Archive for the Hentai Category


Ultimate Girls Anime

March 3rd, 2005

Well, what can you say about an anime whose intitials are “UG”?

Frankly, I think the acronym sums it up nicely. This anime makes me retch. Yes, Silk and Vivienne are into each other, so of course they talk around each other, blush madly in each other’s direction and grab each other’s breasts in the bath. Yes, this is what girls do.

NOT

Gah, this anime is disgusting. The tranformation scenes are cleverly crafted to make anyone with the least little bit humanity left feel filthy.

I don’t care if it has a genuine clear cut Yuri couple – it sucks. If you think it is “cute” or “funny” or “sexy,” this is a major hint that you are a “bottom-feeding perv.”





Yuri Manga: Eve no Ringo/Eve’s Apple Manga, Volume 2

January 19th, 2005

Now *this* is good trash!

Eve no Ringo, (Eve’s Apple,) tells of the continuing misadventures of high schooler Kirika, an up-an-coming young manga artist, as she tries to break into the professional manga world. You may remember from Eve’s Apple, Volume 1, that she was hired by Blue Velvet, a S&M Ladies Comic.

In Volume 2, Kirika gets a brief chance to move into a much more popular shoujo manga magazine, but the Kind Editor’s offer is quashed by a self-proclaimed evil rival. Not content with simply trashing Kirika’s dreams, her rival, Mio, sends faxes to Kirika’s school, telling anyone who finds them what Kirika is doing in her spare time. Insane rival has fantasies of Kirika being gang-raped by drooling guys who assume that she’s a pervert. Instead, when she arrives, rival girl finds that mostly no one knows Kirika, except her small group of friend who think she’s plenty nice.

Why didn’t the faxes work? *Because*, they were faxed to the Doctor’s Office and the person who found them, the school doctor, LOVES Ladies Comics! She gets no less than 5 titles a month! She was so excited to meet Kirika, one of her favorite artists…and then she indulges in a spot of “seduce my favorite artist.” Apparently the school doctor is doing research on sex and what turns people on – and she gets Kirika right in the erogenous zone. But the doctor was only testing out her thesis, so poor Kirika is left gasping and moaning, but quite unfulfilled.

The crazy hardcore older mangaka Miyamae-sensei from Volume 1 seduces away Kirika’s best pal and “research” buddy Matsuda, which leads to a few moments of agonizing and confusion. And Evil Editor takes Kirika on a ride to explore the tawdry world of car sex. No, they don’t have car sex, you goofs. Although Kirika was worried there for a moment, too. ^_^

And, in the end, Kirika explores S&M with Yumiko, who doesn’t “get” it, but wants to make her boyfriend happy. Kirika ties Yumiko up, but she doesn’t enjoy that at all. However, when she’s got Kirika at her mercy – it all begins to make sense, now! And off Yumiko goes. So, once again, poor Kirika is left alone, gasping and moaning with nowhere to go.

Poor Kirika. That was the refrain all through this volume. This is, as I keep saying, utter, dire trash. But it’s funny and fun, and for crap, it’s pretty wonderful. :-)

I really hope Kirika gets some of her own in the next volume, I’m kind of feeling bad for her!





Yuri Manga: Eve no Ringo/ Eve’s Apple Manga Volume 1

December 22nd, 2004

It’s utter crap, but it’s fun crap.

Kawai Kirika wants, more than anything else in the whole wide world, to be a manga artist. Her dream consumes her, drives her – she is *determined* to become a pro. So, when every shoujo manga company she visits rejects her work for being too adult, she takes a risk and goes to a shounen company. To her shock, they accept her…but on one condition. The magazine she’s working for is an S&M manga magazine. The editor, an evil tick of a guy (who will probably end up being good, because you know, he pushed her to be the best she could be) requires her to study up on BDSM and submit a story.

Okay…let me repeat – Eve no Ringo: Evasapfel (Eve’s Apple in English) is utter crap. ^_^

The next few chapters follow Kirika as she studies up on, and participates in, BDSM in ways that are actually quite sweet and silly. In one chapter, she explores what being a typical S&M Oujou-sama might be like, by tying up her best friend in the manga club – Matsuda-kun, who also happens to have a crush on her. She proceeds to whip the daylights out of him, then complain to him that her feet hurt from wearing stiletto-heeled boots. Jokingly, she orders him to lick her feet…but they both learn pretty quickly that they kind of like that.

