I just finished ROLL OVER AND DIE: I Will Fight for an Ordinary Life with My Love and Cursed Sword!, Vol. 1 written by kiki, illustrated by kinta, out now from Seven Seas. Tl;dr  It was a fast read and overall, a good one. I will certainly read the next volume.

Flum Apricot was chosen young to be legendary warrior, but her “reversal” skill means her stats are always at 0. To make herself more useful, she provides food and backup to the team, but her cheerfulness and friendship with the other members makes wannabee team-leader Jean angry, so he has her snatched, branded and sold as a slave. Flum escapes with the help of her power and a cursed sword. along with the slave girl she recuses, Milkit. Together they set out to become adventurers to pay the bills. They find derision and antagonism at the Adventurer’s Guild, but together they overcome all the very bad odds against their survival and end up thriving.

Reading this brought up a lot of comparisons, as I have, over my years of reading obsessively, read an enormous number of books.  First, the opening premise brought to mind Piers Anthony’s Xanth series, in which protagonist Bink had a similarly extremely powerful and even more extremely annoying magical skill. And, indeed, the beginning seems a little like Xanth, if the focus had been on violent dismemberment and the panty shot obsession was just a little side gig. Because this book is heavy on the grotesque violence.

Which brings me to the second comparison. As you may know, I am fully all-in on the Locked Tomb fandom and obsessive about Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth. So much so that I have actually considered making a Sixth House costume (which is, coincidentally exactly what I wear anyway, with a cloak and few more pens and a caliper in the pockets. It’s even the right color. ^_^ Find your own House here, but I’ve known I was Sixth since the first page. ^_^) In many ways, ROLL OVER AND DIE feels like a 8-bit freeware version of Gideon.

Which is not to say that it is a bad book, even though it might be pushing it to say that it is “Good.” It is heavy on the set-ups of violence against the persons involved who are mostly, but not exclusively, women. Those setups linger just long enough to be triggering if scenes of physical torture, dismemberment, mangling, rape and more general rapaciousness bother you – as they should. The premise makes it completely possible to kill your brain cells reading that and not feel much. In that, I think the author does the readership a disservice. It is one of my two main complaints about this book.

On the good side, the sexist and classist violence and disrespect the women face will not be the main plot, as it was in JK Haru is a Sex Worker in Another World. Equally in the positive column is that the women involved are team-building, in much the same way they do in Sexiled. The characters are relatively likable, and they work well together. The Yuri…well, we’ll get there…

The primary objection I have is that I am simply not okay with “men are vile sexist shitbags to women” as a world-building handwave. Yeah, we get it. Actually, we live it. We don’t need it described to us. 1 out of 5 women have been raped or experienced attempted rape, and 1 in 38 men. That means you absolutely, positively know someone who has been raped. Think of how many people you know. That’s a lot of sexual assault.  I can completely understand that conflict drives growth, and violence against women, and use of people as property are both low-hanging fruit for conflict, (and yes, rape and violence sure can be legit forms of fantasy) but without nuanced writing, this is just torture porn and I am not really here for it. On the positive side, many of the most egregiously vile scenes are cut short, and only the blatantly violent ones are left to play out. Still may not be to your taste, because it is pretty grimdark overall.

Again, on the positive side, not all men in this book are dirtbags. Flum and Apricot receive a lot of kindness from some of the men in the story and, as it goes on, I think there’ll be a balance, but a balance of extremes, on the one hand rapacious dirtbags and the other exceedingly kind and generous men. I hope that the men get to be more fleshed out as, so far at least, the female characters are.

So, let’s talk about the Yuri. Flum and Milkit definitely grow closer, slowly and pretty carefully. The relationship is just beginning to develop as the final scenes play out. It’s played for a very gentle kind of service at the end, but I can’t really complain. Milkit’s backstory precludes anything just happening spontaneously and, thankfully, it’s not handled in a hamfisted manner.

The art for once is pretty good, although we’re told repeatedly that Flum is dressed in sensible clothing and the art never once reflects that, which just pisses me off. Women look good in pants and boots, folks. Stop with the floofy dresses and bloomer-style shorts. At least Milkit’s stupid costume was given a story, even if it’s one of the least believable choices in the books. ^_^;

Ratings:

Art – 7
Story – 7 Grim and grotesque, but not bad
Characters – 8
Service – Mostly of the gross kind, with a bit here and there of dressing and undressing. The Yuri service is absurdly gentle as it has to be to work
Yuri – 4, but no doubt it will climb

Overall – 8

But Erica – you ought to be saying right now – you said that you had two complaints and you only discussed one. What’s the other main complaint?”

