Claymore Anime

November 25th, 2007

I’m back from vacation, and lightly toasted marshmallow in color. I learned that if you have to order a drink by color, it’s not so good. I dubbed my purple drink the “Robitussin Colada.” But all the other colors were good. Orange was my favorite – they made a mean Tequila Sunset.

I want to be perfectly clear about today’s review. I am reviewing the Claymore anime because while appreciate everyone suggesting I watch it, I’m kind of tired explaining to people why I didn’t think it was all that, much less a bag of chips.

I was told by *many* people how awesome and win Claymore was before I watched it, but since I never really listen to anyone, I had no great expectations for it. I was not disappointed. I can only conjecture that the reason that so many people thought it was brilliant is that I am 20 year older than all of you and I was around for the great Fantasy wave of the 70s and 80s. There was nothing at all unique about Claymore that I could see. The territory it covered has been done many many times over. And more gay-ly too – see Mercedes Lackey’s books. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t awful. It just wasn’t “teh awesome.” If you weren’t around when every single author in the world was churning out long series of Sword-and-Sorcery, D&D-ish, Lord of the Rings-esque quest style books, then you will probably think it’s pretty cool.

Claymore is a sword-and-demon quest story. The great warriors are all female, all half-demon themselves, called by the uncommonly expository and helpfully prejudiced and hateful villagers “Claymores.” Which described their swords well enough. There are 47 Claymores at any one time, and their own organization also helpfully exploits and neglects them, so we have two quests for vengeance. Our protagonist, Clare, has a tragic backstory in which her family is slaughtered, her village rejects her and she becomes the protege of the coolest, most powerful Claymore extent, Teresa.

There’s pretty much no question that the Teresa/Clare arc is the best bit of the story. Teresa is undoubtedly cool. Clare grows less annoying as the arc goes on. It has to end tragically, of course. Duh. ^_^

So now we are supposed to understand why Clare picks up Raki, a kid with the same tragic backstory as her own. Unfortunately for us, Raki is also a huge whiner. Pretty much any scene without Raki was good.

The main theme of the anime is Clare’s quest to grow stronger to avenge Teresa. It’s a decent enough plot, completely with lots of power-ups, team-building and traveling – all the usual elements of a good D&D story. The voice actresses are good to excellent, with four of my top five getting significant roles, so that made me happy. The end of the anime, while in no way the end of the story, was pretty much as expected, so it worked for me. The music was very good in places, as well.

Because after the first few episodes, Serge and I realized that what other people saw as “awesome” we were seeing as “okay,” we started watching crappy anime first, in order to increase Claymore’s awesomeness. We watched Hitohira which we both thought was painfully awful so it worked well. And we tried Touka Gettan but that was SO bad it was funny and it became distracting, so it failed as a opening act. Each week we were so glad to be done with Hitohira, it did indeed help any scene without Raki to become better. Unfortunately, whenever he was on the screen, the level of good dropped significantly. I can’t think of a more sniveling whiner in any anime I’ve ever watched.

There was no Yuri in Claymore. Teresa and Clare did indeed have a deep love for one another. I do not doubt that. Their relationship was the high point of the series for me, as well anyone else. But were they “in love”? Did they want to be lovers? Unequivocally no. Sisters, guardian-ward, even mother-daughter. Yes.

This is a series full of deep battlefield emotions. Blood sisters, sword sisters. If the characters had been John Wayne as Teresa and some young strapping lad as Clare, you wouldn’t pair them up. It’s a battlefield buddy sort of story. People who happen to be women facing life and death situations together, relying upon one another to watch each other’s backs. And I see a lot of deep bonding there. But not that thing that *I* see as Yuri – two women who are drawn together by love and wanting to be lovers. Jeanne, for instance. She owed her life to Clare and wanted to repay that. She certainly followed Clare, like a retainer follows a beloved lord, full of admiration, worship and yes, a kind of love. I didn’t see it as a desire for Clare or a desire to be with Clare in the sense of being girlfriends with Clare.

If you press me, I’d say that Helen and Deneve had the best, only, chance of becoming lovers of all the Claymores we saw. And only by the very end.

Ratings:

Art – 6
Story – 7 without Raki, 5 with
Characters – 8 except Raki who was a 4
Yuri – 1
Service – 5 +1 for the insistence on Yuri where it hath none

Overall – 6 +1 when watched after something that sucked massively

It’s a war story with swords instead of guns and Youma instead of Nazis. Not bad, but certainly not ground-breaking. Or Yuri.



Welcome to the Jungle

November 23rd, 2007

Just wanted to touch base with you all. Mayan ruins are cool, the beach under a mostly full moon looks like a Neptunian landscape.

I’ll be back home in a few days. Thanks everyone for the interesting and challenging questions for this round of “Utter Nonense”! It’s going to take me some time to actually think about these questions.

But right now, there’s a beach that desperately needs walking upon and I still have to drink a purple drink today to complete the rainbow. Since none of us can think of a purple drink, we’re going to ask the bartender to make something up. It should be good – he’s been brilliant all week. :-)

Anime episodes watched – 0
Manga read – 0

Trashy lesbian novels read – 7, 2 to go (Of course, I will review them, duh….)

See you when I get back!



Yuri Anime: Project ICE OAV

November 18th, 2007

Let’s get this out of the way, shall we? ICE sucked. It was so “wtf” that it quite defied description. And the sad part was that I could see where they were going with it (except for a few key things like, say, the plot) but it was so shoddy from beginning to end that it was hysterical. I laughed until my stomach hurt.

Let’s see if I can even begin to explain what happened.

Nope.

In 1982 a woman with big hair and animated in a 1982 style gets hit by a truck.