There’s some more mutual discovery, and ultimately Kirika is drawn deeper and deeper (but with no lessening of her naivete and shock) into the world of S&M comics. A rival author, Miyamae, turns out to be pretty hardcore (she walks around naked and bound to be able to “experience the feeling”) and manages to finagle Kirika into a little light “research,” with some small Yuri-esque service.

Although she’s barely had a page or two published by Editor Evil, Kirika is put in charge of an even newer talent, Yumiko, who promptly blows the last of Kirika’s personal boundaries away, by asking her to play the part of a man and have sex with her (for research, of course.) This is followed by a remarkably silly chapter dealing with vibrators.

It’s all so goofy and cute that it’s not offensive, even while it’s all fanservice. I like it enough that if I encounter another volume, I’ll get it.

Ratings:
Story – 7
Characters – 7
Art – 7
Yuri – 7

Overall – 7

If you’re easily offended, probably not the best choice. But if you can read a chapter about a boy dressed like a nun paddling a girl in school uniform in front of a crazy older manga artist who is laughing like a hyena and demanding that her assistants capture the feeling in ink and laugh, then you’ll probably enjoy Eve’s Apple. ^_^





Yuri Manga: Onna x Onna Premium

August 9th, 2004

Last time I placed an order with Amazon Japan, I decided to use the “People who bought that, also bought this” feature. It’s a pretty useless feature in English, (except to point out that people’s buying habits make pretty much no sense to me…), but when one is shopping in a foreign language, it’s darn useful! Or so I thought, but I forgot that there are way more bottom-feeding pervs than lesbian readers with discriminating tastes, so….

I got a few cool things, like Yuri Shimai 4 and the Maria-sama ga Miteru Drama CD 3 & 4 collection – which I have yet to review, but will – and I clicked on a few utterly random books bought by the same bottom feeders who read Yuri Shimai. ^_^

First up, I bought, after long consideration, an utter piece of crap called Onna x Onna Premium (Girl/Girl Premium). I knew it was going to be iffy when I bought it, just based on the cover. It’s a Yuri hentai anthology, where the definition of Yuri is much looser than my own. The book cover features two exceptionally over-endowed women stuffed into ill-fitting Chinese dresses, looking like they had fevers that had just broken. Neither of them look very much like they are enjoying themselves. The cover clarifies for us, “‘Lesbian’ is a female homosexual.” So you *know* we’re talking an intelligent and refined audience here.

The ensuing stories range from “Bleah” to “Yuck” with a few, “Well, comparatively this doesn’t utterly suck” thrown in. My biggest complaint is the excessive amount of bodily fluids, but the moe, the over-busy art and the general sense of crappy hentai for creeps didn’t endear any of the contributors to me. What *was* amusing was that I recognized several of the artists from doujinshi I own.

Let me just rant for a moment. What *is* it with the huge amounts of bodily fluids gouting from these girls? I mean, even on a really hot day, with exceptionally hot sex, I’m betting that most women do not spew fluids like that. Sure, a few might, fine…but come *on*!

Anyway, I found about two stories in the anthology that didn’t make me go, “ewwww” for one reason or another. ^_^

Ratings:

Art – inferior to excrable.
Story – Ha! Characters – Snort.
Yuri – Shrug.

If you like childish girls with penises having unpleasant sex, this is JUST what you’re looking for! ^_^;





Yuri Anime: Cream Lemon

March 22nd, 2004

clemonescSince I promised, and since you’ll get no more out of me for a while, I thought I’d end “hentai week” with a intermittently detailed and biased review of the entire Cream Lemon series.

Cream Lemon is a 35-episode hentai series comprised of several mini-series. As far as I know, there are no legitimate subtitled versions…possibly no subtitled versions at all for most of it. All I know is that I watched ’em raw and pixellated.. Like I said in my first hentai week post, since it hardly matters what they are saying, it’s no big deal.

A quick overview of Cream Lemon: The art is VERY retro. At times it was a little hard to watch because, even for such early animation, it wasn’t good, or detailed or anything. The stories have actual plots – some are better than others, but there’s probably something for everyone somewhere in the whole. The first half of CL has way more Yuri than the second half, I don’t think it’s on purpose, though.

