I‘ve been pretty spotty reviewing here this week. I bet you thought that when I came back it would be for something full of awesome and love, didn’t you? But, no, instead I return to you with a review of full of Kaishaku. Sorry.

I bought myself the UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie OVA Collection for reasons that I’m sure made sense at the time, but which I can no longer recall. Having purchased it, I supposed I’d better watch it. Well, I watched Season 3.

I’ve stopped caring that Kaishaku’s work is really bad, honestly. I’m resigned to the fetish du jour construction of their stories.  There were even moments where I liked an angle, a scene, a character.

But look, let me say this plainly and get it out of the way, because I find the thought burdensome and want to shed it. When Kazuto kisses Val-chan and she turns into Valkyrie, every time I think – this is what pedophiles see in their heads. That this innocent child is somehow an actual willing, equal partner in this relationship. And this thought really makes it hard for me to ever like this series – even though Kazuto’s relationship with Val-chan is, in and of itself, innocent. Kazuto is clearly in love with Valkyrie, and treats Val-chan as a daughter and that is that. Kazuto’s worst behavior with Val-chan is that he spoils her a little.

But less and less is the story about Kazuto and Valkyrie at all. In Season 3, it’s almost an aside to the main plot of whatever episode. Whether it’s a cat maid superhero or one of Valhalla’s 4 million princesses showing up for a visit (and crashing into a building to do so. When Rika commented on the fact, I was amazed they bothered to address the issue at all) Valkyrie and Kazuto’s impending, oft-delayed wedding seems tagged on as an afterthought.

Among the many Princesses who show up for an extended visit is Pharm, who crashes into the local school and inexplicably becomes a teacher. Pharm is representative and enthusiast of the girl-wearing-glasses fetish. This episode is laden with Yuri service that doesn’t quite go anywhere, but it was kind of weird and silly. We learn at the end of the episode that Pharm has a crush on Valkyrie. That too is kind of weird and silly. Most of this series is kind of weird and silly. And every once in a while, it almost becomes likable.

Ratings:

Art – Nothing like Kaishaku’s – 7
Story – There is very little story – 5
Characters – Variable, averaging out at 6
Yuri – 4 for Pharm
Service – there are not enough numerals, nor spaces to hold them

Overall – 5

So if you like Kaishaku generally, or think you might if they stopped beating up their women all the time, Season 3 of Valkyrie is not intolerable.

Taisho Baseball Girls is a story about girls playing baseball. Not just “playing baseball,” playing hardball with the boys – and forcing them to take them seriously because they can play the game.

This a great anime that makes me smile for any number of reasons. I smiled with admiration at the effort they put in to training in a sport they’ve come to live and love. I smiled gently when Koume thought she was going to be a movie star, I smiled with nostalgia when they had a pillow fight and I smiled like a wolf when Akiko pitched a mean sinker.

I’ve spoken to a lot of folks recently about the Nanoha franchise and most of us feel that it’s a fantastic series wrapped in a layer of pandering. The Nanoha series is, in a nutshell, about a bunch of girls working *really* hard to become the very best at what they do, not holding anything back and indeed becoming some of the best in the world. In Taisho Baseball Girls, the girls will not be among the best, but they still are shown working extremely hard to get to where they are – and for that, and the lack of pandering – this series is one of the best anime I’m currently (re)watching. It has my one real fetish – women training until they collapse and getting better as they do.

Yes, this series had Yuri in it, but good heavens, if you’re watching this series for the Yuri, you have *completely* missed the point.

Let’s cut to the chase – if the title of the final episode, “Covered in Dust and Sweat” doesn’t make your heart pound a little harder, this is just not the anime for you. But if it does – if your chest swells with pride when you watch them play their hearts out – then you and I can be friends.

Ratings:

Art – 8
Story – 10
Characters – 10
Yuri – 5
Service – 0, because the very nature of being a creepy fanboy would make them unlikely to watch, understand or appreciate this series, or if they did, they’d only care about the Yuri.

Overall – 10

Please, makers of anime, take the lesson here – lose the pandering and just give us a story about girls fighting to become stronger with all their might. Please. It would be the greatest anime ever.

Once again it is my genuine pleasure to thank Okazu Superhero Amanda M for her sponsorship of today’s review!

“If you’re amused by our lack of experience, that’s one thing and I can’t do anything about that, but if it’s that fact that we’re women that amuses you, that I will not sit still for!”

If you have ever wanted Japanese women to speak up for themselves, then you really must watch Taisho Baseball Girls.

The plot is a simple one. In the beginning of the 20th century, Japan was embracing Western culture with some fervor. Western clothes, sports, vehicles, cuisine took on more than just a new and exotic flavor – they became emblematic of Japan’s appearance on the international stage.

A young woman, totally dissed by her fiancée’, and not at all pleased with his antiquated notion of what a woman’s role was supposed to be, decides to fight him on his own turf – the baseball diamond. Akiko decides that she will form and field a baseball team of…shock!…girls!…to combat this grotesque display of sexism. And, slowly, piece by piece, she does. In this, she is joined by her friend, Koumei. Koumei is the daughter of a Western cuisine restaurateur who is himself ironically very conservative.

