Archive for the Now This Is Only My Opinion Category


New Round of "Utter Nonense!"

December 10th, 2009

It’s that time again! Yes! Time for you to send in your questions about whatever and put up with my answers of “whatever.” :-)

For this next round of Utter Nonsense we’re going to have a few simple rules:

1) I will not answer questions about “what is your favorite….” anymore. They distress me, because I don’t *have* favorites, usually.

2) No “ham or cheese” or “Coke or Pepsi” questions. Please. They provide no entertainment to either you or me.

3) If you want to ask me what I see as the future of Yuri or why I like Yuri, I beg you to read all the previous iterations of my answers to these questions. If you have a real question about Yuri that I have not previously addressed, bring it on!

4) Please, please, no questions that can be answered by 30 seconds of actually READING one of my reviews here. (Sorry first question person – I’ve answered that three volumes worth. Search for the title here, or click the “Morinaga Milk” category on the righthand sidebar.)

5) And no “define the term” questions. Go here: http://okazu.blogspot.com/2008/03/okazu-glossary-of-terms.html. I did that already.

As always, I’ll do my best to answer most or all of the questions. I may combine similar questions, or decline altogether if it’s just something mean-spirited or weird.

Above all, funny questions tend to allow for funny answers, so be creative!

You can email me questions or put them in the comments here. I look forward to seeing what you have for me this time!





Why Your Story Was Rejected – The Query Letter Conundrum

December 1st, 2009

Hello –

“Thank you for your submission to “Yuri Monogatari.” We know just how much time goes into the creation of a story, and we appreciate your effort. Unfortunately, your story doesn’t really fit our criteria, and so we’re going to have to pass.

Of course we wish you the very best of luck in your quest to be published, and hope to hear from you again when you have another story that is suitable for the “Yuri Monogatari” series.”

***

There’s nothing fun about rejecting a story. I don’t enjoy it, the creator in question doesn’t enjoy it. We’re all unhappy. But it has to be done.

There are a zillion “so you wanna be an author” books and magazines, and all of them talk about the rejection process. They say it’s inevitable and that it isn’t you and that if you do it *just* right, you’ll get that magical request for more.

This is all true – and it’s all totally, completely untrue, as well. Like mostly everything, there’s an almost random combination of luck and hard work that goes into being published. When people receive a rejection, many want to know “why?” they were rejected. That conundrum obsesses most new artists and writers. I thought I’d discuss *why*. It won’t make you feel better, probably. It might even make you feel worse. But here’s what it looks like from my end.

Here’s some of the things that might help you understand *why* your story was rejected:

1) Have you EVER picked up any of that publisher’s books?

No? Why not? By actually reading a couple books in that imprint you might have a good clue what the publisher likes and dislikes. Your query letter may be making it plain that you have never read one of that publisher’s books. That’s not going to give a favorable impression. This is true for other media as well. Know what the publisher publishes.

2) Have you read and grokked the Submission Guidelines?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you have three lines to impress me. One line has to be, “Hello, my name is… and I am writing to you because/with/for…”

That leaves you two lines to be intelligent, polite and show you “get* what I want. No, that isn’t a lot of space. Almost without exception, that is more than enough. If you are sending me a story in which a character drinks herself to death over a breakup and nothing *happens* as a result of that, there’s a good chance I’ll reject your story. If your email is filled with typos – or a really poor grasp of grammar – I’ll reject your story. It’s not personal, I just don’t have any interest in teaching you how to write. Or draw, so don’t tell me that you don’t know what you’re doing. I’m looking for some sign that your work is *what I want to publish.*

3) Your vision is obscure.

No, I really do not understand what you mean when you say, “they work it out” or “there is a disagreement” or “wackiness ensues.” And frankly, I don’t think you know what you mean, either. Using a filler phrase or marketing copy is not the same as telling me what your story is about. Don’t be clever. Just tell me what I want to know.

4) You reply to my inquiry with a million questions.

