When I see a book with illustrations by Kurogane Kenn, my first thought is, “Oh, this is going to be great, I can tell.” I’m willing to bet that my tone of voice is not the same as many of yours would be if you were to say that. ^_^;

And so I did say, when I first came across 394,408km ~ Anata ni Sarattara, a light novel written by Kousaka Hio and illustrated by Kenn.

The novel primarily follows the singular obsession of Miyuki for classmate Rise. Miyuki is an honor student, ojou-sama type, but in reality, her family is not rich and she is not able to follow Rise to an elite school after elementary school. But that doesn’t stop her from obsessing about her. For eight years.

When Miyu’s father suddenly hits the lottery, her first and only concern is to get into the same elite school that Rise attends. With her excellent grades, it’s no problem at all. At last, Miyuki can be reunited with her beloved Rise who, by the way, has no idea at all that Miyuki feels this way. Miyuki had asked Rise to be hers, back in 1st grade and is now determined to realize that dream.

On the way to meet Rise, whose class is inexplicably on the floor above her own, Miyu runs into the “Silver Witch,” green-eyed Mikado Maria. Maria smells the scent of lilies about Miyuki, and invites her to join her “Romantic Love Study Group.” After an odd, lukewarm reunion with Rise, Miyu is approached by the president of the Morals Committee, who recruits her to join the Romantic Love Study Group in order to infiltrate and get the dirt on their repulsive, filthy behavior. Immediately, Miyu can see that the President has some feelings for Maria, but whatever. Since Rise’s a member, she’ll do it.

The first day in the RLSG is not easy. Witch Maria plays with people like toys and it’s immediately obvious that the group follows her whim. She makes Rise and Miyuki flirt for them all, and they end with a kiss. Frustrated that it is merely a kiss between friends, Miyuki walks away from the group.

After witnessing Maria and Rise doing more than just kiss, Miyuki challenges Maria to a duel to win Rise. Maria calls for the match to be strip poker, which Miyu loses, but in the end she does gain Rise.

The rest of the book is them having sex. Sometimes from one perspective, sometimes from the other.

Ratings:

Art – 7
Story – 6
Character – 6
Yuri – 10
Service – 10

Overall – 7

The title, by the way, is the distance between the Moon, of which Miyuki has always fancied herself the Queen, and the Earth, which of course is Rise (her name even contains the character for Earth.) But I think Sean Gaffney said it best when he asked if that was the distance between this book and literature. ^_^

Upon reading the back cover of the Light Novel Amagami Emmenthal (あまがみエメンタール), I commented to the wife, “You gotta figure that any story in which the clothing gets credit as a cast member is definitely gonna be *great.*” (I was being sarcastic, in case that doesn’t come across well in text.) In the end, the clothes actually *were* a member of the cast, and I could sort of see it being justifiable. But I’m starting with the end, so let me move backwards to the beginning.

At Seiran Private Girls School, Kokone and Riko are classmates, roommates and, apparently, soulmates. But their relationship is far darker than that. Riko is a vampire and Kokone is her source of blood. On the other side, the continued pain and scars from Riko’s feeding over the years has turned Koko-chan into a masochist, who fetishizes the wounds Riko causes.

The story begins with them in middle school then, much like this review, backs up into their first meeting in first grade, then follows them through the years to high school. Most of that time is spent watching Kokone become a first-class fetishist. (Also bitching about how the name of her class is “Bamboo.” The rest of the classes are Rose, Chrysanthemum, the usual, and they’re in Bamboo. Rose gets the nice elite rooms – you can bet that Bamboo class gets economy class apartments.)

Riko’s Goth-Loli clothes are not just an indicator of her “otherness.” She is, in fact, the daughter of a famous Goth-Loli clothing designer. A designer that appears to us to be doing everything she can to keep her daughter out of the house. Kokoke avoids going home because she hates her stepmother and resents her father for dumping her in this school.

Koko and Riko are an odd, but not unsuited couple. If the story didn’t linger in quasi-sexual imagery while they were still young it would be more palatable, but that is the story – the quasi-awakening of Kokone’s quasi-sexual interest in Riko, who is only quasi-normal.

