Many years ago I wrote an opinion piece on Okazu that went a little viral (at the time, in the pre-Twitter world) about how to and how not to comment on a blog post. A great number of the things that were relevant at the time are not as much relevant now, but there are still so many ways to come across poorly as we do more and more of our communications on social media.

To be clear, this post is not in response to any circumstance or person or specific or general comments here on Okazu, so if you feel attacked personally, I hope you will think about why that might be, rather than assuming that that is my intention. ^_^ It’s just time we revisited commenting etiquette. I did reach out to Twitter to get some feedback as well. Here, in no particular order and with no particular emphasis, are things not to do in blog comments.

The number one thing to not do:

1. If You Are Not The Editor, You Don’t Need To Edit

Stop pointing out minor typos in comments. They happen and aren’t a huge deal. Move on.

— L.B. Bryant (@otakureview) June 12, 2019

This is not as simple as it sounds! I love when you tell me I’ve gotten a fact wrong! Did I mention the wrong publisher or platform or mistranslated a word – I totally want to know. Really. But if someone spelled “the” wrong, then you can let that slide, it’s okay. I’m a pretty shitty typist, so I do go back over my posts every once in a while, too, and I’m still finding typos from 10 year old posts. But a good rule of thumb is if you understood it, so does everyone else. ^_^

2. We Have Wikipedia Too

Don’t be “that guy” who points out every regional title variance like the author doesn’t know. We’re almost always aware that “Attack on Titan” is titled “Shingeki no Kyojin” in Japan, or “My Hero Academia” is called “My Hero Academia” in Japan.

— Samantha Ferreira, aka “That Sakura Wars fangirl” (@sam_animeherald) June 12, 2019

Blog comments that begin with the dreaded “you forgot to mention…” are a curse on humanity.

— d.merrill (@terebifunhouse) June 12, 2019

Pointing out additional information the author MAY not know is great, but don’t assume that they DON’T know it, find a way to share that information in a non-condescending way. (Particularly an issue with men commenting on stuff by women, but as a woman I had to learn this, too)

— Rose Bridges 🌹🌉🌉 (@composerose) June 12, 2019

Again, if I, personally have fucked up a translation, or have mistranslated a name or something, yes I want to know! But you know, if a blogger is mentioning Rose of Versailles, no one needs to be told that it’s actually called Berusaiyu no Bara. And that’s not even true, honestly, it’s name is ベルサイユのばら. Transliteration and translation are always evolving and are always, always open to interpretation. ^_^ You can share info for other readers too, without assuming the author doesn’t know. There may have been a reason they chose not to share. I have, in actual fact, done that. I curate what I share here, as does every blogger, reviewer and journalist.

3. It’s Opinions All the Way Down

My #1 tip on what not to do is to make the poster responsible for your reaction to the content.

“This made me angry/scared, so you’re at fault.”

#2 – All reviews are opinions. All opinions are opinions. You may disagree, you may express that, but you also may not be *right*.

— Erica Friedman, 100 Years of Yuri (@OkazuYuri) June 12, 2019

You know the saying about opinions are like assholes, everyone has one? Well that saying has become a little bit more commutative these day. All opinions seem to have assholes, as well. ^_^

Every reader is free to interpret what they read, or watcher what they watch, as they want. Even if you don’t agree. When you are reading a review or commentary or analysis…it is not your job to tell people they are wrong. Unless they are objectively wrong, i.e., Moby Dick is not about a vanilla ice cream cone. And, if the reviewer is saying that it is  – whether they are in an amusingly altered cognitive state or have or have not made a solid case for their point – there’s no reason to become combative if you disagree. You can both be right, and wrong, simultaneously. Creative endeavor is like that. My first point brings me to….

4. No, Really, We Get That It’s Problematic

Don’t assume that just because a blogger talks about a problematic work/issue/character does not mean that they endorse all aspects of it or are oblivious to its problems.

