Think Kodomo no Omocha meets Psychic Academy, with a little yuri thrown in for seasoning and you have Gakuen Alice.

I wasn’t originally interested in watching this series because I’ve had enough of cute for a while (hence my recent huddling on the couch with not-cute series like Otogizoushi and Phantom Memory Kurau,) but after a strong recommendation from a regular on the Yuricon Mailing List, this simply sounded to good to pass up. (And, see *this* is why you need to join the Mailing List – because there really is some excellent stuff out there, and no one, not even the dedicated seeker of yuri can find it all themselves!)

Gakuen Alice starts with a distinctly Sana-like main character, Sakura Mikan, energetically voiced by Maria-sama ga Miteru’s Ueda Kana, the voice actress for Yumi – proving once again that, like tatoos and piercings, once you’ve voiced a yuri character, you’ll be doing another and another… ;-)

Mikan is one of those hyper-energetic, loopy, yet irrationally likeable characters. In stark contrast stands Mikan’s genius best friend, irascabile and grumpy already at 10, Imai Hotaru, aptly named after the proto-goth Hotaru from Sailor Moon. Hotaru is delightfully mercenary and manipulative and, despite her obvious distate for displays of affection, she clearly cares deeply for Mikan. Which is why she doesn’t tell Mikan that she’s leaving for an “Alice” school in Tokyo.

“Alice” schools appear to be extremely elite private academies that take in only children with extraordinary abilities. In return, their families are given large sums of money, but the trade-off is that the students are cut of from friends and family completely. Mikan, devastated by the news, waits a few seasons, then heads off to find her friend, if only to see her for a moment, because life without Hotaru is simply intolerable.

For her part, Hotaru showed her affection for Mikan (and let me tell you I have a REALLY hard time stopping myself from calling her “Sana” every time) by giving her share of the “Alice” money to their school to keep it open…simply because it was important to Mikan. If *that’s* not love…

So, Mikan arrives in the big city, is immediately almost kidnapped and saved in the nick of time by a pretty young man from the Alice school Hotaru attends. Inexplicably, his powers do not seem to affect Mikan, something which intrigues him enough that he invites Mikan to attend the school. Not having a clue what’s going on at the school, but determined to be with Hotaru, Mikan agrees.

Future episodes look like they will be intermittently funny and painful, but I have to say that, even without the relationship between Hotaru and Mikan, this would probably be something I’d watch. In answer to the question “is it really yuri?” I’d have to say yes. Yes, they are young, and yes, it’s a relationship that lacks desire (and thank heavens for *that*!) but the love between the two girls is quite obvious and profound.

Ratings:
Story – 8
Character – 9
Art – 8
Music – 8
Yuri – 7

Overall – 8.

The comment around my house after the first episode was, “Is there more?” Barring incredible suckitude in future episodes, I think this one will be a keeper.

Thought-provoking and slightly disturbing, I My Me Strawberry Egg deserves careful consideration from the discriminating yuri fan.

I gotta tell you – it’s been a really long time since I sat down and watched IMMSE and I *still* don’t know whether I like it or not.

The basic plot is not that different from the movie Tootsie: that is, nice young up-and-coming teacher Amawa Hibiki is having a really hard time finding a job. He’s perfect for this one gig, but…it’s an all-girl school and the principal won’t even consider a man for the position. So Hibiki dresses like a woman and lands the job.

Hibiki is an exceptional teacher, and he really connects with his students, in particular Kuzuha Fuko, a shy, clumsy girl that Hibiki really draws out of her shell. Not surprisingly Fuko develops a crush on her beautiful, sweet and kind teacher. The problem is that Hibiki falls for Fuko too. Aside from the issue of teacher-student relation taboos, there’s the whole gender thing to contend with. Fuko is terrified of men (and Hibiki when he is a man,) but is in love with Hibiki the woman.