The climax, when it comes, is not nearly as shocking as it might be. We are meant to think that Riko’s mother is working hard and that suddenly, she is exiled to Europe with no message to Riko, while her younger sister takes over the business. But, it is ridiculously obvious that the truth is far more simple – and it was the clothes that were the clue. I won’t give away the riveting truth. You might *want* to read this book.

When Kokone reveals the truth to Riko, the Goth-Loli vampire nearly kills Kokone in her pain. But don’t worry – everyone lives happily ever after in this novel. And no schoolgirls were harmed in the making of this book.

It was weird. Even for a vampire novel, it was sappy and purple and salacious. And the Sadomasochism thing rang really weirdly with the whole private schoolgirl setting, but oddly worked better than I would have expected. The biggest bad was Riko being portrayed at such infantile extremes. Had she been a cool, adult, sexy vampire, the story would have worked fine for me. Instead, she acts and speaks throughout as if she is six years old, which just made me want to spike her through the heart.

Oh – why is Riko a vampire? No clue. She just is a human who needs blood. Period. Stop asking questions – you’ll only be disappointed.

Ratings:

Art – lascivious and infantilizing, just the way you moe fans like
Story – See above
Characters – Once more for good measure
Yuri – 6
Service – Googleplex

Overall – 6

Yes, in the end Riko and Kokone love one another. Another couple that I heartily approve of their relationship, so as not to inflict them on anyone else ever. ^_^

If Strawberry Panic didn’t exist we’d have to invent it. More importantly, now that it does, Ichijinsha had to re-invent it. And so they do in Shiritsu Katorea Gakuen: Otome ha Hana ni Koi wo Suru ( 私立カトレア学園 乙女は花に恋をする) in which cute, energetic outsider Hina meets, falls in love with and ultimately gets together with the Prince of the school.

In the typical fannish version of “Story A,” the cute, clueless, clumsy, energetic outsider comes into a old, tradition-steeped private school for girls and bumbles around like a moron. For some reason this behavior is considered cute, and the star of the school is captivated by this. In a series of service-y almost-kisses, the characters torture themselves by not actually getting together and in the end share a chaste kiss – if we’re lucky.

In this version Hina, the cute, energetic outsider, makes it into the elite St. Cattelya school. (Catellya is a kind of orchid.) Hina does run around the school lost in the first scene, but after that, she ceases to be (un-)charmingly clueless. Luckily for Hina, two absolutely gorgeous upperclassmen find and rescue her.

Hina, feeling a little alone as all the girls around her are chitchatting, is befriended by the class rep and all-around best friend material, Ayaka. Unlike so many best friends in Yuri, in this “fixed” rendition, Ayaka harbors no designs upon Hina’s body and actually explains things to Hina when she asks about them. For her part, Hina is no doofus – she’s asking questions about the kind of things that they wouldn’t cover in the school handbook.

Of these things, the most important is the specific tradition of this school – the roles of Prince and Miss Cattelya who dance the first, very public, waltz at the school’s Cattleya festival.

This year’s Prince is none other than one of the two upperclassman who helped Hina when she was lost, The Ice Prince, Tsubasa. The other upperclassman is Tsubasa’s childhood friend and former Miss Cattleya, Suzune.

Ayaka and Hina, after a nighttime visit to Suzune and Tsubasa’s room to get a cup of chamomile tea to calm a lonely and slightly homesick Hina’s nerves, become friendly with the older girls. The four eat lunch together and often enjoy tea and cake together in the upperclassmen’s room. Tsubasa quickly falls for Hina, so it is no surprise to us that, when the time comes, she asks Hina to be her Miss Cattelya.

And this is where this version of the story really starts to work. In other versions, the tests that the prospective Miss Cattleya would endure are, to say the least, stupid. Instead of horseback chases and other nonsense, Hina’s challenge comes in the form of a scavenger hunt to find the brooch that Tsubasa had given her as a token of her candidacy for the position. While she was in phys. ed. class, the Student Council stole the brooch and left in its place a clue. It’s sort of silly, really – nothing horribly dangerous and it takes all four principals to figure out the clues. It wasn’t the greatest story ever told, but compared to other versions of the same story, it was genius.

