Funny how I never seemed to get around to this series….

Way back, in the dawn of time, I was writing anime reviews for a newsletter that no longer exists, called Metro Druid News (It’s now transmogrified into News From the Other Grove, for which I no longer write, but it’s still pretty fun.) I was writing, specifically, reviews of anime with pagan/magical/spiritual content. So, of course, the companies kept sending me shounen action stories with guns. I suppose it made sense to someone. More likely, it was all they had.

In the middle of the piles of samurai and scifi, was a series called Bubblegum Crisis. I had *heard* of BGC – one could hardly avoid it since, along with Dirty Pair and Project A-ko, it was one of the earliest anime to make it to western shores. This is one of those anime series the old-timers talk about when they talk about huddling over Nth generation videos with mimeographed copies of hand-typed translations, well before fansubs existed. (My personal experience with this was 9th generation copy of a volume of raw Sailor Moon.)

BGC, for the three of you who have never heard of it, is a cyberpunk action story, about four women battling corporate corruption and mutating androids. A very Akira-period anime without the nuclear fallout feel. There was the inevitable yuri implications between the four female leads: Motorcycle-riding, tough, dark, angsty Priss; loli computer genius Nene; bland Lina and; slick, sexy rich-girl Sylia. For the women, there was an effeminate gay cop who flirts valiantly with straight male lead Leon. Even as I think back to my first watching of BGC,I can remember just how *much* this series had something for everybody. And, of course, a lot of mutating androids, guns and explosions. Not surprisingly, it’s still a fan favorite after all this time.

But, even as I watched and suffered through the soundtrack, (a comment for which I *know* I will recieve hate mail) I thought, well, you know Priss is butchy as hell…but ‘m just not seeing the Sylia x Priss thing everyone else is seeing. I tried, I really did! ^_^

But then Episode 5 rolled around and Sylvie – a motorcycle-ridin’ sexaroid with a noir storyline shows up and I simply took the yuri goggles off, because there was plenty to be seen without ’em. This was my first experience with rampant shounen yuri implication, so it sidelined me a bit.

Here’s a piece of obscure trivia – Priss was voted best overall anime lesbian in the first Yuricon Poll, which ran back in 2000. It caused a huge Usenet stink, because a bunch of people were offended that she was even considered to be a lesbian. I say, if it wears leather like a duck, and rides a motorcycle like a duck and hangs out with sexy lesbian sexaroids like a duck….

Don’t get me wrong – there is no happy ending here, but it’s still a pretty damn good story. Just enough dark and grim to give it atmosphere, lots of action, the requisite sexy chicks (at least, what passed for sexy anime chicks in the 1980s…bad hair alert!) and poor Priss’s excruciating Pat Benatar-like music, which were pretty much the perfect beat for walking on a treadmill. The old VHS tapes I had also included music videos made from clips of the arcs and the songs Priss sung in them…whether this was a “bonus” will directly depend on whether you *liked* the music or not. ^_^

If you haven’t watched BGC – especially if you’re a relatively recent Yuri fan – I strongly recommend that you do. It’s good to know where we’ve been to see where we’re going – and how far we have yet to go….

Remember what I said a few days ago about quality? Well, upon rewatching Seraphim Call, I came to the conclusion that, quality it ain’t.

Let’s start with the packaging, since that’s what one sees first. Media Blasters has always been, IMHO, a bit behind the curve on aesthetics, but I can’t fault them too much. While this OVA doesn’t have cool extras or liner notes or *anything* other than that ever-present market research card, it *does* have all 12 episodes on 2 DVDs, for a reasonable cost.  This DVD is Japanese language audio only, with English subtitles…no dub available. This doesn’t bother me, of course, but it may be an issue with others.

Additionally, the type MB uses for their subtitles is the same exact one they have been using since the dawn of time and it looks…dated. Little yellow words that pop up in stark declarative or interrogative sentences with no other forms of punctuation than period or question mark. It’s really disturbing after a while, because even though the voices are normal, there’s a sense of droning monotony, because of the subtitles. (And yes, I am perfectly aware that I’m over-sensitive to such things. But I calls ’em as I see ’em.)

I sat down to watch the first disc with only a vague memory of the individual vignettes, having intially watched them quite a few years ago now. The basic premise is 11 entirely unrelated girls and women will be brought together for *something* to happen. The first 11 epsiodes are background stories on each of the 11 girls, and episode 12 is supposed to tie everything together. I remembered only that about 1/4 of the cast was gay. ^_^

I did not know then, but do know now, that the original character designer is Aoi Nanase (creator of Angel Dust) which explains several things, like the gayness and the odd hair. I’m not sure if there’s a manga for this series, but if there is, I’d like to read it, to see if the story ever goes anywhere. (Perhaps one of my loyal readers can assist with this? Have you heard of or seen a manga version?)

So, with vague memories and a mild fever, I began re-watching Seraphim Call.

The first episode was a slow-paced story about Yukina, a super-genius mechanical engineer with a phobia of men. I had, for some reason, remembered each episode being quite short, but I was wrong – maybe it was wishful thinking, because this epsiode *draaaagggggged.*

Episode two I skipped. It’s a repulsive little loli stalker perv thing that I have no interest in ever seeing again. Once was scarring enough.

By this time I was reclaiming old memories and quite clearly knew what was coming.

