Tantric Stripfighter Trina Manga (English)

February 24th, 2009

Every fan of kitsch knows that there are essentially two categories of good crap. The first is the most common – so awful that it’s funny. The second is much rarer – purposefully dumb parody by smart people.

The problem with the former is that it is completely subjective. What you find hilariously tacky may be someone else’s treasured item. The fact that it is someone else’s treasured item is, of course, what makes it hilarious to you. A hilariously awful movie/show/book usually means someone, somewhere, on the production side, was taking themselves way too seriously.

The problem with the latter is that it is open to misterpretation by people on the audience side who miss the joke completely and take the show/art way too seriously.

Tantric Stripfighter Trina is in the third category – neither bad enough to be funny, nor smart enough to be dumb. It’s a painful reminder that someone else has had their manga published and you haven’t. ^_^

(Before I pull out the review scythe I want to be be very clear with short words, so you all – most importantly, neither writer nor author – don’t jump on my bacon and accuse me of taking this book too seriously. I did not take this book seriously at *all.*. Nor, I hope, did anyone involved with it, because the title is *Tantric Stripfighter Trina* and if you are taking that seriously, you don’t have issues – you have whole subscriptions.)

Okay, so, let’s begin at the beginning. In the first few pages, we are introduced to a culture that is so advanced that they’re clueless idiots and, despite their mad skillz in every cool-esoteric-Asian-sounding thing evar, were completely taken unawares when the loud, brutish bad guys flattened their planet. I feel obliged to warn any suggestible 14-year olds that read this book that not only should Tantric Yoga and Shaolin martial arts not be combined in your practice – they are almost impossible to combine, as they are completely opposite in nearly every form of external, internal and energetic discipline. I’m just saying. It’s a good thing the bad guys killed everyone, or their mixed energy arts would have made them all go insane.

The naming sense showed throughout this manga rivals Marimite’s Yumi’s. Tantric Yoga devotees from the planet Rama, bad guys named “Curse” and “The Legion,” and to top it all off, the cleverly titled government – “Crown” and it’s religious arm, “Cog.” But the names aren’t really what make this book – it’s the writing, which appears to be cobbled together from a lot of other stories without discrimination. I’m going to give the writer credit and assume he was going for trite and amusing. But the poor grasp of timing and sense show in lines like, “If you lose…well, let’s just say that you’ll be in no condition to experience the bitter taste of defeat.” Really? Well…that’s a good thing, right?

The art is similarly challenged. The characters are, as they are described in the back of the book, “boobalicious.” That should be an indicator that this book was written for and will appeal primarily to barely post-pubescent males who have not yet had the chance to enjoy actual boobs, which look – and act – nothing like the ones portrayed here. I do have to wonder where they found a 12-year old editor, though.

So, aside from the not-quite-laughably-bad story and the not-quite-giggle-making art, how was the book? After the initial setup, you find yourself sort of settling into a pattern – reading a few pages, then forgetting that you were reading and doing something else, then picking the book back up and being surprised that you’re reading it all over again, then reading a few more pages. By midway, you feel you have established a rhythm which is sustainable until the end of the book, where the tedium of the fighting vies for with the silly dialogue for fail. And then you are done, and you think – not really good. Not bad enough to be funny.

So, why am I reviewing this? Because happily – and predictably – there is fake Yuri in it. Trina’s reluctant, then annoyingly devoted “cybernetic sidekick” (I have no idea what that means, or how it relates to anything in the book,) Abbey, first encounters Trina in battle. When the Tantrika master (three languages cry every time that word is used) Trina “stimulates all of her pleasure centers” to take her out of the fight, Abbey decides to follow her. Totally original, I know. Abbey does manage to save Trina and later has a dream in which Trina thanks her for saving her ass by climbing on Abbey’s lap and kissing her. Abbey gets touchy with Trina, who is an advanced master of many advanced sexual energy techniques, but can’t recognize a crush when she sees one.

As a webcomic, assuming that both artist and writer knew that it was meant to be funny, this story has some potential. As a manga published by Tokyopop, for which real money was spent, I just have to wonder what they were thinking.

Ratings:

Art – 6 Good for webcomic art
Story – 3
Characters – 4
Yuri – 3
Service – 6 Pasties!

Overall – 3

My very real gratitude to Brigid Alverson of Mangablog, who nobly sacrificed her copy on this review pyre.



Yuri Manga: Hayate x Blade, Volume 9

February 23rd, 2009

Is there any way this series could be more awesome? (Other than by becoming an anime, I mean.)

What *I* want from a manga series is women who are growing, becoming stronger, becoming more who they are every day. Women who are not holding back to fulfill someone else’s expectations.

I want action, hard fought fights, and blood and *guts* and sweat. I love to watch people training until they puke.

I want comedy. I want to laugh until my stomach hurts, until I’m incoherent from the tears streaming down my face.

I want depth. I want rage. I want laughter. I want comradery and joy. I want touching moments of sublime beauty, and ridiculous moments where honestly, it just couldn’t get any stupider if it tried.

I want Ayana and Hayate to beat the living shit out of Ensuu and gain revenge on her for what she did to Ayana and Yukari. Like Jun, I want to know who the real Ayana is. Like Hitsugi I want to see the students in the Hoshitori reaching past their limits, ever striving for greatness. Like Sae, I want to see Akira’s sensitive side. Like Maki, I want to see Yukari smile.

I want it all.

In Hayate x Blade, Volume 9 (はやて×ブレード), I get ALL of it. Every last bloody thing I could want from this series is in my hand as I type.

