The Worst Light Novel Ever

December 25th, 2009

If you’ve been following me on Twitter or Facebook, you know that I have been reading the world’s worst book.

As I’ve been reading it, I’ve been thinking about what makes it the worst thing I’ve ever read. After I tell you what it’s about, I’ll tell you why.

Memeko is an extremely youthful-looking agent of the secret organization Al Hazan, that collects and protects rare eyeglasses. They are attempting to get a hold of the rare and dangerous Medusa glasses that, like the rare and dangerous Gorgon glasses, turn people into stone. Memeko is a Glasses-User, and can make a kind of energy knife shoot from her glasses-wearing gaze.

But, for all her unusual strength with eyeglasses, Memeko is terrified of the world outside eyeglasses. When her handler, Lucia, asks her to attend and infiltrate Misono Gakuin to find the secret to the eyeglass theft that goes on there, Memeko finds it hard to talk to anyone who does not wear eyeglasses. In her homeroom that leaves her with one option – the tall, beautiful Ai.

I will not torture you with descriptions of the scenes that in another action book would be the “secret agent cleaning a gun” scene, or the “love interest and agent getting to know each other scene,” but I will mention that when Ai is saved by Memeko’s super Al Hazan eyeglasses skillz, she falls into the standard pattern of believing in and relying on Memeko.

Let me cut to the chase – the traitor was their homeroom teacher who was obsessed with Ai’s beauty and who stole all the eyeglasses to find the perfect ones for her. He attempts to scare Ai by telling her the truth behind Memeko’s skills, but it backfires and their love for one another defeats his ridiculous plan.

In the end, Memeko returns to the school, not as a secret agent, but as a 16-year old and a friend and probably soon-to-be-lover of Ai. And now she can talk to people who don’t wear eyeglasses, too. Phew. Happy end, except for the bit where there is a implication that there might be a sequel. AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!! As it happens there are at least two sequels. Scary, huh?

Okay, so, here’s why I think this is the worst Light Novel ever. Not because it was badly written. In fact, it was actually pretty well written, so scenes were exactly where they belonged in a genre title like this and the dialogue was exactly the same kind of jaded lines you’d expect from an action-adventure story. No, the real reason I think this is the worst Light Novel ever is because the author clearly felt that if you were going to buy a story called Kanoujo ha Megane-HOLIC (彼女は眼鏡-HOLIC) then you deserved whatever you got.

And he was right.

Ratings:

Art – 5
Characters – 2
Story – 2
Yuri – 2
Loser Fan Eyeglasses Fetishist – 451

Overall – 2

This book actually beats out Adam Smith’s On the Wealth of Nations for the worst book I have ever read. Congrats.



Yuri Manga: Tsubomi, Volume 4

December 23rd, 2009

Tsubomi Volume 4 is good example of why it’s worth reading a few volumes of any anthology magazine before you give up.

It’s not that Tsubomi is perfect, just that it’s better than it was. Some of the stories have had a chance to get their feet under them and get some speed going after a soft start. Other stories are jumping into the race at speed. Others stories are still stumbling along, looking a little worse for the wear as a result.

This volume gets off to a strong, if predictable, start with Kurogane Kenn’s story of a teacher and the student she’s fallen for. Thoughts of Christmas presents and taking care of each other start to slip for both into dangerous territory.

Yoshitomi Akihito has two stories of friends in love with each other’s sister and who will *obviously* end up together. This series never fails to bore and annoy me, because he’s a better writer than this and compared to the more sincere stories in the collection, this story seems plain old skanky and tired.

Most of the stories play it safe in Story A space. There’s a girl, she’s in love with another girl. Sometimes they realize they love one another – sometimes we’re left wallowing in the pre-work of “Oh my god! I’m in love with her!” Even Morinaga Milk’s series is treading a well-worn path to nowhere at the moment.

The stories are mostly non-committal, pleasant and some of the pairs are adults (in theory at least, they often still look ridiculously childish.)