“Here’s my story. How do you want that? In your guidelines you say this size – does that mean this size? Or can I use some other size? How about color? Can I do a color page? What about the artist, because I have a story but no artist and…”

Hold off there for second. We don’t have a done deal yet and if I do accept you into the publication, don’t you think I’d tell you some of that important stuff? Puppy-ish behavior is cute in some places – not in a query letter. It shows a lack of professionalism and an inability to understand the process that has to occur for things to happen.

5) I don’t like your story.

No, really. I think your story idea bites. It’s misery with no meaning to it. It’s not nihilistic, it just sucks. You had an idea and didn’t flesh it out, so any reader reading it would want to stab themselves in the eye after three pages of your character doing nothing but exposition on a situation that happened previously and basically has little to no relationship to the now.

Or maybe your story is over-complex, because you don’t really get that an anthology is filled with short stories that must stand alone and you’re convinced that your Prelude to the Prologue of the Great American Graphic Novel will work just fine on its own without any explanation of the characters or situation.

Or, you’ve sent me the 10000000000000th version of “Girl Meets Girl. They like each other. The End.”

Or, you’re 16 and you write like you’re 16. It’s no one’s fault. You just need a LOT of practice and polishing before you learn to write well. At 16, very few people write well.

Or you’re 40 and you write like you’re 16. Then you just aren’t the writer you think you are. If I can’t follow your story in 3-4 sentences or 3-4 paragraphs, I’m not inclined to try 24 pages of it.

I don’t have to like every story in our books. But I do have to stand behind them. I have in the past made exceptions – great story/bad art, vice versa or something else. But don’t count on me doing that for you.

6) It’s personal

This is REALLY, REALLY rare, but yes, there are times when I’m rejecting *you*. You rubbed me the wrong way by writing a jerky query letter and I don’t care if you’re Shakespeare and Rembrandt rolled into one, you blew it.

***

The best way to fix all of these things is to do your research. Actually pick up a book or two from that publisher (or that the agent said they represented.)

Look at what the publisher is not saying in their guidelines as well as what they do say. If the publisher says, “It doesn’t all have to be happy, but we prefer that” then when you send a Goth-dark wallow in angst, don’t be surprised if it’s rejected. Also, if the guidelines say “we’re only taking completed stories at this time” and you send something you haven’t even begun to write much less draw, then don’t be offended when the answer is “no thank you.”

Most agents, editors, publishers are as gentle as possible when they reject you. (Okay, some aren’t as gentle as possible, but most are) and yes, we are aware that it sucks to be you. I swear we aren’t chortling on the other end, glad to have crushed your dreams. And you may, yes, have to internalize the fact that you are not as good as you think you are. There’s no soft, nice, easy remedy for that. Hurtful truth is hurtful.

Honestly, knowing “why” I rejected your letter probably won’t make you feel better. But you can be darn sure that I take no pleasure in telling you no. What I’d like is to have a glut of amazing lesbian stories to tell. The answer to the conundrum of “why” is always “because we’re sorry, but you just aren’t doing what we want to publish/edit/represent.”





The Great Manga Gift Guide – Okazu Edition

November 26th, 2009

Here it is, my friends, the 2009 Okazu Edition of the Great Manga Gift Guide. These are my suggestions for manga that would make great gifts for the fan(s) in your life.

***

Dogs, Bullets Carnage – This title is unbridled action. It’s a bunch of broken, violent people in a violent world. The art is *very* stark, which works totally for what little of the story exists. Mostly, the story is the frame for the fighting. There is a chick with a weapon, but don’t look for more than that.

Who Would Like It: Not for beginner manga fans, but if your gift recipient thinks they’ve seen it all – here’s something with all of it at once. :-)

Kimi ni Todoke – This is one of my wife’s favorite series right now. It’s got that thing that we westerners so often miss in manga – someone who just spits it out already. The protagonist is…nice. And the fun of the series is watching everyone else realize that, too. This female lead is no typical “he’s mean to me because he loves me” heroine.

