I feel as if I’ve been flattened by a truck, so I’m going with a “brain need not apply” type manga today, courtesy of Dan P. Battle Club, by Shiozaki Yuji, has all the service of Shiozaki’s other, more well-known series Ikkitousen, without any of the complicating factors, like a plot, character development or sanity.

In Volume 1, we met the cast of characters whose crotches we would be looking at. Welcome to Volume 2, in which several of the untranslated things in the story suddenly and quite unneccesarily, become translated. Why do I say it was unneccesary? Because NOTHING is going to make this story better – not translation, not touch up, nothing. It’s Grade Q crap and I dare you to tell me that you’re reading it for the plot. I know I’m not. I’m reading it for the absurdity, and the occasional flash of Yuri.

Let me just get this out of the way. Dear moron who wrote the front page copy; Lesbian is not the same as bi-curious, and Higuchi is not a lipstick lesbian, no matter how much you think your clever copy is alliteratively alluring.

I’m done. Thank you for your patience.

For the rest of the story, we’re basically watching Tamako get molested as she trains and Mokichi being a loser. With service. In fact there’s so much service here, I’m surprised the book doesn’t get a 4-star AAA rating. (Probably that joke just fell really flat for most of you, but I don’t care. It wasn’t for you.)

Tamako gets her ass kicked by a rival school’s Mukouda, and by Taki in a panda suit and then there’s some service as the women (and Taki) take a bath, then some bits about Mokcihi, but no one cares. Whole hunks of the book are related while coach takes a piss, sometimes accompanied by Mokichi or Taki, because apparently that’s funny.

Yuri is…well, not much. Higuchi remains gay in theory, but we’re not seeing much practice. When she gets defeated by Mukouda, her lesbian cool points take a hit, too and the guys begin to harrass her – because lesbians are only cool when they are invincible. Thank heavens *I’m* still invincible! Shiba shows up primarily to be turned on by Taki and Tamako wrestling naked in the onsen. Well, duh.

Ratings:

Art – 7
Story – 1
Characters – 3
Yuri – 2
Service – Infinity

Overall – 5

How low can you make your expectations go? If you approach Battle Club with expectations like “the word balloons will have words” and “I will see ass shots” you ought to be okay.

After wallowing in the tragedies of Confidential Confessions I felt the need to read COMEDY! Unfortunately, all I had was Pretty Face, Volume 1. ^_^;

No, it really is a comedy and if I had any humor in me at all, I would surely be doubled up in laughter at the endlessly amusing plight of a bad-ass punk guy who was severely injured in an accident and awakes to find that a helpful plastic surgeon reconstructed his face and upper body to resemble that of the girl whose picture he carried in his pocket. (The wife says, “Because I always carry a picture of myself, just like Paris Hilton.”)

I will give props to the author because at this point, he comes up with one of the most utterly absurd plot devices *ever* to get the punk dude to be able to go back to school – the girl he likes had a twin sister who disappeared some time ago, and now everyone thinks *he* is the sister, returned at long last. Shades of The Return of Martin Guerre…not.

So in Pretty Face, Volume 1, everyone thinks Rando is really Yuna, including and especially Yuna’s sister Rina, who is so excited to have her sister back she wants to sleep with her and bathe with her and rub her naked body all over her, and other sisterly things. Yuri in this volume is by implication and incest-flavored, like Rando imagining himself with Yuna’s face and Rina kissing.

It’s been a long time since I read this series in Japanese, but I vaguely remember that another female character falls for “Yuna” in later volumes, and there’s more fake Yuri there.

Technically, this may be the best reproduction I’ve ever seen out of Viz. (Does that make you think, “Oh, what a shame”?” It does me, lol) The tones are clean, the art is clear and it’s very easy to follow the crazy action scenes.

Pretty Face is not intellectual comedy. It’s physical gags and face faults and the thrill of watching a cute girl kicking ass mightily, with a frisson of Yuri-ish sort of romance. And lots of penis jokes.

Ratings:

Art – 8
Story – 7
Characters – 5 They are pretty much one-trick ponies in this volume
Yuri – 3
Service – 7

Overall – 7

My deepest thanks to Ziggr for sponsoring today’s review~!

Back in the bad old days of Yuri, in between the frantic melodrama of the 70’s and this current decade, (and with the exception of Sailor Moon) it was fairly common in manga to find lesbian love paired with mental unbalance. Confidential Confessions, by Momochi Reiko is a series that allows us to wallow in the depravity of “true” stories and incidentally, see some crazy lesbians.

You know the television show that’s on WEtv (which as you know, I like to refer to as the “Violence Against Women Network,”) High School Confidential? This manga was written 10 years ago – and it’s the exact same stuff. Teenage pregnancy, abuse, drug use, etc. Freaky, huh? Guess good girls in bad trouble still appeals to some.