When Hina and Ayaka first meet, and find that they are roommates, Ayaka offers one more piece of advice that would not be covered in the school handbook. It is not uncommon, she tells Hina, for students here to become involved with each other in romantic relationships – even to the point of becoming lovers. Hina is not repulsed, and reflects upon her own traumatic experience with a boy she was seeing. Hina comes to the conclusion that while she herself sees no appeal in falling for another girl, it would be a kind of relief. And then she starts to get to know Tsubasa. Suddenly, the appeal of falling for another girl becomes moot in the wake of her falling for another girl.

Tsubasa is both physically and emotionally affectionate to Hina. Her teasing is gentle, good-natured and normal. Hina finds herself wanting, very much, to become closer to Tsubasa-sempai. After the climactic race to reclaim the amethyst brooch, just as the clock counts down, Tsubasa – in full view of the school – gathers Hina into her arms and kisses her.

Hina accepts the position of Miss Cattleya and runs off to cry. She fears that her feelings, which have quite overtaken her, are not truly returned. But it is a momentary fear, as Tsubasa and she make clear their feelings for each other and kiss – more than once – in the moonlight.

Two months pass and, we are assured by the narrator, that Hina and Tsubasa have indeed moved past kissing into full-fledged snogging and petting. They are together every day practicing for the big dance but, after each lesson for the last few days, Tsubasa runs off without a word. Ayaka and Suzune seem to know where she is going, but won’t tell Hina. A few incidental loose ends are tied up in this section as we learn that Hina has met, likes and is liked by Tsubasa’s family.

The big day comes and it turns out that the big secret was that Tsubasa was running off to make a ring for Hina, which she puts on Hina’s left ring finger in front of a happily approving Suzune and Ayaka. The wedding motif continues as Hina, dressed like a princess and Tsubasa, dressed like Lady Oscar from Rose of Versailles dance that waltz. Just before the end of the dance, Tsubasa whips out the sword she wears, swears her love for Hina in front of the school, the guests, and all their female relatives. Hina responds beautifully and this is greeted with raucous applause and approval from all parties.

After the dance, Hina’s mother meets and is wowed by Tsubasa. Mom would like to be wooed a little by her too, but Hina insists that she won’t let her mother have the chance – unless she agrees that Hina can marry Tsubasa if she wants to in the future. Mom agrees. Ultimately Mom is introduced to Tsubasa’s mother and they get along famously.

One of the silliest touches in the book is that Tsubasa, who is *repeatedly* stated to have a big chest, explains to Hina that she strapped it down with traditional bandages and the tight jacket. :-)

The story ends with them looking at “happily ever after” like it might actually be possible.

The story was not perfect. There was an inexplicable obsession on the current two most popular tedious fetishes, underwear and that absurd and infantile fascination with girls needing to go to the bathroom very badly. These so could have been taken out of the story and nothing would have been lost by it. But it seems that a story without mentioning one or both of these fetishes is simply not possible in Japan these days.

Other than this, the biggest element of fantasy was the total lack of homophobia and self-loathing in any of the characters. But, as I said to the wife – it’s all right, we’re allowed to just have a nice story with “happily ever after” sometimes.

Art – 3 Weakest part of the book are the pictures
Story – Starts off at 6, but ends at 8
Characters – Same as above
Yuri – 8
Service – 5

Overall – 8

Otome broke no new ground, really, but what it did was retell and replant the soil for a slightly less seedy variety of flower to grow. It has two girls who fall in love, who kiss – make out even – and in the end, everyone thinks it’s just fine and dandy that the dashing Girl Prince gets her cute Girl Princess. And you know – that was just fine by me, too.

And, oh! oh! oh! I can’t forget to tell you – the drinking game for this novel is to drink every time Hina blushes. Guaranteed drunk by chapter three.