Who Would Like It: Got a shoujo fan (or closet shoujo fan) in your family or friends? Give them this for something that is totally feel-good, without making you put your brain on hold.

Black Lagoon – Girls, Guns, Drugs, and loads of crazy. This is actually one of my favorite series overall right now. As there isn’t the vaguest hint of Yuri, I have no reason to review it here, but hot damn, this is awesome manga. It’s just chockful of loony women who are armed to the teeth and not afraid to pull the trigger. Yums.

Who Would Like It: Action fans, anyone who spends a lot of time watching Spike TV and anyone who likes women who kill first, then tell you to *^&# off! later will love this.

MW – There’s a reason why Tezuka is consistently held up as a master of the craft. In this volume, he deals with “Homosexuality” in nearly as insensitive a way as possible – and it totally works. In this fraught horror story in which a broken man seeks to punish everyone for his existence, the one stable, normal and happy person is a lesbian editor who appears on only a few pages. Hardcore angst and melodrama, a fistful of self-loathing and misanthropy.

Who Would Like It: This book is great for folks who like it dark, with an even darker background for contrast and horror fans.

Aria – Nothing happens in this series. But it happens beautifully, and with grace and humor and joie de vivre. And scenery porn.

Who Would Like It: Perfect for the jaded, the cynical and any fan that still wants to recapture a feeling of childlike joy at, well, everything.

Iono-sama Fanatics – this volume about a totally lesbian Queen of some small country who happens to love girls with black hair is a very pretty and very sweet fantasy. It’s not often we get to enjoy fantasy romance that’s almost entirely angst-free.

Who Would Like It: Readers who love their manga cute, sweet, harmless and did I mention cute, will love this. It’s charming, as in “Princess Charming.” :-) (I guess that would be Queen Charming, huh?)

WORKS – I haven’t given this book enough air time, really and I blame myself. Tadeno-san has been cranking out Yuri manga since long before you ever heard of it and, although these stories are early (and therefore a little dated,) they still stand the test of time as solid looks at lesbian life and love.

Who Would Like It: Self-serving, yes. Still, a great Yuri primer for an interested adult. A good choice for a lesbian who doesn’t know Yuri yet.

Kashimashi~ Girl Meets Girl Omnibus 1 and Omnibus 2 – This silly story of a boy who becomes a girl and suddenly find herself the center of a love triangle still stands as one of the best adaptations of a manga from Japanese to English I’ve ever seen.

Who Would Like It: Not for beginner Yuri fans, but for folks who can take a handwave or two in their lives.

Azumanga Daioh Omnibus 1 – This collection is a reworking of one of the funniest 4-panel comics to hit American bookshelves to date; there’s really no downside to this volume. It’s a nice chunky book, it’s got some gut-bustingly funny bits and a lot of “heh” parts and is overall a lot of fun. And hey, there’s Kaorin and her totally hopeless love for Sakaki.

Who Would Like It: If you missed this the first time around, now’s a *great* time to add it to your wish list, or get it for a friend, then “borrow” it. :-)

Hayate x Blade – Are you totally unsurprised that this is a Great Manga Gift in my opinion? First of all – funny. Crazy, stupid, funny. Snort-Laugh Out Loud funny. Then there is awesome action. And there are girls. Almost 100% girls, who are in romantic partnerships with darn little romance, honestly, but that doesn’t stop us from projecting.

Who Would Like It: I wouldn’t get this for a little kid, because there is a lot of violence, but for anyone who is getting jaded on service and lack of plot drivers in manga, anyone who longs for action and comedy and something intelligent, anyone who wants a story written by someone who can actually write – hand them this and step back if they are drinking something.

Volume 1 Volume 2 Volume 3 Volume 4 Volume 5

 

Ed Sizemore also suggested we all add a “piece of coal” book, one that was really not good and you’d give to someone you wanted to punish. Clearly, I’d pick Mariaholic for the role. In fact, I’d give you my copy, but I put it through the shredder.

