I thought I’d end “live-action” week with one of my all-time favorite cheesy movies. Note the two different covers above. The one on the left is the original, the one on the right must be new packaging…but it doesn’t change the fact that this movie is cheeseball heaven. Here’s the original tagline for the movie: “There Are Two Things On Their Minds… One’s Killing!” ^_^

Naked Killer is the story of Kitty, a young woman whose father is brutally and quite stupdily killed, when his new, young, sexy wife is caught having an affair with a local studly, powerful businessman. Kitty walks into the guy’s office and shoots his henchmen up, but is caught and is about to be raped when mysterious “Sister Cindy” saves her, with some hysterically funny mad martial skillz.

It turns out that Sister Cindy is actually a professional assassin – she offers to teach Kitty everything she knows, but Kitty must follow her instructions without question. Thus Kitty embarks upon a very luxurious and successful life as a high-end assassin.

In the meantime, two people are trying to track Kitty down: A hunky detective, Tinam, with post-traumatic stress disorder that makes him unable to shoot a gun (he vomits every time he tries, which is actually alot funnier than it sounds) and Princess, Sister Cindy’s former protege’. Tinam, played by Simon Yam, is really wonderful and funny (intentionally.) He and Kitty actually make a cute couple.

But the real prize for yuri fans here is Princess, the psychotic lesbian ex-student. She is absolutely *brilliant*. Played by Carrie Ng with an over-the-top swaggering, cigar-smoking, dominatrix attitude, she comes complete with love-slave, “Baby.” They never have any real sex on screen, but there’s a lot of groping, which is okay too. Despite all of the above, Princess is as femmy as all get out, with a sort of faux-butch thing in her attire which actually is pretty hot. ^_^

It comes to a showdown, of course, between Kitty and Princess, and I won’t give away the end, but it’s spectacular. And here’s why:

One of the absolute finest thing about this movie is the horrendous subtitling job. In fact, this movie is famous for insanely bad subtitles, which add serious points to the amusing cheesy value. Lines like, “You almost shot one of my balls off!” and the greatest line ever to be written into any movie – “I still have time to take the gastric lavage.” These lines really catapult this movie from funny cheesy into brilliant, timeless kitsch.

The lesbian scenes between Sister Cindy and Kitty and *everything* about Princess really helps, too. ^_^

Ratings:

Story – Please, you have got to be kidding
Characters – 9
Cinematography – ??
Martial Arts – hee hee
Yuri – 9

Overall, this movie gets a 9, because it is so wonderfully awful.

This movie is an kitsch/Yuri/Hong Kong fan flick must-see.

Important Note: Avoid the not-really sequel, “Naked Weapon” like the plague it is. There’s a *teeny* bit of Yuri subtext, but the “hero” is the biggest nebbish ever and it’s insulting that the lead heroine sleeps with him…even drugged as she was.)

Sennen no Koi: Hikaru Genji Monogatari, (A Thousand Years of Love: The Tale of Genji,) pretty much came and went without anyone noticing it much. Which is a real shame, because as far as gender-bending and yuri go, this movie kind of rolls it all into one neat silly little fun package.

The novel, The Tale of Genji, written by Murasaki Shikibu, is the oldest written tale in the world of a pretty boy and his clothes. The novel portrays his romantic pursuits over the course of his life in amazing, and to my mind, excruciating, detail. lol (There’s just something overwhelming about page after page that describe individual layers of robes, and scents from incense-smelling games.) Not only is it the first novel to be written, period, and by a woman at that, but it’s also the first shoujo novel, which means you can bet that Murasaki is to blame for the flowers and bubble-filled backgrounds of so many shoujo stories throughout the years.

The movie Sennen no Koi is in no way a literal interpretation of the Tale of Genji. It’s liberally sprinkled with the addition of action, plot, special effects, and, uh, ghosts. And gender-bending. Because, you see, the original novel is the story of a pretty boy pursuing women. But Sennen no Koi is a movie of a pretty boy, played by a lovely young woman, pursuing women. ^_^

Aside from the cosmetic change of Amami Yuki’s (very pleasant to look at) portrayal of Genji, a second story is interwoven into Sennen no Koi. This is the (also freely interpreted) life of the author Murasaki Shikibu, and her adventures at court. These seem to be drawn almost whole from the novel Tale of Murasaki by Liza Dalby, so it was pretty easy for me to follow. From my perspective, the movie includes an awful lot of affection between Murasaki and her royal charge, the Princess to whom she is telling Genji’s story. So, if you *really* wanted to, you could make a whole subtexty thing between them, as well. The role of Murasaki is absolutely *nailed* by Yoshinaga Sayuri – she might have been drawn directly from some painting of Murasaki…everything about her was exactly as I’d imagine it to be.

As I mentioned, there is a lot more action and s/fx than Murasaki ever dreamed Genji would have to deal with, but as loose interpretations of great classics go, this one was pretty fun. And Yuki could write me morning poems any day… ;-)

One amusing yuri manga tie-in here. One of the supporting cast of Sennen no Koi is Minamoto Youko, who, waaaay back in 1987, played Asamiya Saki, the heroine of Shinji Wada’s girl-gang epic Sukeban Deka on TV.

Ratings:

Story – 8, it’s fun and easy to follow even raw.
Characters – 10. I mean, these characters are timeless….
Cinematography – 8

Overall – 8.