Ratings:

Art – 8
Story – 9
Characters – 9
Yuri – 3
Service – 1

Overall – 9

This series is fucking brilliant.



Yuri News This Week – February 21, 2009

February 21st, 2009

Yuri Anime

The big news this week (for me, at least,) is that Funimation has licensed the number one and two series on my “I wish someone would license these anime” list. Look for more news about El Cazador de la Bruja and RIN: Daughters of Mnemosyne at the Funimation News page.

Not that anyone here cares, but Futari ha PreCure AllStars teaser and full trailer are available online. AllStars unites members of the previous six casts in an “all-star” series.

Eric P. points to the latest issue of Anime Insider which reports that Revolutionary Girl Utena is getting a rerelease in Japan, with Limited Edition extras including a booklet and bonus disc featuring commentary by Kunihiko Ikuhara. A decade after it first came out, I wonder how it’ll be received?

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Snatches of Yuri

Sean is pleased to have found a lesbian best friend in Urusawa Naoto’s Happy!, which in most ways is completely unlike it’s title.

And the appallingly stupid Akikan manga has developed a probably Yuri-service can/master couple. For those not yet appalled by this piece of dreck, the story follows anthropomorphized soft drink cans and their “masters,” with a lot of panty shots. (A **lot**.) In the manga, one of the female characters ran out to buy a can from a vending machine and ended up with a girl instead. Aru is the anthropomorphized form of a sports drink.

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Other Yuri News

sapphire_sophilia is proud to announce that the first book of her Yuri novel series Crimson Stains on the Solstice Moon is available on her storefront. She adds “What’s posted is 1st Edition: Crystal, which means it won’t have all the spiffy pictures in it like other light/yaoi novels until 2nd Edition: Sapphire.”

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Yuri Manga: Papaya Gundan, Volume 2

February 20th, 2009

Honestly, I was going to review Tsubomi today, but I wiping the floor with myself after this week, so here’s something much less like work.

Last November, I reviewed Volume 1 of Payapa Gundan (パパイヤ軍団★), a fun and adult look at the manager of a hostess bar and the women who work for him.

Volume 2 of the story picks up with Miyabi, the other guy in a black suit. He’s the early shift manager and, it turns out, an unforgettable lover. He also turns out to be a lot younger than anyone assumed. His story revolves around his gorgeous, young-looking mother leaving to get remarried and forcing him to take care of himself, and a lover that can’t stand to lose him.

Once Miyabi’s life is resolved, we turn to look at Kyouko, who comes out as an otaku, but not as a writer of BL stories, to Hajime. He’s cool with it until she takes off for a week to write her latest novel. Hajime, worried about Kyouko, drops by and ends up cleaning the apartment, cooking for Kyouko and eventually asking her to move in with him. She ain’t no dummy, so she says, yes – only to learn that she’s sharing the apartment with Hajime and his sister and her lover. But it’s all good, because when they have a kid, she’s got free babysitting. ^_^

Hajime is worried that a rival club is scouting Miyabi, but it turns out that his great-grandmother is the club owner and she buys Club Papaya too, so Hajime will never have to worry about closing. Kyouko watches Hajime stress over Miyabi and considers (not for the first time) pairing them up in a story. ^_^

In the meantime, Hajime’s sister Mika and her bi lover Chieri have hit an impasse. Chieri is still seeing and sleeping with the male customers. Mika doesn’t like it at all. Chieri says that she can’t understand – Mika’s young and she’s 26 already. She wants to settle down and get married, maybe have children – and this customer is planning on marrying her and taking her to America with him when he goes. Mika’s shocked – she didn’t know that Chieri wanted that kind of life…and she didn’t know Chieri was that old. Her club profile says she’s 22. lol Chieri accuses Mika of wanting to live in Neverland, two women together, pfft.

Mika asks to be put on the early shift and Chieri runs off to Miyabi to get some advice from the youngest – but wisest – person at the club. It’s not until she realizes that her fiancee is a terrible lover and that as long as she’s seme, she really, really likes making love to Mika, that she regrets her decision.

When at last Chieri and Mika are once again face to face, Mika holds out an amazingly expensive diamond ring that Chieri had admired and asks her to marry her. “Come live with me in Neverland,” Mika says. Chieri agrees happily. It turns out that Mika was working two jobs to save up for the ring. Chieri admits that she also was saving up to give Mika a present, as she hands her what looks to be a pack of postcards or stationary. “It ain’t much!” Mika says.

The epilogue shows this crazy extended family, very happily ever after. Miyabi, ever with an eye for the business, takes Kyouko’s and Hajime’s baby to the college he’s attending, to attract young women whom he recruits for the club. Kyouko’s left the club and become a BL novelist, Mika is a professional dance teacher, and Hajime is overstressed about everything, as usual.

I can’t tell you how refreshing this series is. It puts a smile on my face every time I read it. The girl gets the girl, the boy gets the girl, the girl gets the boy and Kyouko writes stories where the boy gets the boy, too. ^_^

Ratings:

Art – 4
Story – 8
Characters – 9
Yuri – 8
Service – 4

Overall – 9



News Brief: Funimaton licenses Mnemosyne

February 20th, 2009

Oh, Funi is getting all my Yuri love this week. I bet they were just jealous of Right Stuf and Media Blasters. lol

They have just announced the licensing of RIN: Daughters of Mnemoysne.

License Blue Drop and you get a perfect trifecta and maybe a shipment of chocolate, Funi. :-)

Personally, I strongly encourage companies to listen to me, my advice is usually pretty good. LOL