As I re-watch Uta-Kata, I am reminded that, no matter how mature we think we are, we really are no more than very large infants, driven by very basic needs. I realize this primarily because I have an ear infection and it is making me exceeding cranky. Which means that I approach the anime already predisposed to being unpleasant about it.

And there is plenty to be unpleasant about in Uta-Kata. So much so, that I will confine myself to only a very few negative comments about it.

Let’s start with the end. Saya says that “Mirrors reflect the true reality” or some such nonsense. This is not true on the face of it – we all know that mirrors reflect the opposite of reality. And if Ichika had been paying attention in science class, she’d have known that too. (C.p. What You Need to Know to become a Magical Girl)

Among all the truly problematic things in this anime the other standout problematic thing is that it’s a complete waste of time. By which I mean that we know that at least two “tests” have failed to gain an answer from within the confines of the two stupid choices the tested offer. And a post-failed test discussion implies that other failures have occurred too. So, hey, if you keep conducting the same test with the same parameters and don’t get either of the results you expect, sense would lead you to maybe question the validity of the test. Unless the real reason for the test is simply to make a child’s life miserable to force them to grow the fuck up…how’s that for a profound analogy for adolescence?

There is Yuri in the second half of Uta-Kata. This is undeniable. In episode 9, Keiko and Sayaka become a couple sort of not-really unexpectedly.  Manatsu kisses Ichika in a not-friend kind of way at the end, and for the one or two BL fans out there, there’s some BL, which had been implied between Sei and Kai pretty much from the beginning.

Ratings:

Art – Sigh. I just can’t like it, because of the fanservice – 4
Characters – By the end, the only character I really liked was Michiru
Story – 4
Yuri – 5
Service – 9

Overall – 5

In conclusion my ear hurts, and Uta-Kata was not what it might have been had anyone cared.

Fans of Puella Magi Madoka Magica really ought to watch Uta-Kata. (Of course, being fans of Madoka, they will likely feel obliged to feel that Madoka is superior, but that’s a different issue. ^_^) For what Madoka is attemtping now, Uta-Kata did some years ago.

Uta-Kata is, like Madoka, a dark look at the the concept of magical girls. It begins with the words “Sorry, Ichika,” and the phrase “season of trials,” so if we’re paying even a little attention, we know that we’re not in for a happy ride. And, although our “magic sidekick” is human-shaped, Manatsu says, “Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to sell me your soul or anything,” with the same wide–eyed smiling-without-smiling face Kyubei lies with.

Uta-Kata is the story of a girl, Ichika, dragged randomly into a series of tests in which she gains great power…but loses everything else she likes about herself in the process.

As I watched Disk 1, I pondered why, exactly, this anime left me feeling yucky more than anything else. I’ve come up with a few reasons:

1) The service is a major hurdle. It’s scuzzy. It’s gratuitous. It’s pointless and whole episodes are constructed to create situations to specifically highlight crotch, breast and ass shots. And the underwear. Good heavens, the unending obsession with underwear.

2) The second hurdle is the always awkward, occasionally ridiculous twists of the plots. In the second episode, a male acquaintance becomes physically violent for no real reason, the third episode is a pile of grim and creepy wrapped around “Ichika loses Dad’s watch.” The feeling of grim and creepy continues, but we are also forced to deal with…

3) “I know something you don’t know.” There are 5 main characters in this story and of them four know exactly what’s going on. Guess which one of the five is the only one who doesn’t? If you guessed Ichika, you’d be right.

4) Everyone has *issues* but nothing actually happens. The tagline used for the third episode, “And that’s how everything was resolved. But I was left with a bitter feeling,” is a good tagline for every episode.

5) There is no grand scheme. That is to say, there is a *scheme* but it is given very little context and there does not seem to be a greater plan. In Madoka, we learn why magical girls exist, and what their relationship to witches are. Here, Saya wanders around torturing young people “because.” We just have to accept that some perfectly nice young people will have to be tested…because they do.

6) I’ve saved the biggest hurdle for last. The service is a salacious glance at female characters – undressing them repeatedly for the titillation of the audience. More problematic than this (and let me express that it is quite problematic for me) is the salacious undressing of the girls’ subconscious for the audience’s titillation. This actually creeps me out more than the seriously creepy service. Why is watching Ichika suffering fun? Ick, ick and double ick.

All of this combines for a very unsatisfying first half to this anime. I know it will improve, but I can’t forget what I wrote about it the first time, “the first seven episodes just suck.” And so they do. But, if you can stick with it, as the grim/creepy ratchets up into full-blown dark and gothic, this series becomes something your can – and should – watch.

Ratings withheld until review of Disk 2

As I noted a few weeks ago, the anime Digimon Tamers is now available on Hulu.com. This has provided me a chance to revisit one of the most remarkable Saturday-morning cartoons I’ve ever watched.

Digimon follows the same formula that made Pokemon a hit – young people “collect” creatures, and participate in fights so the creatures can “evolve” to higher power levels. In Digimon Tamers, which was the third anime series of the franchise, there is a card/computer game version of “Digimon,” which is played by all of our principle characters. As a result of several plot complications, actual Digimon are transported from the “Digital World” to our world. The plot follows these Digimon and their human counterparts, their “Tamers.”

The Tamers are Takato, the Digimon anime franchise equivalent of a energetic young tenor in opera. Distinguished by his goggles, every-so-slight cluelessness and energy, he is the de facto leader of the group. Jian (called Henry in the English dub) is a Chinese-Japanese, whose father was part of the team that originally created the Digimon. The third member of the group is Ruki (called Rika in the dub,) known as the Digimon Queen for her card gaming skills.

Takato appears to have created his own Digimon by force of will and, like his Tamer, Guilmon is guileless, cheerful and energetic. Jian appears to have had his Digimon, Terriermon, for some time and they already have a history and some traumatic experiences behind them when the anime starts.