Rather than discuss the plot, let me outline *why* this is such a challenging anime to watch:

1) Hibiki is a better woman than the women. Not only is “she” unreasonably gorgeous and shapely, the school’s principal and other teachers are harpy-esque man-haters who are mean and nasty and ugly, internally, and sometimes, externally as well.

2) Hibiki is honestly a decent person, the plot-driving deceit notwithstanding. He’s a good teacher, but the essential lie about who and what he is colors all his actions – and worse, he *knows* it. It tears him up inside that he couldn’t have just gotten the job as himself. He questions not only his own emotions for Fuko, but hers for him, wondering if her had been himself, would either of them felt even a glimmer of atttraction, or is it only because he is something else that he’s let the situation get to this point.

3) The use of miserable pervert peeping toms as “comedic relief.” It simply does not get more dreadful than this. There is and never has been *anything* remotely funny about peeping toms. (Socio-Political Rant Mode On: Peeping is a form of stalking, and we really need to get past thinking it’s a “boys will be boys” thing, when in reality it is a “boys will be sociopaths” thing. I’m in favor of immediate and painful castration for anyone caught peeping as a reminder to young men that being a dickhead is NOT socially acceptable behavior…: Rant Mode Off)

4) Fuko’s emotions. The absolutely hardest thing to watch in this anime is Fuko’s love being turned into a side-show so that a jealous colleague can ruin Hibiki. It was painful in the extreme.

5) The pat ending. The problem is, Hibiki *is* a really nice guy, you just cannot hate him. He obviously can’t stay at the school, but he really can’t just up and leave, either, leaving Fuko to face it all alone – but that’s what he does. And Hibiki’s landlord turns out to be the ex-husband of the Principal of the school, who had a sex change (apparently to become a horrid crone, go figure) which is why Principal Harpy hates men. It was not only really obvious, but cloying and tedious. What lessons are we supposed to be learning here? That it’s okay to fuck with a child’s heartfelt emotions in order to teach someone else a lesson, and that having good intentions means it’s okay to be selfish? I don’t know, really, I just don’t know.

In the end, the only truly sympathetic and honest character is Fuko. Her emotions are so real and so raw that they just make this anime that much harder to watch. Fuko really falls in love with Hibiki, but with the female Hibiki who is no more than a sham. So, who does she really fall in love with? We can’t say with any conviction that she fell in love with another woman, nor can we say that she didn’t. It all ends up kind of messy and up to personal opinion. Obviously, my opinion is that she fell in love with a woman, since she had no reason at all to believe Hibiki to be anything other than what she appeared to be.

In the end, in my opinion it’s yuri. It’s not a nice, clean story, but it is an interesting and difficult one. And for that reason, well worth watching.

I know that IMMSE has been released on DVD for the US, so do make sure you buy or rent it legitimately. You’ll can buy it through the Yuricon Shop, of course. In the meantime, please join us on the Yuricon Mailing List and let us know what *you* think of this story!

Ratings:
Story – 7
Characters – 7
Art – 6
Music – 6
Yuri – 9

Overall – 7

It’s not happy, it’s not satisfactory and it’s not fun. But it *is* smart and it is well-done. Which is why it hurt so damn much.

An entire space ship full of lesbians, but “where’s the Yuri?”

I sat through the first two seasons of Vandread in a monster marathon. I figured, great – a space ship full of women, from a planet full of lesbians…I’ll get my fill o’Yuri from *this* series! Just goes to show you how wrong you can be.

Don’t get me wrong – I like a space opera as much as the next guy. I was nursed on old school scifi novels and teethed on the original Star Trek. When Star Wars came out (the first time, before Lucas effed it up), I and my Dad saw it in the theater and were blown away. I love space ships and dogfights and end-of-the-world scenarios and all that good stuff. And yet I think that Vandread may be one of the worst anime I have ever seen.