Its cool to share what your favorite aspect or work is but not to say “why didn’t you talk about ***”

— The YuriMother (ON MEDICAL HIATUS TILL 7/14) (@HolyYuriMother) June 12, 2019

Yurimother knows of what she speaks here. I’m pretty comfortable with my fetishes and my turn-offs. I’m also comfortable surfacing them in turn and leaving it up to you to decide if you’re comfortable with the same things or not. But some folks are not satisfied with that and get super miffed that we’re not just rejecting it outright. We all like problematic things or not-problematic things by problematic creators because we and the creators are all human. Learning to accept that your favoritest series in the world was created by a raging asshole hurts, but learning to accept the parts of that thing that helped you personally grow, can still be important and useful.

5. It’s Okay to Say…Nothing

I abide by two sets of criteria in commenting:
1) Does this need to be said? By ME? (Also has nobody else already said it?)
and 2) Is this particularly enlightening, helpful, or funny?
If I don’t get at least one yes out of them I just move on.

— Sooz (@itsasooz) June 12, 2019

– unless you’re a friend of the author, don’t assume your particular brand of humor is instantly recognizable. Please talk to strangers like you would talk to them on the street or in any other social occasion

— Mireille Sillander (@mimesatwork) June 12, 2019

Sooz and Mirielle nail this one. Is it really important that you be “funny” right now? Could that “joke” wait? I bet it could! I bet it could wait forever and pass into the oubliette of never-having-been-said and no one will miss it!  I love writing comments, but there are days when I self-censor the shit out of myself by asking this question. It’s okay…that oubliette is darned big and has plenty of room for things never said outloud. ^_^

6. This Blog is Made for You And Me…and That Lady and That Guy, and Those Other People

Mirielle’s point leads me to something I often want to say and can never find a nice way to say it. Bloggers and journalists love readers’ feedback but we’re the ones doing the work. If you are unhappy with a post, an opinion, a conclusion, a choice…then you are always free to start your own site. Being angry with, or even worse, at, the person you’re reading is human. But you don’t have any right to demand anything.

Many of the readers I have on Okazu have become my friends in the real world and I assume that I will meet and befriend many more as I continue to travel and talk and meet people. But I also appreciate it if you don’t presume ownership of this site – or my friendship. I’m not writing that post for you, personally, so if you are unhappy, it’s not critical that I be told. Someone else might have really enjoyed that post. I write a lot of jokes on Okazu for myself (there are several of them in this post) and most of them probably go right over your head. I am not here for you, I am here for me. Just kindly remind yourself of that.

7. Don’t be a Dick.

You all remember Penny Arcade’s intro to the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory? If you missed it, here it is.

Well, it turns out that anonymity is not actually the problem. The problem, it turns out is “Normal Person.” People are possessive about a lot of things…including their very individual perspectives about their individual fandoms. And some measurable percentage of these people react to any deviation from their point of view as if that deviation was meant as a personal attack. This is the literal meaning of “/whatever/ destroyed my childhood.” Imagine actually being a person who actually takes a Ghostbuster movie as a personal insult.

There are too many examples of online harassment against people because they were involved with a thing some individual or group objected to, to link to (and many of these have been astroturfed by hate groups, and were never grassroots as they claimed.) But there are still people, as we saw this very week, whose reaction to a translation they don’t like is to start harassing the translator. As I said yesterday, this is not okay.  I can remember each and every death or rape threat I have received. I have nothing but pity for the sad, pathetic fuckwads who thought that that was an appropriate way of addressing anything, of any kind, ever.

There is never any good excuse for being rude, being unkind, being aggressive or aggressively clueless in comments. The blogger does not owe you, personally, any other time than the time they took to write their post.

It shouldn’t have to be said (and, honestly, is not really being said for Okazu commenters – you folks are awesome!) but if you really, really hate a review, definitely do not call people terrible names online. Write a rebuttal or a strongly worded, polite comment, or rant to friends, but don’t be a dick and harass people.

With these basics of etiquette in mind, you’re ready to move the conversation forward, to add unique perspective and insight, offer praise and express enjoyment of your favorite writers!