Tsubomi has finally reached the space where Yuri Shimai started, so I’m hopeful, but not expecting, a little growth at this point. I do wish we could skip all this girl meets girl nonsense and start with good solid stories about girls in love, but for so many this many-times retold tale is what Yuri is. I will keep my fingers crossed that the authors want to and are allowed to be a little more creative in the next 4 volumes.

Ratings:

Overall – 7

Okay, okay, I’ll give it one more issue…. :-)

Many, many thanks to Okazu Hero George R for thinking of me as he shopped around Japan to provide more Yuri to review! Thanks, George!



Top Ten Yuri Manga of 2009

December 22nd, 2009

Here we are once more, looking back at a year that is never going to end fast enough. lol

This year has been pretty special in a lot of ways both good and bad but, in terms of Yuri – it’s been pretty darn good. The odd-year Yuri phenomenon hit once more and this time we were practically *inundated* with good, bad and indifferent Yuri series. Yay us!

One of the striking differences for me, as I started to work on my Top Ten Lists, was that for the very first time since I began this (somewhat tedious) round-up of the year, the Top Ten Anime list was easier to build than the Top Ten Manga. Not because there wasn’t good manga, mind you – there was actually too much manga – but for once we had more than enough anime to choose from.

I can see another striking difference, but I’m going to wait until the very end to explain. See if you can see it too, as you read the list.

Because the English-language picks in manga this year were, with only a few exceptions, utterly lame, I’ve combined my Japanese and English picks into one consolidated list.

Let’s all take a deep breath – here we go!

10. Gunsmith Cats Burst Volumes 4 & 5 (Japanese & English)

We knew it, didn’t we? Despite the disclaimer in Misty’s bio, we always knew she had the hots for Rally. And sheesh, how obvious was Goldie’s obsession? But mostly, we knew all along that Rally’s gay and just more in love with her car and her guns than with any other human. Sonoda finally, finally got around to showing the world what we always knew – Rally Vincent is a lesbian magnet – and what we guessed – she’s a damn good kisser, too. lol

9. Hayate x Blade (Japanese & English)

I’m besotted with this series for any number of reasons. I’m well aware that it’s actually pretty low on the Yuri scale, with only Jun playing overtly for our team, and everyone else stuck in akogare or shinyuu space. But hell, it’s about sisters-in-arms fighting for their pride, their lives and their loved ones. It’s about guts and glory and reaching for the stars. It’s basically the one manga that makes me laugh, cry, laugh and snort in like, 4 panels. And it makes me want to hit the lottery so I can start a high school just like Tenchi Academy and become Hitsugi. lol

It’s really my favorite series in English or Japanese. It’s number 9 on this year’s list.

8. Linkage/Butterfly 69 (Japanese)

One of the things I look for in collected volumes is variety. I want shiny stories, and silly stories, and moving stories, and passionate stories. I want a creator to show off their art skills and their writing skills. Both of these collections have exactly those qualities I look for. There’s depth even though the stories are short, there’s variety of personality and voice. These collections have young women dealing with their first love and older women dealing with their true love.There’s passion in the story telling, and sometimes in the story itself. They are a delightful mix of everything – just the way I like it.

7. Tsubomi/Comic Lily/Shoujo Yuri/Yuri Hime/Yuri Hime S/Yuri Monogatari (Japanese & English)

Good heavens – 6 Yuri anthologies in one year. I’m…flabbergasted. It’s a landslide of Yuri, from brand new artists, from established artists, from well-known doujinshi artists that have never been seen by the “mainstream” audience before. I don’t know what the next 5 years will bring, but 2009 brought as close to an explosion of Yuri as we’re likely to see for a while. Wow. Let’s wallow in all the companies that see Yuri as an area for expansion – and let’s let them know that there’s an overseas market by buying their books!

6. Papaya Gundan (Japanese)

This manga was a sleeper hit for me. It came out of nowhere, told a story I hadn’t read seventy-five thousand times already, the girl got the girl – even asked her to marry her – and the alternative family built from the affection the hostess bar workers have for each other wins. There’s no way you’re likely to see this any time soon in English, but if you can read Japanese, it’s a surprising, fun read.