In the future when all the men are dead, the women have apparently all become crazed lunatics (gosh, we really suck without men, huh?) and inexplicably dress like refugees from Rose of Versailles.

The ICE of the title is a commodity, a virus, a weapon and a giant translucent shell wrapped around a maid. Oh yeah, and a hope for the future!

Stuff happens and monsters appear and people run around and shoot each other and the monsters, and there’s a ball in the middle of everything, then the monster’s mother shows up and everyone dies.

There’s some Montague and Capulet politics in there, but seriously, no one cares.

Our protagonists are Hiromi, a eyepatch-wearing seasoned warrior with Big Ass GunTM, and Yuki an annoying girl from (of course) the opposing house, who has quite possibly the worst voice actress ever.

The writers of the OAV seemed to be laboring under the assumption that they are Gainax, so the entire, mostly inexplicable, end was lifted from Evangelion – and that was after the big space fight that was lifted from Star Wars.

There was pretty much nothing good about ICE. The premise was okay, but as I’ve said a few times recently, pretty much every premise has *some* potential. It’s how anything is executed that makes it good or bad.

In terms of execution, ICE bit. The animation was heavy-handed and pretentious, the characters were a joke, the plot was barely developed and complicated with meaningless scenes that were never given any real relevance, the voice acting was seriously bad and well…the best thing was that the giant piece of CGI at the end that attacked was helpfully labeled on the defenders’ screen “Mother Monster.”

Yuri. It’s a society of all women. So of course the most prominent lesbian is the evil psychotic one. Duh. Julia was amoral, hedonistic and animated by the “B” team.

Our protagonists developed a strong bond (although where, I’m kind of a loss to say – they were together for a few hours, tops.) And out of the blue, right before she died Murasaki confessed her feelings to Hitomi.

Ratings:

Art – 5, except for Julia, who was a 2
Characters – 4
Story – 4
Yuri – 5
Service – 2, but god help you if you found something titillating in this

Overall – 4

I keep getting people asking me what they missed and the only answer I can come up with was, “that it was a crappy anime, done by talentless people on a low budget.” You got a better answer, I’d love to hear it.



Out of the Office – Time for Utter Nonsense

November 17th, 2007

I’m about 16 hours away from boarding a plane to head out for a week on a white beach under the dangerously bright sun for the first time in 17 years. I am in no way promising to review a damn thing while I’m gone. In fact, I sincerely hope to not think about anime or manga at all while I read trashy lesbian pulp novels and drink fruity girl drinks poolside.

But I will have access to the intertubes, so who knows. I might post. I will certainly read – if not respond to – my email.

So this seems like a good time to solicit questions for the twice annual Utter Nonsense fest. This time please feel free to ask questions that actually require a bit of research, as well as those I can answer glibly with a elitist intellectual sneer. ~_-

When I get back, or when I feel like it…eventually, at any rate, I’ll collect the set and answer the ones I like. :-) (I found an old one that I never answered, so we’re already off to a good start.) Questions can be about anything, I don’t really care, but again try and make the “reference” questions ones I can answer with a little work, not a research paper’s worth. And please, don’t try and stump me. I’m not a quiz show. lol

I’ll be doing one more review tonight before I go. Then, please feel free to read back over the 860 posts that are already here and get enraged at my opinions all over again for the first time. :-)

See you when I get back!



Najica Blitz Tactics Manga, Volume 1

November 17th, 2007

I finally had a chance to open up the bag of manga I bought at Yurisai to sit down and read it, and lo and behold, I find I had bought Najica Blitz Tactics from Bill at Anime Castle. Why? I have no idea. And so today I sat down to read what is clearly a plotless piece of junk.

You know how some people have good gaydar? I actually do, but that’s not the point here. The point is that I also, inexplicably, have exceptionally good Yuridar. I can pick a book quite randomly off the shelf at Book-Off and find that, magically, there is some Yuri in it. And not just Yuri in which two women are near each other a lot and they seem to like one another, no I mean – Yuri as in a raging lesbian who sleeps her way through the book. Yet another magic lesbian power for Erica. Woot.

Let’s face it – no one in their right mind cares about Najica. It’s so junk that it makes other junk look good. (On the other hand, last night I watched the end of ICE, which was so bad that it made Najica look good, so everything’s relative.)

The plot is thin and silly – Najica and her non-human sidekick Lila are agents for CRI, a top-secret perfume company.

Should I continue?

Okay, then. Together they wear short skirts and fight against corporate espionage, random baddies doing who knows what and occasionally save a small European kingdom along the way.

In one of the chapters, Najica is sent to assasinate a competitor who is flooding the market with cheap off-brand copies of a high-end perfume her company makes. (Noooooo! the wife says) She tracks him to a casino, where’s she’s hit on by some young jerk. The competitor disappears, but Najica finds him trussed up, because he had the young jerk’s parents killed back in the day. Najica sympathizes, but won’t get paid if she doesn’t do the work, so she’s the one who shoots him. As it turns out (I know you’re waiting for it) the jerk is actually a woman. As Najica and Lila drive away, young, female, but no less jerky than before, jerk runs after Najica trying to get her name, her number, her body…bwa-wa-waaaah.

In other news, Najica and Lila have that typical fanboy-Yuri relationship which implies that they might have some feelings for one another if, say, Lila was human. But she isn’t, so any emotions you see are entirely you projecting. Najica is clearly fond of Lila. Any other emotions you see are entirely you projecting.

Ratings:

Art – 6
Story – 2
Characters – 4
Yuri – 3
Service – 8

Overall – 4

It’s crap. It’s not even so bad it’s good. But it’s still better than ICE.