Thanks to David Welsh for coming up with this fabulous idea – and thanks to all the bloggers and readers who participate!

Now, here’s where you come in! What I want to know is – what are your Great Manga Gift Suggestions – and what book is your piece of coal? Let’s have ’em in the comments!





Manga Readers Read Badly, Anime Watchers Watch Badly

November 6th, 2009

I’m on my way to present at an event tonight, so don’t have time for a review, but I wanted to share something I’ve been thinking for a while…and open it up for discussion.

When I was a kid comics readers were also book readers. Voracious book readers. Kids who read comics read pretty much anything that had words on it and for ages every comic fan I knew read way above their “appropriate” age level. We were the only kids not surprised in sex ed class, because we’d all been reading books for adults for so long that it wasn’t a shock to the system how that all worked.

I can’t help but notice that many manga and anime fans these days seem to be…pretty bad readers. They don’t get literary or artistic references. In fact, if it’s not games, they often miss that anything all was referenced. They haven’t read classics in mostly any genre. If it wasn’t a movie, they’ve never heard of it.

I’m not saying every reader of manga is a bad reader or every watcher of anime is a bad watcher, but based on comments here and on forums Internet-wide and in fansubs, where references are often missed in herds, some folks really need to crack open a book without pictures from time to time.

So, here’s the discussion part.

If you were going to suggest *two* novels for a manga reader to read to extend their understanding of the world they inhabit, which novels would it be? It can be any genre, history, myth, sci-fi, non-fiction, anything. If you are suggesting a book like Romance of the Three Kingdoms, it might be helpful to suggest an edition or ISBN, as well.

My two suggestions are:

Summer of the Ubume, by Natsuhiko Kyogoku, recently translated by Vertical. It covers a *lot* of ground through Japanese religion, mysticism, the world of Yokai and science. All very useful information if you want to understand tons of references in anime and manga. And there was, gods help us, an anime based on the next book of the series, Mouryou no Hako. Yes, it’s that author.

My second suggestion may seem totally off the wall, but trust me there’s a reason I’m suggesting it. If you haven’t already read One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn, I beg you to do it now. It’s a brilliant tale of human nature. Which is *exactly* what manga and anime fans seem to lack – a critical understanding of human nature. Not only does a little dose of Stalinist Russsia make you realize how wonderful your life is, Solzhenitsyn is simply a great writer.

I’ll take the best and most cogent comments (suggestions with commentary on why it’s a good choice) and move them to the body of the post with links for easier access.

And let me remind you that classic literature is often found for *free* in your local library. So you don’t really have an excuse to not at least try a book or two.

So..let’s have ’em – what do you think people ought to read in order to be better readers of manga and watchers of anime?

***

WOW! What fantastic suggestions! Here are a few that are either extremely popular, or just amazing, “You really ought to read this” kind of books. I’ll break them down into a few categories for ease of understanding the motivation behind the suggestion. But don’t limit yourself to these – read all the comments and read all the books. I’ve added a few to my own to-read list, in fact. And please remember, you can find almost all of these and the ones suggested in the comments at your local library – for FREE.

Japanese Literature

Kwaidan – A must-read for understanding of Japanese spirits and monsters, known as yokai.
Summer of the Ubume – a must-read for psychology meets yokai
Tale of Genji – Aside from being the oldest novel, it’s the oldest josei work. You’re read this a million times even if you’ve never read it once – it’s about a pretty boy, the women he treats like crap and his clothes.

Russian Literature

Crime and Punishment – As Kate mentions, many Japanese manga artists went through a “Russian” phase. This book is a classic of psychology.
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich – because this lesson of managing expectations is timeless.

There are no new plots

Shakespeare – He did it all.
Decameron – Boccacio did it all first.

Classic Girl’s Literature

Anne of Green Gables – intense friendship between girls, echoed by practically every schoolgirl story ever. Got your souer right here.

Little Women – Classic, classic, classic. And mentioned in every third school play.