5. Ame-iro Kouchakan Kandan (Japanese)

Squee. Seriously. Only Fujieda has the magic to make me squee over something so moe. Another story about an adult and the young woman who loves her, with a slow, slow, slow relaxed pace that make me feel at ease – just like a good cup of tea. I’m in no rush at all for Sarasa and Seriho to get together because I’m enjoying them being clueless. lol All I ask is that when they do get together, I want a massive cross-over with all of Fujieda’s characters, darnit. (Like there’s a chance that that won’t happen…! lol)

4. Sasamekikoto (Japanese)

Where Maria+ Holic took the typical tropes of Yuri and stomped all over them with jackboots, Sasamekikoto presents them with humor – not afraid to poke and tease, but subtle enough to know when to stop. It’s a comedy, it’s a drama, and it’s nowhere near resolved. I’m interested to see where this series takes Ushio and Sumi. It transfered much better than I expected to anime, as a bonus. :-)

3. Hanjuku Joshi/Girl Friends (Japanese)

For most fans of “Yuri” right now, there are two indomitable names – creators who have forged their own path in the genre when there was barely a genre to create in. Morinaga Milk and Morishima Akiko both have transformed the Yuri landscape over the years. These two series are gently, but irrevocably, shifting the boundaries of Yuri into realistic story-telling about women in love with women. Like a Yuri glacier, they’ve told our stories – our real stories – about fear, and loss, and hope and love.

It’s my sincere pleasure to put these two series at Number Three and I hope that one or both will one day make it over the ocean to these shores soon.

2. Aoi Hana (Japanese)

Like the above names, Shimura Takako’s name would have to be added to the Yuri Hall of Fame. The anime sort of overtook the manga in the news and in the discussions, but this manga series is still magnificent. There’s a real story in here, told beautifully, sensitively, about a girl you can imagine you know and about her dealing with her feelings for other girls. It’s about the friends and people around her that care about her and support her, and the people whose lives she affects. It’s a gentle story that doesn’t shy away from harsh reality and bad decisions, but always comes back to a place of simple pleasure in friendship. Like the old school buildings Fumi falls in love with, I’ve fallen a bit for Fumi and her friends and I’m glad to return over and over to what I consider to be the second best series of the year.

IMHO, the Number One best Yuri Manga of the year was…

1. Octave (Japanese)

I don’t know where to begin with this series. It’s…spectacular. I get angry, I laugh, I cry, I wait patiently for Yukino to become her own person.

It’s about sex and love and attraction and affection. Both of the leads are adult women, arguably both of them are bisexual, which is remarkable in a serious manga. The relationship between them is real and lovely. This would make a stellar live-action drama.

I can’t think of a better series to offer up as consideration to any company that might want to bring a really excellent Yuri series over here. Targeted towards adults, who are the ones who actually *buy* manga these days, Octave would rock the josei manga world if someone let it.

For all these things Octave is my Top Yuri manga series of 2009.

***

So, did you see the striking difference? In seven spots out of ten at least part of the story included an adult woman in love with another woman. Think about it….think about how amazing that is compared to past years which were all schoolgirls, all the time. Sure, there’s still plenty of school girls and you know, that’s okay. It’s just cool to note that slowly, Yuri is starting to look a little like stories about and by lesbian and bi women.

Feel free to join the Top Ten fun and add your nominations for #1 manga series of the year in the comments – I look forward to reading your thoughts!



Transistor Tea Set Manga, Volume 2

December 21st, 2009

You may remember from Volume 1, that Suzu is a high school student with a huge mecha obsession and mad skillz in electronics, who lives and runs a small shop in Akihabara Electric Town. Or not but, in any case, that’s what Transistor Tea Set (トランジスタティーセット ~電気街路図~ ) is about.

