As a bonus in the Ikkitousen Xtreme Xecutor set, is a post-series OVA called Shugaku Toshi Keppu-roku. And, even with the absurd service one must expect from an Ikkitousen series, this comes very close to being a really decent story.

The three kingdoms, erm, schools; Nanyou, headed by Hakufu, Seito headed by Ryuubi and Koucho, headed by Sousou, are coincidentally headed to Kyoto at the same time. They are going, or so we are told, to collect tsuba that hold spiritual energy. (Tsuba are the hand guards on Japanese swords.)

The schools clash early on as they search, not only for individually powered tsuba, but for the master tsuba which commands them all. The first big clash is between Shimei Ryomou and Shiryuu Chouun to the bgm of Heart & Soul, the Ikkitousen: Dragon Destiny OP, sung by Kariyuki Mai. It’s a good song and a good fight. Stuff like this makes this utter crap worth watching

But the featured fight is between Kan’u Unchou, champion of Seito and Sonsaku Hakufu, the idiot leader of Nanyo. The background music is  my favorite of all the Ikkitousen OPs, No x Limit  from Ikkitousen: Great Guardians, also sung by Kariyuki Mai. (I jog to it, it takes my mind off how much I hate jogging. ^_^) The climax of the fight takes place under the eaves of  a Kyoto temple. As the two fighters collapse with their efforts, the temple rains down tsuba upon them and we are left to imagine a series exactly like Ikkitousen without the pervasive and awful service and think how wonderful it might be, in that alternate world.

Ratings:

Art – 7
Story – 8 Fantastic fights, animated for people who don’t really care about the fights
Characters – 8
Service – Far more than is reasonable, but I guess someone likes it.
Yuri – 1

Overall – 8, because the fights are just that good, even though they are animated for the benefit of the creepiest of creepy viewers.

Last year a new Ikkitousen project was announced. And I’ll probably watch it, too. Because. But I’ll still wish it was fundamentally a better thing than it is. Because.

I want to talk today about violence in comics. In particular, my love of violence in comics. Over the years, I’ve been really upfront about how I love fighting comics and animation and characters that beat the crap out of each other. Not surprisingly, I’ve received a lot of shit for it and I understand why, so I want to talk about what I mean when I say, “I like violence.”

To me there is a clear and important line between a fight between equals and an abusive situation  – and that line is the balance of power. Horror as a genre has never appealed to me, because there is always a presupposition of a power imbalance. The stalker, murderer, evil thing has the power and the rest of the cast are victims running away from or forced to fight against the character(s) with power. I suppose that a lot of people enjoy horror because at least one victim wins, usually by gruesomely destroying the bad guy. It’s not my cup of tea. Neither are portrayals of abusive situations. These are not entertainment for me.

I prefer a consenting human, who has chosen their situation, to step into a battle with a fairly matched other consenting person. Even if the fighting itself is not “fair”, the presupposition is that both fighters know what they are getting in to. (This is all relevant this week, by the way, I’ll be referring back to this conversation later, so keep it somewhere you’ll remember to find it. ^_^)

In the meantime, today, we’re going to talk about Ikkitousen, one of the honestly crappiest series I’ve ever enjoyed. My review of XX back in 2010 said this, “In Ikkitousen: Xtreme Xecutor, we pretend that Ikitousen:GG never happened and go crawling back to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms with our heads down, asking humbly for it to take us back.”

And that’s pretty much exactly what happens. Where I was wrong was on the lack of service. The TV release may have had less service, but as this is the “home theater” version, we are forced to to do the tits and crotch dance repeatedly, endlessly, pathologically. I will never have anything but utter pity for folks that actually find this stuff titillating as it’s so boring and pedestrian. You have the whole Internet to be pervy on. Go find something interesting.

So, post the Battle of Red Cliffs that was sort of recreated in Ikkitousen: DD, in the Romance of the Three Schools, a tournament of fighters is announced (again). Someone claiming to be Kentei (again) is setting Fighters up (again) this time to get at the leaders of the three schools – all of whom do not attend for separate reasons. Sousou can’t fight or Cao Cao will take over his body again, Ryuubi can’t fight or her Dragon will go out of control and Hakufu misses the boat because she’s an idiot. This leaves their champions to duke it out with the new crazy fake-Kentei and the not-quite-as-crazy sisters from Nanban. Mouyuu is notable (to me) for being voiced by Toyoguchi Megumi (Sei’s voice actress from Maria-sama ga Miteru) and for having an fetching eyepatch. Put her in some decent clothes and she’d be perfect. ^_^

I’m not going to get into the plot particularly, but I very much like that the characters are extremely aware of their histories and that when Bachou Mouki arrives, they are all instantly convinced that a new recreation of an ancient battle is on the table. Kanu and Ryomou seem to be the most tied into historical awareness – another thing that makes the two of them awesome characters.

There’s a lot of talking in this volume as we set up the fights, but I’m gonna give the story its props, the final episode on this disk ends with a fantastic scene as Hakufu and Gakushu save Ryuubi and company’s asses. I really like Gakushu. He gets the second most “aww”s from me after Ryomou. ^_^

In conclusion, Ikkitousen XX is a hideous perversion of the Chinese epic with gross amounts of service and every once in a blue moon, a terrific fight sequence that makes it all worth watching, if you like watching people beat the shit out of one another. Which I do*.