Episode three is the tale of Chinami, a girl with a dream to be a dessert chef and divorced parents. Slow, again, but actually kind of the most realistic story of the bunch.

Episode four is, IMHO, the best of the first disc. Using a non-linear narrative, we learn about Hatsumi, a boyish, athletic girl who agrees (after much resistance) to model nude for a painting. It’s not Yuri, at all, but there’s a gender and self identity issue, which is also quite realistic for a high school girl. Although I wish *someone* had told Hatsumi that she looked adorable in shorts and tie…

Episodes five and six are a combo story, which gives the individual perspectives of a pair of creepy incestuous lesbian twin sisters as they reject all else but each other. I remember being strongly disturbed by these episodes the first time I watched the series, but you know, after watching again yesterday, I can only say that I quite prefer them together. It lowers the possibility that anyone else will get involved in their dysfunctional worldviews. These two episodes are full of unresolved virtual reality escapades, which leaves you with no clue whether the girls are back in reality – or were ever there to begin with. After I finished watching, I was disturbed all over again, but this time not by Shion and Sakura, but by myself thinking that, actually, these two episodes were kind of sweet and touching in a really weird way.

Clearly anime is sucking my soul away, one episode at a time.

My last two thoughts, as I watched Shion and Sakura kiss for the second time, were these:

1) I can pretty much guarantee that I would never in a million years fall in love with someone who looked exactly like me, and;

2) How on *earth* did this anime get rated 7 and up???? Did the person who rated it not watch episodes 2,5 and 6?

In any case, while this anime really is Yuri-riffic, its not…erm…good. However, I hold out more hope for Disc 2, where we get some Yuri that isn’t creepy. ^_^

Stratos 4 is deservedly obscure anime.

I was surprised to note that I have never even *mentioned* it in this blog, and yet I clearly remember watching it all. It wasn’t bad enough to be good, nor was it good. It just sort of..was. I have yet to buy the DVD and I’m fighting hard with myself about it. I kind of don’t want to spend the money on such a lame story, but the Yuri is *way* over the top and funny.

In the near future, the earth is threatened by constant waves of meteors, so an elite force (primarily consisting of sexy young women,) has been created to destroy the meteors before they threaten the planet. These so-called Comet Blasters are “the” elite pilot force, full of young, beautiful things who are superstars to their millions of fans. Stratos 4 follows four girls, Shizuha, Ayamo, Karin, and Mikaze, as they train to be Meteor Sweepers – a sort of space cleanup crew that blast leftover meteor fragments left over from Comet Blaster missions…essentially, they get to follow the elephants. Everyone dreams of being a Comet Blaster, but only the best Meteor Sweepers ever even get a chance to try out.

Mikaze is our nominal heroine – from a long line of pilots, she feels a great deal of pressure to succeed but is, as usual, an idiot savant, showing only barely passable skill in everything until an emergency makes her mad piloting skillz appear. Sure, she saves the day, but she’s a danger to those around her. She and Shima-chan from Stellvia would make an exciting air show, that’s for sure.

While non-Yuri fans may be watching Mikaze and her trials and travails as she tries to keep her unpredictable skills under control, Yuri fans will be watching Miharu, the uber-sexy Comet Blaster as she seduces all the women under her command, and Karin, Mikaze’s friend, as *she* fights off an unnatural passion for Mikaze that has begun to possess her.

Which brings us to the bit that actually makes this series worth watching – while the main plot is complicated by a government conspiracy that threatens to ground the girls just when they are needed the most, *we’re* watching this bizarro case of viral lesbianism spread through the secondary cast. And that’s *exactly* what it is – a space virus spread by kissing (and, one hopes, by passionate sex). It appears initially to affect only women, but in the end we see some guys with it, too. However, we are spared the sight of any of the lovely Comet Blaster ladies actually kissing any those whatsits without the chest handles.*

Of course Miharu and the rest of the CB ladies aren’t gay – silly Yuri fan, what were you thinking? They are all possessed by the evil space virus. Miharu is really in love with her old flame, a loser mechanic who has the super-duper special prototype Spaceship That Will Save Us ALL (TM) in his garage.

And Karin isn’t a lesbian either, of course. In a feverish battle with her virus-borne lesbian pathogen, she realizes that she loves Mikaze too much as a friend to want to have passionate sex with her…or something like that. She overcomes her unnatural tendencies to return to being the bland and uninteresting character she was previously, with moderately more lines, and Mikaze and her posse roar off to save the day from space viruses, lesbians and sexually frustrated Comet Blaster babes.

Is this a good series? I don’t know. Fans of space opera may enjoy it. All I remember was thinking, “Uh-huh.” A lot. The fanservice was of the panty variety and, IMHO, quite utterly dull. Because we *needed* to see them on their rockets from the back looking forward. Yup.

Ratings:

Art – 7
Story – 6
Characters – 7
Music – 6
Service – 6 The creative team sure likes asses
Yuri – 6

Overall – 6

* This line was paraphrased from a parody of Boku no Sexual Harrassment called Boku no Sucky-Sucky. The original line is from one of the salarymen (who isn’t gay, he just prefers sex with men) about a group of women sitting at another table. The salaryman says something to the effect of, “Oh look! It’s a group of those, whatsits, with the chest handles.” This line slayed me and is now a standard around the house.