In Volume 4, we “deal” with a number of unpleasant issues; institutionalized abuse of female students; prostitution; bullying; and, in “Forbidden Kiss,” a lesbian love affair complete with insane jealousy, a knife and an ambiguously asexual ending.

The author’s notes dramatically explain that all these terrible things go on, and she feels that, by telling these stories, she’s bringing these issues to people’s attention, so the bullying and abuse and prostitution will stop. She doesn’t mention the lesbianism. If I was young and had read her story, I might have been tempted to stop being a lesbian. Those girls were *crazy*! ^_^; This is the same tone of slavering “concern” with which WEtv deals with the same issues in their show – oh, how awful, isn’t it just terrible what happened, did you hear, I know I was shocked too.

The art in Confidential is decidedly old-school, and in a way it made me nostalgic. If you like the dredging up of sleazy “true” stories, then you’ll be happy to note that the series is 6 volumes long and there’s a second series, Confidential Confessions: Deai, as well. So plenty of teenaged girl misery and abuse for you to bathe yourself in and either feel better about your own life, or get secretly turned on, or whatever floats your boat.

While I do love me my Evil Pycho Lesbians, I’m less moved by this kind of teenage pathos. But, if you love tabloid drama Confidential Confessions is certainly dramatic. ^_^

Ratings:

Art – 7
Story – N/A
Characters – N/A
Yuri – 6
Service – 5

Overall – 7

A tip of the hat today to Ted the Awesome for sponsoring today’s review! (You may have noticed that I haven’t added anything recently to the Yuri Wishlist. That’s because I’m positively *drowning* in things to review and want to make some of it all go away before encouraging you all to throw more on top of an already untenably large pile. When these piles are gravitationally stable again, I’ll add more stuff to the wishlist! Thanks, everyone, for your support!)

It’s always a pleasure to find a new series to read. It’s especially a pleasure when both my wife and I find something in common to enjoy. So, when it turned out that the author of one of her pretty demon boy series turned out to also be doing a series about a robot girl, we agreed to try it.

Karakuri Odette by Suzuki Julietta, is indeed about a robot girl, Odette. (That’s Odette looking decidedly Utena-esque on the left of the cover.) Her guardian and inventor, Professor Yoshizawa, created her in the image of a high school girl and Odette is taking her role very seriously. In the beginning of the series, when she realizes that there are differences between her and the girls she saw going to school, she tells the Professor that she would also like to go to school. So, she does. And little by little, she closes the gap between her and the human girls around her.

Odette’s a good kid. She’s thoughtful and kind and wants to be a good human, so she throws herself into things like school and making friends and learning to eat with zeal, surprising, but not displeasing, the Professor. When a second robot, Chris, shows up to kill the Professor, Odette befriends him and ultimately, he’s adopted into the Yoshizawa household.

Crises in Odette can be just about *anything.* From wanting to understand “flavor,” to android assassins, to staying over a friend’s house for the night – the chapters run the gamut from sweet to freakish with nary a breath between.

In Volume 4, Odette is sent to the house of spoiled, creepy Ringosaka Shirayuki. And true to her name, Odette plays the prince to this Snow White, waking her from a lifetime sleep of loneliness and unhappiness. The entire volume follows Shirayuki as she is awakened by her prince (sadly not with a kiss) and as she changes her whole life to be closer to Odette. It’s not quite Yuri, but it’s sort of on the edgier side of akogare and friendship. Shirayuki has to learn to share Odette and play well with others. The end of the volume sees the two of them hand in hand as they walk off to face tomorrow.

There’s really nothing to dislike in Karakuri Odette. The character is charming in her sincerity; her relationship to the Professor never fails to make me smile. “Professor! I want to go to school.” “Whah? Okay.” “Professor! I want to be able to eat.” “Why? All right.” “Professor! I want a cell phone.” “No.” His reactions are very much those of a parent of a teenaged girl. ^_^

The human drama is spliced into silly android drama, so that any chapter might be about “what is love” or escaping from people trying to kidnap Chris, by shopping for sneakers. Because it is a “high-school romance” shoujo story, there are several rivals for Odette’s affection. Yukimura, the first-year boy who has no idea she’s a robot, Chris the other robot, who does, and Shirayuki, who also does. And then there’s Odette’s sempai Asao. He’s a “bad,” but sensitive type, who is blunt with her about important things, but is very protective of her. One of the best things about the story is that there isn’t that “He’s mean to me because he loves me” dynamic that rules so much of shoujo manga.

Ratings:

Art – 8
Story – 7
Characters – 8
Yuri – 2
Service – 1

Overall – 7

So, while mild on the Yuri side, I have to say that I’m quite enjoying having a new shoujo manga series to follow (the first one since Marimite!) and, as an added bonus, I can share it with the wife. ^_^