To start with, Episodes 2,6 and 16 are called, collectively, “Escalation.” This mini-series begins at a Catholic School, where a cool sempai, Naomi, and her twisted lover, Midori, seduce a sweet innocent, Rie. In the second of the three episodes, Naomi-sempai goes all evil S&M ojousama on Rie, Midori and Rie’s roommmate Mari. (And some boy, who disappears somewhere halfway along, and Naomi’s father who serves only to drug Midori, as far as I can tell.) It’s one big old BDSM Yuri fest at Naomi’s mansion. The final of the three episodes is back at school, where new freshman Arisa has got a crush on our heroine Rie. Rie starts to initiate Arisa into her sapphic sisterhood, when roommate Mari shows up and throws a hissy fit. Of course, Mari and Rie make up in the time-honored fashion. Later, Rie visits her old sempai and is rewarded with Arisa as a graduation present. This okazu is followed by a night with Naomi-sempai, while Midori gets sloppy seconds with Arisa. As Rie goes off into the sunset in Naomi’s limo, we can feel confident that Arisa will continue the pattern of high school lesbianism into the future.

Cream Lemon Escalataion gets an “A”.

Episode 4 of CL is a silly scifi/western fusion called “Pop Chaser.” The first half is strictly, predictably Yuri, while the second half is rather amusingly straight. It’s utterly without merit, but I liked it anyway. This one gets a “B+”.

Episode 8 was about a very strange and creepy lesbian sempai with psychic powers who hates guys, and ends with a extended straight sex scene as the hero and heroine’s love power redeem the campus. It pretty much sucked. “C”.

Episode 9 is a a Dirty Pair parody, but the characters are lovers. It was exactly the way it sounds – a Dirty Pair parody, where the characters are lovers. ^_^; It gets a “B”.

Episode 12 was one installation of a horrible mini-series called “Ikenai Mako-chan.” It seems to be about white trash Mako-chan, and her non-adventures in sex. Snooze. This particular episode has a creepy girl, and an inexplicable Yuri seduction. It was okay, no more. “C”.

Episode 14 was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen anywhere, with a two-minute filler Yuri scene. “D”. Even the wildly inappropriate use of Nazi symbolism failed to make an impact.

Episode 17 – Well, this one was weirder and funnier than any of the others, IMHO. Our heroine doesn’t like sex. The school doctor, (who is, predictably, gorgeous and inappropriately dressed) calls her in for counseling. The heroine tells her why she dislikes sex:

Her father left to sell things (from a pushcart) and her mother took a lover. Dad came home and found the two of them in bed and had a heart attack. Mom, the heroine and her brother moved into their grandfather’s house, with the lover. One day, when her mother wasn’t home, the lover raped her, the heroine, on the dining room table. Her brother witnessed it, got angry and drove off and got into a car accident, ending up in traction. The grandfather attempted to rape the mother, but died in the attempt. While the heroine was left at home, her mother’s lover raped her again, and this time, her brother joined, raping her with his crutch.

Maybe it’s just me, but I was absolutely hysterical at this explanation.

Anyway, to cure the heroine, the doctor makes her undress and masturbate in front of the art class…ultimately, she also blows one of her classmates, has sex with him and the whole class ends up in one gigantic orgy. Notably, though, all the girls are having sex with each other, while the guys fight for the doctor.

It wasn’t good, but it was interesting. For that, Episode 17 gets a “B+”.

Episode 25 – some Yuri action while a classmate gets gang raped. Uh-huh. Obviously, they end up in a threesome. Duh. “C”.

Episode 32 – A bad first-time experience forces our heroine to seek assistance from a classmate and her sempai. Threesome, followed by better straight sex the second try. “B”.

Episode 35 – some incidental maid action. I was pretty fried, so I think I missed one – this particular mini-series, Kuroneko something or other, had an earlier episode with more incidental maid and young girl stuff. I think I wiped it from my memory.

So, there you go – look for the Escalation series and Pop Chaser for something you can show your friends, the rest, watch alone when you’re overtired and easily amused. LOL

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And now, I’m outta here for a while – have a great month!