It’s not as slow as the real Genji and not as real as Murasaki’s life, but the movie, and Yuki as Genji, was cute. ^_^

This movie is not new…in fact, I remember showing it at the Yuricon party at Anime Expo 2002. So, it’s been around for some time. But as I’ve never reviewed it here before, I thought it might be of interest. Before I even begin to talk about the movie, let me tell you the story of how we found it:

I, the wife, and friend and Yuricon staffer, Kun, were walking along the street in New York’s Chinatown one winter night. We were passing all sorts of video places, not really paying attention, when we all came to a crashing halt at the same time. We took five paces back and stared with open desire at the color poster of some really hot chick in a tux looking very ready to kiss another woman. So, we popped into the video store and asked for a copy of whatever that poster was for – not really even caring what it was. ^_^ The owner told us that it was sold out. Sold out? We wandered to another store – same deal. At store number three we learned that it was like the number one import at the moment, so no wonder! And we *finally* got our own copy of Peony Pavilion.

Let me honest here – we had NO expectations for this movie. We didn’t think it would be really Yuri at all, in fact, we were content with the postcards that came inside of Joey Wang looking hunky in a tux. But when we finally got the disk in the player, we were totally wowed.

Of course, nothing ever happens between the women in this movie – it’s all long glances and open, yet unfulfilled, desire, etc. etc. But it doesn’t matter. Joey Wong (who came out of retirement to play this role) and Rie Miyazawa absolutely curl the edges of the film with their heat in the first half of the film.

The first half sets the scene in an affluent Chinese household of the 1930s. While the master of the house loses himself in bad business deals and opium, his wives are left to fend for themselves. Joey Wong plays a singer who tends towards cross-dressing in men’s clothes (and does it *very* well indeed!) Rie Miyazawa is the youngest wife, for whom Wong has an open passion. The two of them play around the edges of their desire for one another, while life seems glorious and carefree. But underneath the play, there’s a dark undertone of rot, which sets in quickly enough after Miyazawa’s character sleeps with a young traveling performer.

The second half of the movie begins with such an abrupt change of setting, tone and sensibility, we actually questioned whether it was the same movie at all.

Wong turns out to be a lonely spinster teacher. Into her life comes an (admittedly attractive) inspector, played by Daniel Wu. With her longing for her friend unfulfilled, she turns to Wu as a replacement and again, the heat between them is very intense. In the meantime, her cousin’s household is starting to crash – as if she were a piece of furniture, Miyazawa and the daughter she has conceived with the entertainer, are thrown out as unneeded, unwanted and unsupportable.

She comes to live with Wong, where they settle into a life of domesticated bliss. The child is remarkably not irritating – which is a wonder, since film children are always too cute and clever for their own good.

Because this is a Chinese movie, there’s really no way for it to have a happy happy ending. BUT…as it’s not 100% positive that Miyazawa’s character is dead at the end, and Wong is still alive, this wins as the happiest Chinese movie I’ve ever seen. ^_^

So – in one sense the girl gets the girl, but in several other ways, she does not. Balance that against Joey Wong in a tux, and this movie still wins points with me as a must-see.

Ratings:
Story – 7 It’s a little inconsistent.
Cinematography – 10 Absolutely breathtaking.
Characters – 9
Yuri – 8

Overall – 8

Peony Pavilion is definitely a “chick movie”. Boys will be bored out of their skulls, but girls will sigh with longing…a GREAT date movie. ^_^

You’ll all be glad to note that I am recovering from whatever it was that I had, and am currently convalescing on my new patio furniture, on my new patio. I love wireless.

I thought I’d detour away from anime and manga for a sec, because there’s a couple of live-action movies that are seriously worthy of note for the Yuri fan. Today’s offering is called in English, So Close. This is pretty much one of the best HK action flicks I’ve ever see. Period.

The story is pretty simple, hard-boiled uber-smart cop, played by Karen Mok, is on the trail of two cyber-criminal sisters, played by Shu Qi and Zhao Wei (Vicky Zhao.) The sisters are as strong in kung-fu and fashion as they are in hacking, and they have an ace up their sleeve – they can use any closed-circuit tv anywhere to see what’s going on. With this, and their own skills, they can pretty much take on anything. Until they come up against a mega-conglomerate and the evil Japan-obsessed leader.

I liked the action and the special effects in the movie – very John Woo and silly, but what made the movie sizzle for me was the heat between Vicky Zhao’s portrayal of Sue, the younger sister, and Karen Mok’s hard-assed cop, Kung. Right from the start there’s something in the way Sue looks at Kung that made me shiver – in a good way. ^_^

When Kung and Sue team up during the second half of the movie, there’s so much tension between them that Sue even comments on it, asking Kung, if things were different, would she be interested. Kung doesn’t answer, but there’s no doubt that she’s seriously thinking it over.

In the end, the good guys win, the bad guys die, and Sue gives Kung a farewell peck. It’s not the hot sex scene epilogue I would have written, but it was damn good. ^_^

The script is as good as any action flick’s, and a damn sight better than many. The Special/fx were all pretty well done, with one exception, and the acting is really top-notch. The Region 1 release of this has about a zillion language and subtitle options, but I opted to watch it in the original language with English subtitles…how dull. I probably could have had the Zambionese dub with Esperanto subtitles.

Ratings:
Story – 8
Characters – 9
Plot – 8
Yuri – 8

Overall a solid 8

If you like HK action and Yuri, really, this is a must-have.