Ruki is typical of many girls in gaming – she works twice as hard as the boys, ekes out a little respect and about the same level of derision, and is, at 10 years old, already quite jaded and cynical. At first glance, there’s no way not to peg Ruki as a babydyke, from the leg holster and the broken-heart t-shirt she habitually wears, to her passive-aggressive relationship with her Digimon, Renamon.

Renamon is eight kinds of awesome as a fighter, she’s smart and, compared with the other Digimon, she’s mature. (To be fair, Terriermon is more mature than Guilomon, partially because of Jian and partially because he is older and more experienced than Guilomon.)  Ruki and Renamon’s relationship is as full of denial, recrimination, poor communication and tenderness as any real-life relationship. It’s almost embarrassingly realistic.

I first watched this series as it played out on American TV, during a Saturday morning cartoon block. Now, watching the original anime in Japanese with subtitles, I’m amazed how *little* was changed for the dub. I’m amazed – and impressed. Scenes, tone, dialogue are all exactly as I remember it.

I am not impressed by the subtitling on Hulu, however. It has exactly the same lack of quality control that plagues Crunchyroll’s subtitling. It really would be worth hiring an editor, purveyors of streaming subtitled anime. Instead of seamless translation, there’s typos, grammatical and syntactical errors, and an overall sense of middle-schoolers or non-native English-speakers having been put in charge of the project.

Nonetheless, I’m thrilled to be able to watch Digimon Tamers again, and watch Ruki slowly, reluctantly, come to realize what Renamon really means to her. If you missed it the first time around on TV, I hope you’ll give it a try this time. It’s a surprisingly excellent franchise cartoon.

Ratings:

Art – 7, with flashes of 9 and moments of 5, when the budget runs low
Story – 9
Characters – 9
Yuri – really depends on how you interpret Ruki and Renamon’s relationship. Let’s call it a 5
Service – 1

Overall – 9

It’s not a “Yuri anime” but is an excellent anime, with Yuri potential if you want to go there. If not, it’s a great cartoon.

Season 4 of UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie is comprised of 2 OVAs, both of which are, well, kind of sweet.

In the first OVA, through a stupid plot complication, Kazuto’s family bathhouse is the location for Valkyrie’s class reunion. This allows us to see a million new Princess character designs and then see them bathing. It also allows us a little Yuri in the form of classmate crushiness on Pharm, Hydra and Valkyrie.

The second OVA was positively…funny and nice? WTH? Through the next stupid plot complication Akina is named the priestess who will do a super important festival dance on behalf of the royal family of Valhalla. Akina, Kazuto and Valkyrie are required to make super-secret wishes as part of the festival and then Akina does the dance – beautifully. Had this been the only episode ever made of this series, one would have cause to not believe that the series was a Kaishaku creation at all.

I’m very vexed at the fourth season. For a series that existed entirely to pander to the Lowest Common Denominator to end with grace and beauty is just…wrong. It’s like giving the most obnoxious kid in the class an ice cream cone for just sitting down and shutting up. It’s. Just. So. Annoying.

Ratings:

Art – 7
Story – 5
Characters – 7
Yuri – 4 for classmate crushiness
Service – a shockingly low 8

Overall – A very vexing 6

All I can say is, I hope it annoyed the heck out of Kaishaku too, since by the end it had no resemblance at all to their vision.

I‘ve been pretty spotty reviewing here this week. I bet you thought that when I came back it would be for something full of awesome and love, didn’t you? But, no, instead I return to you with a review of full of Kaishaku. Sorry.

I bought myself the UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie OVA Collection for reasons that I’m sure made sense at the time, but which I can no longer recall. Having purchased it, I supposed I’d better watch it. Well, I watched Season 3.

I’ve stopped caring that Kaishaku’s work is really bad, honestly. I’m resigned to the fetish du jour construction of their stories.  There were even moments where I liked an angle, a scene, a character.

But look, let me say this plainly and get it out of the way, because I find the thought burdensome and want to shed it. When Kazuto kisses Val-chan and she turns into Valkyrie, every time I think – this is what pedophiles see in their heads. That this innocent child is somehow an actual willing, equal partner in this relationship. And this thought really makes it hard for me to ever like this series – even though Kazuto’s relationship with Val-chan is, in and of itself, innocent. Kazuto is clearly in love with Valkyrie, and treats Val-chan as a daughter and that is that. Kazuto’s worst behavior with Val-chan is that he spoils her a little.

But less and less is the story about Kazuto and Valkyrie at all. In Season 3, it’s almost an aside to the main plot of whatever episode. Whether it’s a cat maid superhero or one of Valhalla’s 4 million princesses showing up for a visit (and crashing into a building to do so. When Rika commented on the fact, I was amazed they bothered to address the issue at all) Valkyrie and Kazuto’s impending, oft-delayed wedding seems tagged on as an afterthought.

Among the many Princesses who show up for an extended visit is Pharm, who crashes into the local school and inexplicably becomes a teacher. Pharm is representative and enthusiast of the girl-wearing-glasses fetish. This episode is laden with Yuri service that doesn’t quite go anywhere, but it was kind of weird and silly. We learn at the end of the episode that Pharm has a crush on Valkyrie. That too is kind of weird and silly. Most of this series is kind of weird and silly. And every once in a while, it almost becomes likable.

Ratings:

Art – Nothing like Kaishaku’s – 7
Story – There is very little story – 5
Characters – Variable, averaging out at 6
Yuri – 4 for Pharm
Service – there are not enough numerals, nor spaces to hold them

Overall – 5

So if you like Kaishaku generally, or think you might if they stopped beating up their women all the time, Season 3 of Valkyrie is not intolerable.