This story is as much a paean to amateur baseball as anything else. The girls, who know nothing about the game, recreate all the wheels for themselves; everything from basic batting and throwing techniques, to signals and scouting. If you strongly oppose sports stories, this may not be the anime for you, then. But if the “guts” ideal holds for you, I cannot think of a more delightful way to revel in each and every step of the journey.

There is Yuri. It begins with tall, athletic Tomoe, who is much admired by a coterie of younger students. Tomoe may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but she has a sincere princeliness that she’s not afraid to wield.

Tomoe might be admired by the other girls, but it’s Koumei that she herself has her eyes on. It’s easy to see that she does, because we also watch Koumei closely through the series. She’s a great character – strong, but not unreasonably so, and smart in a “got a good grasp of human nature” way.

That’s it for the “real” Yuri, but there’s no end of slashable pairings. Of course people like Akiko and Koumei together. They are the leads. They are the team’s pitcher and catcher pair and, as team manager Kawashima notes, they ought to function like a married couple and be of one mind and heart.

In my head (and I have no doubt I am not alone in this) I am convinced that Yuki and Tamaki are a ridiculously adorable couple.

But my own personal crush goes to Kawashima Noe. If Akiko and Koumei are the  heart of the team, Kawashima is the brain – and if you know anything about me, you know that competence and intelligence are my two favorite qualities in a woman. Even a non-existent ones. ^_^ Kawashima is the one who recreates the position of manager and scout for the team, enabling them to progress.

Sentai Filmworks’ production is not perfect. The subtitles are dubtitle-y. They often represent the conversation in a way that the script is not actually expressing, but if you can’t  understand what they are saying anyway, it seems sensible enough. There is no dub, which is no loss for me, as the voice actresses in this series are some of my faves. “Extras” are the non-extras of DVD credits and ads for other Sentai properties.

If you’re interested in the manga for this series, you probably should be warned that Itou Shimpei does the art, so there’s less baseball, less Yuri, more service and the character designs are goofier. But it’s still cute. Here’s my review of Volume 1. For an overview of the first Light Novel, check out George R’s review from earlier this year.

All that being said, for a story that is sure to make you smile, and lots of really laugh out loud moments, Taisho Baseball Girls is an excellent choice. This is a pick-me-up-when-I’m-down series, without question.

Ratings:

Art – 7
Story – 8
Characters – 9
Yuri – 2
Series – 1

Overall – 9

Many, many thanks to Okazu Superhero Amanda M for providing us with hours of entertaining baseball hijinks and smart, dedicated and increasingly competent girls!

On the one hand, Queen’s Blade is a full-on fantasy quest series, populated with very strong women who fight for power, money, to protect what they love and the chance to rule the world. On the other hand, it is an unwatchably vile series with nothing but the absolutely most tedious use of secondary sexual characteristics I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Pretending for a second that the plot isn’t just a frame to see crotches, asses and tits to the point of monotony, the story in Volume 1 follows a slightly spoiled daughter of nobility, Leina Vance, in her quest to first, escape her family home, second, eventually decide to become strong enough to win the Queen’s Blade competition. This transformation from the first to the second is primarily brought about by Leina’s encounter with the thief Risty. (I always their heard names as Reina and Listy, but Media Blasters has them switched. If I misspell one going forward, I apologize in advance.) Risty educates Leina about the realities of life in the Vance domain. The poor suffer, fighters fight, no money=no food, no shelter, no nuthin’. Risty’s tough love will set Leina out on a quest that we’d have to be a total moron to not realize that she will fulfill. However.

As I say, this series is less about the story than it is about the objectification of woman-shaped animated characters. The repeated appearances of eerily identical breasts, buttocks and crotches never really shown, but always barely covered, approaches a level of absolute monotony. In one spectacularly awkward costume malfunction after another, nipples will be seen. We will look in between women’s legs. There is no option. When I stopped watching for a little while, and just listened to the soundtrack, the story was one of strength, power and competence. Once I looked up again, it was back to tits and asses.

I’ve read a little of the manga, and while it’s not timeless literature, it’s all right. The anime is also all right, if you basically ignore the visuals and Nanael.

Yuri is primarily to be found in the character of Elina, Leina’s anagramically named little sister who lusts after Leina, and the instantly fraught with tension relationship between Risty and Leina. Also, for some service, there’s Echidna who, as the only totally honest character in the series, is my favorite, her sartorial choice not withstanding. I can’t begin to think of the many ways in which wearing a live snake as a thong is a bad idea. Oh, and the voice cast is massively 6 degrees of Yuri. It’s like the whole set of the Yuriest freaking VAs possible.

This is apropos to nothing, but the subtitle of this volume is “The Exiled Virgin” which basically makes no sense – Leina wasn’t exiled at all, she ran away. Her virginity is never mentioned, but since that kind of thing seems to matter to otaku, fine, she’s a virgin. Sheesh.

For no particular reason I listened to the English language track for an episode or two. It was fine. The dialogue was slightly different, but in every way captured the feel of the original Japanese. It’s not like the dialogue is profound or anything, anyway.

Ratings:

Art- 6
Story – The actual quest story is a 7, the execution is a 1
Characters – 7
Yuri – 3
Service – Gazillion

Overall – If you seriously think this is arousing I just don’t even know what to say.

My thanks to Media Blasters for providing this review copy. If you’d prefer to get the whole series at once, a season set will be available in February 2011.

Now I need to go watch something good. ^_^