I look at you, smiling and say: Well, Milkit is a terrible, awful name, isn’t it? It’s just so bovine and miserable. But that’s not the problem. The main complaint is that Flum Apricot is the most enraging awful protagonist name ever. Flum? FLUM?!? Half my brain was screaming that “It *clearly ought to be Plum, not Flum!” and the other half was screaming “Yo, not better!” in an endless loop.

Horrible, horrible naming. Absolutely ugh-making. Flum Apricot. Enraging. I’m not blaming anyone but it set my brain on fire. ^_^

I genuinely enjoyed kiki’s author’s note and the dithering about the word count. I purchased this digitally on Bookwalker Global and was pretty pleased with the formatting, with loads of white space which made it easier to read.

Here are my pullquote suggestions for this book:

“When life gives fated hero Flum lemons, she picks up a cursed sword and makes *^$!ing lemonade.”

“Legendary warrior Flum and ex-slave Milkit are shining lights in the grimdark.”

“Roll Over and Die is a Funhouse Dark Ride of a novel; an energetic mashup of fantasy, horror and Yuri.”

Adachi and Shimamura, Volume 1 is a brilliant example of excellent translation and adaptation. Molly Lee and Nibedita Sen deserve an award for giving the characters of this novel depth and voice. Everyone who worked on this book did a very excellent job.

And there is where my praise for this light novel ends. In 2013, I picked up the first book of this series and reviewed it here on Okazu. In actual fact, I had also gotten myself the second book of the series, which sat here for literal years while I debated reading it. I never did. This was just about the time the series was picking up popularity in Yuri circles in Japan. But, when I finished read it, I summed the whole thing up thusly, “The entire book had the feel of something written about an emotion by someone who was wholly, vastly unfamiliar with it. ”

My opinion of the author’s work did not change very much when I read several other books by them that were neither good nor bad, but just had that same sense of “a thing I read.” Then I encountered Shoujo Mousouchuu, which had some good features. Then came another book that was forgettable. So when Hitoma Iruma was named the writer for the Regarding Saeki Sayaka series, I was not overwhelmed at the choice. Their work, in my opinion, was inconsistent. In the end the Sayaka novels were very good, so I’m glad about that. The author has clearly leveled up significantly in the last decade.

But here we are, back at the beginning with Adachi and Shimamura and I am again puzzled by this novel. The art and words do not match at all. Shimamura, we are told repeatedly, has highlights in her hair which are wholly absent, but are just rendered as light brown hair. By the end of the book I can barely figure out which of the two blob-faced girls is which, since the hair and behaviors do not match. Neither wears the makeup that is mentioned. Both of them have personalities that make them hard to care about, although I imagine a lot of readers skip “care about” and go straight for “identify with.” As for them being “bad girls,” they are about as bad as an afternoon nap. Asamiya Saki or Kuraku Asuka wouldn’t give them the time of day.

And still, the alien, the cheongsam, the bowling all remain unexplained. I have in the past seven years been told that the series gets better as one reads and the alien is from another series, neither of which changes my opinion because that is not how books work. A writer tells a story that a reader reads. If the reader is required to know a thing, the writer must tell them because that is how stories work. I should not need Internet research to understand an entire plot point because she was a relic from some other series. Nor are books like a job, I shouldn’t need seniority to understand what I m reading. If a reader doesn’t find Book 1 entertaining, they are not going to keep reading because the series will eventually “get better.” I do wonder, though, if the story gets better.

This will not stop some of you from being very angry at my review from 7 years ago…or today’s review. Feel free. We don’t have to agree. That said, I stand by my original review. Neither Adachi nor Shimamura are particularly compelling characters by themselves and they clearly both have communication issues. The story, one hopes, will be them getting more comfortable over time with each other, with themselves and, presumably, with the alien. 

What I can be assured of, is that the team at Seven Seas will do an absolutely superlative job of bringing these two characters to life in English.

Ratings:

Story – 4
Characters – 4
Art – 4
Service – 3 More than I felt it needed
Yuri – 5
Adaptation – 10

Overall – 5

My original simile for this story was “Adachi to Shimamura is like a trifle made from chocolate, limes and mayonnaise, with a red bean filling. What might have otherwise been a pleasant, if sugary, Yuri narrative is made unpalatable by combining infinite inconsequentials with utterly meaningless distractions.”

You’re most welcome to disagree. ^_^

Thank you to Seven Seas for the review copy!