The plot is simple – once a unified culture, the women and men of the planets Tarak and Mejale have been engaged in a literal war of the sexes for centuries. Each has advanced mecha and retro policies and ne’er the twain shall meet, until…

The all-female pirate crew of the Nirvana, out of Mejale, find themselves confronted with the worst of all possible circumstances when their ship bizarrely (and inexplicably) merges with the all-male crewed Tarak battleship Ikazuchi. Now the Mejale pirates have to deal with male Tarak stowaways, and integrate themselves and their almost sentient ship together into one group. Or not. Because really, very little of any of this is explained…it’s all just the vehicle to get three guys onto a spaceship full of women.

Of course, the first thing that happens is that many the women on the ship fall for the biggest loser of the bunch, Hibiki. And he, and the biggest loser among the female crew, Dita, spend the entire series having incredibly dull and tedious scenes of near emotional paralysis and over-tired sightgags. Honestly, if they lost Dita and Hibiki, the series would have been *significantly* more interesting.

The second of the three men, a doctor, is quite pleasant and professional…and competetent, so the series doesn’t spend much time on him. He has a slow-burning and rather pleasantly sweet romance with Chief Engineer Parfet, voiced by Maria-sama ga Miteru‘s Sei, Toyoguchi Megumi. This is the second-least horrible romance in the story.

The third man to end up on the Nirvana is a total loser named Bart. And of *all* the stories, it is Bart’s that is the least horrible – actually it was the only interesting storyline in the series. The ship’s second in command, BC, is a daunting and businesslike woman who (rightfully) terrifies Bart. For some reason (never explained) Bart has the ability to steer the ship, by merging with its near-sentient drive. So BC is forced to deal with Bart. And so are we. At first Bart is self-absorbed and tedious, but, as time goes on, he actually becomes a person and even tries to, in a cute but pathetic way, woo BC. BC keeps Bart at a distance but at the end of the first season, we learn that there was a *really* good reason why. BC is really….a guy. Bart, who has broken past all his culture’s mores to fall in love with the enemy now finds that the object of his affection is not only a spy, but also not even a she. Bart has the most wonderful scene in the entire series when he confronts BC after “she” brings them to Tarak as prisoners.

So, in a weird gender-bendy way, the best love story is a gay male one.

But what about the lesbians, you may ask? Keep asking, because frankly, there’s little enough about them.

To begin with, there’s Barnette and Jura. Here’s the official description of Barnette from Pioneer’s official Vandread site – “She seems to like Jura.” Isn’t that brutal? They are the only long-term, stable couple on ship and all we get is, “She seems to like Jura.” Excuse me while I spit. To add to the annoyance factor, Jura spends every waking moment trying to get into Hibiki’s pants to make a perfect child – because she loves things of beauty and, inexplicably to anyone with eyes, she finds runty, loser, dorky Hibiki to be a perfect specimen of his gender. Yes, it becomes an issue between Barnette and Jura and yes, they have a few moments of togetherness and reconciliation, but nothing that made me like either of them very much.

And then there’s Meia. The butchy, cool, unemotional, full-of-anger driven comptence type, Meia is the chief fighter pilot for the Nirvana. In the second season we get a short arc about her, with near-explicit lesbian references, if you don’t blink and miss them. And at the VERY end, we get to see her reunite with her lover and gosh, they both look happy! Meia is about as good as it gets in Vandread. As an added bonus, Meia is voiced by Orikasa Fumiko, who has also done such Yuri notables as Ruki from Digimon Tamers, Karin from Stratos 4 and Yayoi from Stellvia.

In any case, at the end of the second season, the bad guys are talked to death, Hibiki turns out to be the single most important person on both worlds and the war turns out to be a marital spat gone bad. And the season, and the series, ends without a single thing of merit or note. Whee.

Ratings:
Story – 4
Characters – 7 (To paraphrase an old rhyme, “the good ones are very good, the bad ones are horrid”)
Music – 5
Art – 5
Yuri – should be 9, but instead limps in at a lame 3

Overall – 5, but only because of Bart and BC, otherwise it would be a 3.

Let’s put it this way – I may be waffling over buying Stratos 4 on DVD…I never ever *considered* buying Vandread.