Ratings:

Art – I guess it’s okay, but why bother? 7
Story – Weirdly 9. The story is actually why I watch it.
Characters – Also weirdly 9.
Service – 10 I can’t complain, because it is what it is, but snooze.
Yuri – 2 It’s there, but all pushed to the background.

Overall – Let’s say 8 if you’re me and 2 if you’re sensible.

*After watching fantasy fighting in Ikkitousen last night, I tuned into UFC to watch a really excellent real-life MMA fight between Paige Vanzant and Felice Herrig at the end of which both I and the live audience were on our feet for Vanzant’s efforts. Two equally matched fighters, both of whom go into it knowing what they are doing, makes for an amazing bout.

As you know, I’ve been determined to figure out what the heck the Romance of the Three Kingdoms is about by using the least accurate, most ridiculous forms of media possible. And by god, I think it worked!

I was watching the third volume of Ikkitousen: Dragon Destiny and it dawned on me that once I set all the semi-mystical dragon stuff aside I could actually follow what was going on.

You can be sure that I did not actually think this would work. But I guess if you see/read enough – and presuming even the worst aberrations have some minor connection to the actual story – I guess learning by osmosis does work after all. How unexpected. ^_^

In any case, Volume 3 ends with the legendary battle of Red Cliffs, sort of, and Ryuubi and Sonsaku defeat Sousou, sort of, and all the cool characters are very cool, as we both expect and desire.

This is followed by a shockingly sweet epilogue and then followed up with hideous extra shorts that basically go like this: Butt, Breasts, Butt, Breasts, Butt, Breasts. And everyone’s butts and breasts look exactly the same. Totally snoozariffic.

This was followed by a live event at Tokyo International Anime Fair, starring the Voice actresses for Kanu, Ekitoku and Koumei, which might have been interesting, but the audience was an Ikkitousen audience so…it wasn’t. “Which character breathes heavily alot?” Puh-leaze. They could have asked what it was like to pretend to break people in half, instead we watch them act like they give a shit talking about underwear. My fetishes are just not other people’s fetishes, I guess.

I also enjoyed the performance of the opening theme from the TIAF piece, as it was basically the singer, Kariyuki Mai,  karaoke-ing her own song. ^_^ She did a damn good job under the circumstances.

Would have liked a little drama recording though- with Kanu, Chouhi and Koumei there, they easily could have a 5 minute thing about Ryuubi or something. Oh, forget that, I really just wished Nabatame-san used her Kanu voice for something. Anything. The ads for stuff would have been fine. Oh well.

What made this volume work overall was Koumei taking the lead on the strategies used, so it seemed for a bit like it all made sense…and watching Kanu and Ryomou kick the shit out of just about anyone is fun.

And of course, there’s  a teeny bit of Yuri. Kanu has a shockingly frank scene where she admits to  Koukin that she loves Ryuubi – and she’s really open about it, too. We knew this, of course, but it was nice to see her just getting it off her chest, so to speak. ^_^

If you’ve been able to put up with (or, god help you, enjoy,) the kind of lameass perviness that Ikkitousen serves up in shovel loads, then Ikkitousen:DD, Volume 3 is worth waiting for.

Nov. 27th correction: Aaack! I incorrectly thanked Media Blasters when I wrote this review. In reality, the credit belongs to Okazu Superhero Amanda M! My sincere apology Amanda and my thanks for your kindness and generosity. This is my favorite volume out in English so far and will remain so until we get Ikkitousen: Xtreme Xecutor, if we ever do.

In Leslie Charteris’ The Saint Around the World, a female character looks at Simon Templar after being threatened with gang rape and says, “Why is it always rape? And why is it so important to men?”

Every time I come across the use of sex as torture in any media, this line comes to mind. Why, indeed.

In Volume 2 of Ikkitousen, we come into the story as Ryomou is being defeated by Ten’i who, we learn, was sexually abused by her father, until in an act of self-defense she kills him – which does not, in fact, make her an object of pity, but of scorn and derision. And, ultimately, the victim of even more sexual abuse. Scapegoating is a truly terrible human trait.

Later, Kanu willingly turns herself over to Sousou in order to save Ryuubi and yet again we get a slavering male who uses sexual torture because god knows, we can’t just stay away from a woman’s vagina for five seconds.

The worst part of watching Ikkitousen is that *behind* the tediousness is actually a pretty great story. But gawd, do we have to spend a lot of energy craning our head around the pathological obsession with women’s crotches and breasts. I shouldn’t complain, I know what I’m in for when I watch it. But I’m complaining anyway – why is it so damn important to you guys? I don’t get it, I really don’t.

Aside from my petty and  completely pointless complaints, this is a really interesting volume if the tenuous connection between this anime and the Romance of the Three Kingdoms is of any interest to you. Kanu’s deal with the devil inside Sousou, Shibai’s role in the various strategems and Koumei’s appearance are all pretty great. You just gotta sit through some serious obsessively-compulsive sexual dysfunction to get to those moments.

Aside from everything else, Ryomou and Kanu are still cooler than everyone else and Hakufu starts to reach their level, just before Sousou pounds her flat. ^_^

I forgot to mention the OVA episodes in my review of the first volume – I’m going to forget to do so again. ^_^