In Volume 1, Suzu is joined by Sairi, a younger girl who has a crush on Suzu and her old childhood friend Midori, who has a crush on Suzu. Which may still be true for Volume 2, but is mostly lost in the crush of “Akihabara- and otaku-fantasy things we need to shove into this volume.”

So Volume 2 begins with Suzu teaching a class of typically bratty kids about the joys of electronics. The kids misbehave until boss Sairi shows up and puts them in their place, but the emotional damage has been done.

Most of the volume is spent introducing and abusing two new characters, Kiriko and Emita, members of the Girl’s Electronics Club at Suzu’s school. First, they arrive to recruit Suzu, but eventually find themselves working for Midori as maids in the cafe. Kiriko is well suited to play a tsundere Goth Loli and Emita on account of her short hair and height, makes a nice onabe (FtM crossdresser) in the style of a host bar or Takarazuka.

Nothing much happens in Volume 2, just lots of character interaction. Both Midori’s and Sairi’s crushes on Suzu take a back seat to cosplay, maids and Midori’s anime creation (something that would sell well if it was actually animated.)

We don’t get to see the headless robot maid again, which made me sad. I’ll hold out hope for her return in Volume 3. :-)

Ratings:

Art – 6
Characters – 7
Story – 6
Yuri – 2
Service – 6

Overall – 6

This volume marks the first of many that I will be reviewing courtesy of Okazu Hero George R, and his kind attentions to my Japanese Yuri Wish List. Thank you so much George for your sponsorship – you’re a real Okazu Hero!



Yuri Manga:Tenbin ha Hana to Asobu, Volume 2

December 20th, 2009

Welcome to the second and final volume of Tenbin ha Hana to Asobu (天秤は花と遊ぶ). I think I understand the title now.

But that’s the end of the story. Let’s start with the beginning.

Youko is a transfer student to this particular iteration of elite girl’s school and her guide around the school is the White Rose, Shuu (which means red. Ha?) Shuu, Yohko learns, is a blood-drinking human and, oh by the way, genderless until “she” turns 18 and takes the gender of the gender whose blood she drinks most. Yohko likes Shuu and is glad to be her soda fountain. But oh noes! someone knows Shuu’s secret.

Actually, no, the secret the secret letter writer knows is nothing to worry about, and the whole kerfuffle is clearly a clever way to introduce Popular Girl Aika and her Best Friend Forever, Rico.

Nudged on by her brother, Shuu is having issues with her feelings for Yohko, while Yohko is ferreting out the identity of the girl who wrote her a love letter. She is very sweet and kind about it when she does find the girl. Shuu is also dealing with underclassman Misora’s raging case of crush, but again, Yohko comes to the rescue and treats Misora with respect and kindness, even as she deals the final blow to Misora’s hopes.

Shuu tries to relax, but find herself getting all hot and bothered while reading a teen romance series – even going so far as to imagine herself and Yohko kissing! Shuu’s even more amazed to learn that it is Rico who authors the series, in a chapter where Rico goes missing and Aika becomes extremely depressed as a result. Aika tells Shuu that if they were male/female, she and Rico would definitely be considered “going out.”

Shuu tries to figure out what to do with her feelings for Yohko, and her brother points out that, if she continues to feed from Yohko, she’ll become a girl who is in love with a girl. Shuu pushes Yohko away for a while, but by the end of the book and the series, has decided that she really doesn’t care. The choice is not hard after all. She likes Yohko and likes her blood and that’s the way it is. The scales balance at last.

And, erm, the series ends there.

What made the series actually work is Yohko. She’s fun, lively, down-to-earth, but not stupid or provincial. The whole school steadily, irrevocably, comes to move at her pace – a smart, snappy pace into a bright future with a smile at what they might find there.

Fluff, fluff, fluff. Like cotton candy with a slight metallic aftertaste. ^_^

Ratings:

Art – 7
Story – 6
Characters – 7
Yuri – 4
Service – 1

Overall – 7

The whole vampire thing could have been thrown out and everything left as is and it would have been fine. Really.