While we are all waiting for the Seven Seas release of I Fell In Love With the Villainess, (of which I had read the first few chapters in Japanese before it was licensed and have forgotten to go back and read more…) I wanted to take a moment to review a different GL Bunko series that I – with at least partial sincerity – hope you will be able to read as well, one day. It has not yet been licensed as of yet.

But before I do, I want to take a moment to revisit the first GL Bunko novel I read, back in 2018. GL Bunko had decided to do their own translations and began with GIRLS KINGDOM 1 & 2, the first two novels in a much larger series. Despite some technical and stylistic problems, I found it to be quite enjoyable. In my review I said, “The unpolished translation actually served the comedy aspect of the book well. What might be less beneficial if the book were to have been a drama worked here…presuming that this was meant to be a comedy.”  I mention this because today’s review will, I think, allow me to respond to this with some expertise. ^_^

Earlier this year I took a look at a third GL Bunko series, Kunoichi Bettegumi Igarashi Satsuki, Volume 1  and found it to be highly entertaining; ridiculous in a hundred different ways, but grin-makingly so. So here we are today, at Kunoichi Bettegumi Igarashi Satsuki, Volume 2 (くノ一別手組ー五十嵐五月).

Igarashi Satsuki is a swordswoman who was hired to be the protector of Vlad Dracula, a silver-haired, white-skinned, red-eyed businesswoman from England (by way of Eastern Europe, we are eventually told.) Satsuki’s life as a trained swordswoman has been completely upended by Vlad. Not only is she now living in the wealthy foreign ghetto in Yokohama, because of her girlfriend maid Clare, she is now reasonably fluent in English, as well.

In Volume 2, the cast is joined by Kinu, Satsuki’s family retainer and highly trained njnja (finally, an actual kunoichi!)

Christmas is coming to Yokohama, and Ambassador Neal is planning a big Christmas party for the English community of Yokohama. Only Mishima-san, the head of what we’d consider the police force, is very anti-foreigner and appalled at the idea of a birthday party for a foreign God on his soil. While Satsuki functions as interpreter, Mishima makes it really clear that if…when…something should happen to the English embassy, it’s not on his hands, except of course, it will be at his instigation.

Worse, Satusuki is asked directly by the Yokohama magistrate -an old friend and mentor- to definitely, positively not be at the party or wear foreign clothes. Just in case, you know.

Clare, on the other hand has a real crisis coming up – she’s been promoted! Admiral Cooper’s daughter Scarlet has gotten Clare a position at the Embassy as a parlor maid. She’s been working on her language and etiquette and this is a huge step up for her…but the Embassy will be moving to Edo in the new year and she won’t see Satsuki anymore! She asks Satsuki to make sure she comes to the Christmas Party.

Vlad hires a Japanese painter who studies European art, Kane, to do some portraits. Kane sees Satsuki and Clare interact and explains Yuri to them, only 150 years before it actually exists as a term,. ^_^

The art is not what I’d hope, but then again, neither is the writing. It has that distinctly fanfic-ish tendency of adding /fact I learned today about a thing/ in the text that is both excruciating and charming. My favorite example is the definition/description of a “waistcoat” as a “kind of a vest” both waistcoat and vest in katakana. As an equivalent, I might describe/define a “wakazashi” as a “kind of katana.” ^_^

Anyway, Satsuki is predictably fitted with dress and, ultimately a suit, thank you very much, and yes goes to the party, fights off the surprise attack with Kinu and gets a kiss under the mistletoe from…Vlad.

The end.

Of course it’s not the end. There is a third book (there’s an assassin after Satsuki!) and yes, I am going to read it. ^_^

Ratings:

Art – Erm…sort of okay?
Story – 8 Vlad might as well be an albino for all the blood she sucks here
Characters – Kooky, kind of lovable and wholly unrealistic
Yuri – 6 See above
Service – Have you read anything I wrote? Satsuki is fitted for clothes… Yes, service.

Overall – 8

The world’s worst vampire is Vlad
Which is to say that she’s not all that bad
That glass isn’t blood, it’s just wine
Her suit’s mighty fine
She just drives Satsuki a little bit mad

But now, after having read 4 and half GL Bunko books, I can finally address that point, from my first review with yes – I believe the comedy to be wholly intentional. These are goofy books and very fun to read. I hope Villainess is similar.

The cover art is Scarlet and Clare.

Artist Kane on the left.
Satsuki’s not-at-all Christmasy dress in the center.
Vlad on the right.

Satsuki is her suit fighting off the surprise attack by anti-foreigner ronin. She likes the boots and pants…it make it easy to kick.

Kinu with her sulfur smoke bombs on the bottom.