escalation series and Pop Chaser for something you can show your friends, the rest, watch alone when you’re overtired and easily amused. LOL

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And now, I’m outta here for a while – have a great month!





Weather Woman Anime and Manga

March 22nd, 2004

wwHow Low Can You Go?

Today I want to tell you about one of my all-time favorite series. Let me warn you first – this series is not for the faint of heart…it starts low and just keeps getting lower and lower and lower. In fact, that’s one of its great appeals; no matter how repulsive it gets, you just have to keep reading to see if it can get any *more* repulsive…and it always does. ^_^

Weather Woman/Weather Report Girl/Tenki Oneesama – Tetsu Adachi

The reason for so many titles is that each version of this, manga, anime, and live-action film have a different name. Isn’t that helpful?

The anime is cute – I’ve traumatized many a person by making them watch it. It’s a two-episode OVA that follows the manga pretty closely, so I’ll just talk about that. The live-action film is similar, but not the same – also not nearly as fun.

The first chapter of Tenki Oneesama introduces anti-heroine Nakadai Keiko. Never has manga seen a more sadistic, power-mad, conniving, shameless, scheming bitch on wheels. I love her. ^_^

Keiko’s dream is to be the star weather woman on television and she will do anything to accomplish that dream. She starts by putting super-strong laxative in the current weather woman’s lunch, causing her to, erm, have an accident, on television. Keiko steps in as the fill-in and immediately shakes up the station by flashing her underwear to the TV audience. Instantly, she’s a hit. Keiko makes the former weather reporter her personal slave, forcing Michiko to lick her underwear clean, and use her tongue to wipe the shaving cream from her body, among other, more evil, things.

When a new, very prim news announcer, Kaori, shows up, she thinks she can tame Keiko’s mad power trip. Their rivalry is hysterical – a bathing suit pulling fight in a public pool turns into a perfect synchronized swimming routine, for example – but after Keiko uses the recording devices in her own apartment to tape Michiko and Kaori having sex, Kaori becomes a reluctant ally.

To say that this story is insane is understating the case. A wrestling deathmatch between Keiko and policewoman “Hentai Hunter” Natsumi, becomes an evening of sex at a gentlemen’s club owned by….who else but everyone’s favorite weather woman! This arc also includes some serious Yuri goings on between Natsumi and her assistant Ritsuko. About time, too.

Sadly, the manga kind of just…ends. Keiko turns to us and says its been fun, but she’s got to go. Worst of all, she gets married to the yutzy guy in the story. But between the repulsive beginning and the inadequate ending, there’s a ton of Yuri and Yuri innuendo and just wacky and head-shakingly freaky chapters. I strongly recommend this manga if you like the horrible and unremittingly tacky, or you’re a bottom-feeding perv. Either way, you’ll love Weather Woman. If you like romance and sweetness, and things like scat, panties, sexual perversion, and emotional sadism bother you – stay as far away as possible from this series. ^_^;

The first volume of the manga is available in English, and the anime and live-action film, both have licensed subtitled versions. Links to these can be found at the top of this entry.

But if you read Japanese, or like looking at pervy Yuri pictures, Vol. 7 of the manga is the one you want.





Yuri Anime: Stainless Night, Parade Parade

March 19th, 2004

purpleGirls With Something Extra

Today we’re gonna talk about a coupla Newhalf anime. This may not be considered by some people to be *real* Yuri, and I understand why…but bear with me and let me see if I can convince you of my position. ;-)

To start with, futanari is the Japanese term for what we tend to call “dick girls” or “she-males,” i.e., characters with breasts that look, act and sound like girls, but happen to have male genitalia. (As opposed to transgender people, which is a completely different thing.) These stories are targeted to a male audience, and almost always involve the futanari girl getting it on with a “real” girl. This is because the original target audience for these stories were adult men who cross-dressed and thus the futanari embodies what they wanted to be seen as – completely feminine, with that little something extra. Since these guys are almost always straight, none of them want to see the girl having sex with a guy (ewwww), so that’s why there are mostly Yuri futanari stories out there.

Nowadays, I think the genre has split a little – there are characters which are fairly obviously meant to be girls with penises, and characters that are guys who have breasts. (I’ll talk about these later….) If you’re not diehard anti-cock, there are a few fairly decent Yuri hentai out there. Let’s look at two:

Parade Parade

This two-episode OVA is not high art, if you know what I mean. (Nor is it High Art, if you know what I mean! ^_^ Sorry…little lesbian movie joke there….) It tells the sex-filled story of Kaori, a rising pop idol who’s female manager is madly, and quite passionately, in love with her. But Kaori has a secret…duh. The end of the first episode brings the arrival of Kaori’s manager’s old lover, (a typical anime-style S&M ojou-sama and her slave,) who challenge Kaori and her manager to a sex duel. Hilarity ensues.

Whether or not you think that Kaori is a girl or not, the other characters are *definitely* female, so this is almost completely Yuri, even discounting Kaori, which I don’t. I think she’s a girl. With a dick. So, IMHO…this is 100% Yuri and really, its kinda cute and silly and sweet. As Yuri hentai goes, it’s harmless fun and not disgusting or dismissive, as so many are.

Stainless Night

This is a sort of scifi Yuri thing. Android Linnea (Linear) is awakened from a long stasis to find herself revived by a team of female scientists. She and one of the scientists fall in love, have sex, and are attacked by Linnea’s evil nemesis robot (the usual cheesy S&M-style evil kind). In the end, Linnea determines to learn more about herself, but she’ll come back, she promises!

