Hayate x Blade Ultra Drama CD Sanban Hoshi! Hyuuryuu Tsumeawase (はやて×ブレード ウルトラドラマCD さんばん星！ 漂流つめあわせ) broke my head. Just seconds ago, I could feel it go “pop.” I’m pretty sure steam came out of my ears, too.

As with the first two of these Drama CDs, the 3rd of the series follows three shinyuu couples as they do utterly ridiculous things in the utterly ridiculous, mutually exclusive ecosystems that surround Tenchi Gakuen. We already know from the manga that there is a mountain behind the school (from Volume 11 and Volume 12.) We also know from the first of this Drama CD series, that that there is a jungle wilderness, and so, it should really come as no surprise that there is a beach as well. As the title translates to something like “An Assortment of Drifting” it should also not be too surprising that this CD follows our principles as they wander around these ecosystems aimlessly.

Hitsugi and Shizuku (and Tatewaki) go to the beach, where Hitsugi tortures Shizuku by crafting nefearious plans and tortures Tatewaki by torturing Tatewaki.

We are then allowed to enjoy an extended visit with Sid and Nancy that begins propitiously with Sid composing a little ditty about being hungry and ends up with her unpropitiously being eaten by a giant snake. (Clearly our Yuri military force needs Giant Snakes. We’ve had them in many of our best series!) Sid worries that Nancy will leave her, but when Nancy rescues her from being eaten, she realizes that she will never get that kind of fun with anyone else.

Next up, Akira and Sae. Is there a more typical couple in all of Tenchi? Akira’s butchy grumpiness, Sae’s complete unconcern for anything except having a little fun at Akira’s expense and her ineffable cheerfulness in the face of hardship, like being stranded on a desert island….and even a very little Yuri-service for the Akira x Sae fans out there. Very little.

And in the end it was all one of Hitsugi’s nefarious plots. ^_^ But that wasn’t what broke my brain.

What broke my brain was the very final seconds of the CD as Tatewaki does her rendition of being the phone clock. You remember that, don’t you? From the days before cell phones? You’d call the number and a woman’s voice would say, “When the tone sounds it will be Eleven-thirty and 45 seconds in the morning,” then the tone sounds. Then she’d say, “When the tone sounds it will be Eleven-thirty and 50 seconds in the morning,” and it would repeat endlessly all day. Well, you haven’t heard it done right until you’ve heard it done by Tatewaki. /pop!/ ~(^_^)~

There is a mini-comic that, if I were to live in Japan I could get by order from from this CD, but since my chances of getting here are small, so I won’t be able to review it. If anyone does nab a copy, let me know how it is!

Ratings:

Overall – 9 just for Sid singing about how hungry she is. And Giant Snakes.

Not too long ago I said on Twitter than I consider Hayashiya-sensei to be the best story teller in manga. I stand by that. She loves her characters, that’s obvious. And as a result, I love them too. ^_^

Hayate x Blade, Volume 14 should hit the shelves any day now…I cannot wait to review it. I have been planning this review for *months!* (^_^)v

We’ve arrived at the 2nd of the new Hayate x Blade Drama CDs, Hayate x Blade Ultra Drama CD Niban Hoshi! Tokkuntsumeawase! (はやて×ブレード ウルトラドラマCD にばん星！ 特訓つめあわせ！)

Like the first of the series, this second Drama CD contains 4 short, funny, occasionally touching vignettes, following one of three shinyuu pairs at Tenchi.

Tokkun is “special training” and, as the title implies, each scenario is centered around some idiotic thing for which a character needs “special training.”

In the first scenario, Momoka comes across Isuzu practicing jumping over the tobibako, the vaulting horse commonly used in Japanese schools as a part of their physical education curriculum. Isuzu tries to get by on Momoka’s “guts” training, but does way better when Michi comes along and teachers her the right technique.

Michi then wanders over to her own shinyuu, Otoha, who is having a crisis. She is, apparently, an ojou-chan who, despite her promise to learn to cook, has never really bothered. With her parents arrival imminent, Michi tries to coach her into being able to make the world’s best meat and potato dish. Now that Michi has suddenly become awesome, she’s really pulled out the stops. Otoha does managed to cobble something edible together, but her parents change their plans and never get to experience it.

The third scenario will make absolutely no sense if you’re not completely caught up on the manga. After her defeat En-Suu has shifted her focus away from kicking ass to…eating. She obsesses about fish, specifically. In this vignette, En-Suu importunes Meiko to help her get better at Japanese. Mei, annoyed at being interrupted while reading tells En-Suu to go figure it out for herself. Which she does. A teacher asks where her cousin has gone, but Meiko doesn’t, honestly know. After weeks, En-Suu returns suddenly. Apparently while she was out looking for practice, she got a job at a sushi shop and now speaks fluent fish with a thick “old guy shopkeeper” accent. This all has to be heard to be believed. ^_^

The final scenario is a revisit of all of the players in various little dribs and drabs.

Once again, not something you’re gonna grab if you’re not already besotted, but if you are – hurry up and grab it while it’s hot.

Ratings:

Overall – 8

The third of the Ultra Drama CDs is already available and features Sid and Nancy, Hitsugi and Shizuku and Akira and Sae. If you are a Hayate x Blade fan and do not get the third Drama CD, I’m revoking your fan club membership. ^_^

If you bought the deluxe version of Volume 13 of Hayate x Blade, you received a Mini-Drama CD. As with most of the other HxB Mini Drama CDs, this one has a pervasive feel of fourth wall destruction and chaos.

Hitsugi has once again decided to record a Drama CD and to that end, she has gathered together the main characters of the story so she can inform them of her decision. This gives an opportunity to become reacquainted with the character’s voices – and to acclimate to the new voices in the cast, most notably Ensuu, Mei, Sid and Nancy. In all honesty, this CD could have ended after Sid and Nancy are introduced and I would have been happy, but no…Hitsugi has a much, much more diabolical plan, erm, planned.

For it is Tatewaki Hikaru who is called upon to step to the front and upon whose broad shoulders Hitsugi-sama places the important task of writing the script for the next Drama CD! Which is to say, she leaves Tatewaki alone in a room with some crackers and tea and a computer and tells her to clean up when she’s done.

And this, my friends, is the most amazing thing ever. Asano Mayumi has forever changed my impression of both Tatewaki and voice acting in general. The next scene, as Tatewaki bemoans her fate, mutters crazily to herself and chortles – not just chortles, but does the BEST CHORTLE EVER – alongside of dialogue recitation as she types, I considered myself schooled in the ways of voice acting by a Master.

The next scenes are a series of odd couple pairings, presumably in the scenes Tatewaki was composing. The wrap-up allows Hitsugi to be mean to her once more.

Then came the Bonus Track. Apparently I was not the only one impressed by Asano-san. The theme was “what character would you like to be,” and without hesitation several of the actresses stated that they wanted to be Asano Mayumi – to which I replied, “Agreed!” This despite the refrain from everyone else pointing out that Asano-san was not, in fact a character, but a real person.

Ratings:

Overall – 9

All I know is that the star of this Mini Drama CD was Asano Mayumi-san. The manga is totally worth getting – this CD is worth moving both heaven and earth to get.