Little House on the… – no one mentioned this, but this, along with Little Women *defined* American girls’ literature for a century, in the same way Hana Monogatari defined Japanese girl’s lit.

Human nature

1984 and Animal Farm – These two brutal, ham-handed allegories on politics make sense every day in every place on the planet.

Tale of Two Cities – Deception, love, self-sacrifice and giving one up for the team maps perfectly to just about any anime or manga.

and in a category by itself;

Just READ this already

Alice in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass – These stories have been ripped, stomped, shredded, parodied in too many anime or manga series to count. It has instantly recognizable visual imagery and is, after the Bible and Shakespeare, the third most quoted book in the *world*. If you haven’t read the original, you’ve missed.

Read. It’ll make you a better person and a better fan!





Shelf Porn, Okazu Edition

October 7th, 2009

No, I am not avoiding doing a review. If anything, I really need to do a review, because I have piles all over the place. But no. I am weak. Jason Thompson said that he would like to see my shelf porn and, weak-willed fangirl that I am, I obliged. I’ve always avoided this, because my collection is spread out through the house. Now, here’s selected pieces of it.

This picture is the one shelf I have of English-language manga. The bottom shelf is two books deep. I don’t keep much of the English stuff I read, because I prefer to read in Japanese. Not because I’m a purist (although I am) or elitist (guilty as charged) but because it takes me way longer to read it in Japanese and so I feel like I get my money’s worth. :-)

Click on the pictures to see a bigger version, but don’t come whining to me when it’s just a bigger version of my crap piled on a shelf. lol

This is a picture of my old shelves. These came built-in to the room and every shelf except the bottom one is two-deep. The top shelves are mostly my wife’s stuff, with some of mine mixed in.

The middle two shelves have a lot of Yuri, a lot of other and a lot of really other. And some of my slightly less beloved anime.

The bottom shelves are my art books, and random items that had no home that fit there back in the day when there was room on that shelf.

There’s no rhyme or reason here. Just a lot of books. I can *usually* find everything I’m looking for. Except when I can’t.

 This is my beloved new set of shelves, built for me by my father-not-in-law and covered with all the things I love so much I want them practically within arm’s reach of my sofa.

As you can see, I’m way out of space, but I don’t want to go two deep yet. I’m just not ready to go there.

Also featured on these shelves is my filthy little habit of collecting 4-inch plastic dolls and other random goods.

What you can’t see at all in this picture is that the bottom row on these shelves has all the Yuri Shimai/Hime/HimeS and Monogatari volumes. Tsubomi sits awkwardly above them, because it doesn’t really play well with the others.

This isn’t the greatest picture, but you can just about make out all the Yuri anthology mags, and the talking Kero-chan my wife bought me years ago for my birthday and the Asamiya Saki figurine she got me for another birthday (standing in front of my original run of Sukeban Deka, of course.) I even unboxed the Sachiko and Yumi mug Bruce broughtback from the Maria-sama ga Miteru event last year in Japan, just to  incite jealousy share.


These innocuous looking piles are my Mist and Morning 2 collection. I just don’t have anywhere else to put them. :-(

These next two pictures are the pride and joy of my collection. These are my doujinshi bins. They are labeled because we brought them all to the Yuricon 2007 Yurisai event. I love my doujinshi. Thanks to contributions from Hagiwara Mami-san, James Welker and Rica Takashima, my historical collection is probably pretty priceless. (Because who else would *want* them? lol)

That’s it for my collection. My wife has her own shelfporn, but I’m not sharing her dirty secrets with you. This is the bulk of my collection, although you really never see the stuff in the back of the two-deep shelves. You’ll just have to imagine. :-)

I hope you enjoyed this tour of my collection. The gift shop is just around the corner. Please come back soon!

10/8: Whoo-hoo! Jason T. responded with a fabulous bit of double entendre’: “Thank you for sharing! It’s even bigger and more impressive than I imagined! :)”