I can’t even really consider Linnea a futanari, because she’s not human at all and she only develops the extra body part in the throes of ecstasy….it’s all very tastefully done.

Most importantly, the story isn’t awful, the sex is quite nice and all in all, one of the best Yuri anime I own. If the thingy between Linnea’s legs bugs you, then probably you shouldn’t watch Yuri hentai much, since this is pretty tame by hentai standards.

Just in case you care about this kind of thing – both of these stories have no guys, no tentacles, minimal bodily fluids by comparison, and no seriously violent rape. They both focus on “nice” as the main relationship factor and actually have love somewhere in there. Sort of in the “awwwww” category for hentai. ^_^

Both these are legitimately licensed anime, owned and distro’ed by Media Blasters, so do make sure you purchase these, as opposed to engaging in illegal downloads. Or, rent if you prefer – several of the online DVD rental companies have hentai anime available.

One last note about futnari. Earlier on, I mentioned that there *were* stories with guys who have breasts, as opposed to the above, here’s two quickie examples:

Chimera – The manga for this has a “Yuri” scene between the main character and a woman (who is obviously a lesbian, as she has about three female servants draped over her, naked.) Chimera, however, despite “her” ability to pass and function as a woman is really a guy…a guy who looks really nice in women’s underwear. The anime is a hoot, too, but sans the Yuri. The story is suposed to be about Chimera’s deadly assassination skills and her quest for revenge, but it’s mostly about her dressing in women’s underwear. I loved it for its utter cheesiness.

Purple – This is a completely obscure manga I discovered in Japan, but didn’t buy, then obsessed over for months, until I found here at a used manga store. It’s about a boy who falls in love with a girl who transfers into his class. She’s *very* forward with him, and basically seduces him on the roof, only….she’s a guy. And very openly so. She has breasts, but she’s got a penis too. He freaks out, but can’t get her out of his head. In the meantime, a lesbian in the school falls for her, and *they* start dating. The heroine tries to sleep with the lesbian, but *she* freaks about the penis, too. Poor heroine…no one loves her penis. In a wonderful scene, the hero just…gives in. He really does. It was so sweet – he just decides that he loves her and wants her too much to let something like this get in the way. So he sleeps with her, which is good, because up to that point he’d become a raving asshole, who kept just-about-raping a girl who liked him in order to prove he was a “real” man – did I mention he’s horribly conflicted because he sleeps with his mother? Ultimately, the heroine goes off to have a sex change, and ends up living with both the hero, and the lesbian in a strange, but happy love triangle. I really liked this story, and for the life of me, I have no idea why. ^_^ If you like a challenge, grab up a copy of Purple and let me know what you think!





Tokio Private Police Anime

March 15th, 2004

I spent some time this weekend watching about half of the *very* old hentai series Cream Lemon (which is one of the possible origins for the use of the word “lemon” to represent explicit sexual content in a story, btw). I can’t say I was disappointed, because my expectations for Yuri hentai are very low. Some of it almost approached being decent, but not without tradeoffs. I watched these raw, because who cares what they are saying? ;-)

Let me indulge in a short rant about hentai…it sucks. Like live-action porn, it focuses on the least sexiest aspects of sex for extended periods of time. What is it about sex that makes it so impossible to show without making it ridiculous and dull? Perhaps, because it is, at its core, ridiculous and dull? I don’t know…all I know is, that a truly *good* Yuri hentai has yet to be made. There are certainly decent enough scenes here and there and every once in a blue moon, an anime that doesn’t utterly bite…but these are few and far between.

Okay, I’m done ranting. I guess I’ll talk a little about some of the Yuri hentai I’ve watched over time and let you know about some of the gold nuggets I’ve managed to find. And when I’m done watching all of the Cream Lemon series, I’ll even devote a whole entry to the good bits. ^_^

Let’s start today off with the best of the bunch –

Tokio Private Police – 1998

This isn’t just the best Yuri hentai I’ve seen…it’s the best hentai all the way around, period. Right off the bat, it’s a very well-executed parody of Patlabor, an excellent series in its own right. It manages to keep the essential humanity that makes Patlabor so notable, as well as having a sense of humor and an actual plot, go figure.

TPP does have one non-consensual sex scene right in the beginning, but is otherwise filled with more consensual sex than most hentai – and pretty much everyone appears to be enjoying themselves…something that’s all too rare in hentai.

The Yuri scene is relegated to the typical position of okazu, that is…an appetizer, not the main event, but it’s really an exceptionally well done scene. Not only are the women definitely, positively adults, but they sex seems realistic and their bodies, do, as well. No hermaphroditic transformations, no tentacles, no bondage…just really decent sex between two women who look like women. I’ve come to believe that the former are just easier to animate than the latter, hence their proliferation. But on the whole, I’d rather see people going at it and having a hell of a lot of fun than stupid, unrealistic plot complications.

When the “main event” does happen, its no different – we get to see two human adults having good sex. IMHO, this is a refreshing and long overdue concept in hentai.

So, whether you’re in it just for the Yuri, or straight sex appeals, I definitely have to give Tokio Private Police a thumbs up. This *has* been released officially, so get TPP on DVD. It’s definitely worth the money, especially if you’re a Patlabor fan! ^_^