I’ve long held a preference to mouthwash. No, not the electric blue-green swill with flavor names like “arctic” and “alpine”, describing some slightly different formulation of wintergreen. I’m talking about the unadulterated, sickly amber kind simply called “Original.” Unlike its minty counterparts, the Original burns as it works. I liked that about it. It told you not only that it was working, but where it was working. I always found the lack of feedback from the other flavors disorienting, as if I were trying to walk on numbed feet. I feel the same about aftershave, hydrogen peroxide, and so on. Pain exists to direct your attention to places of need.
How Do We Relationship?, Volume 12 brings the pain. A cleansing, healing pain that is much sorely needed.
Last we left our cast, the plot had taken a heavy-handed nosedive into some serious subject matter. Miwa was left broken after a traumatic encounter with Tamaki, while Saeko’s relationship continues to be more and more strained by Yuria’s need for space.
There’s no sense being coy about it: this is the volume where the girls break up. Again. None of this should be a surprise, as we have felt the cracks starting to form two volumes prior, but unlike before, I feel like the pangs of heartache here are growing pains rather than seeping wounds.
I emphasized in my last review how critical I was in how Miwa and Tamaki’s conflict about sex played out. The first few chapters here help add some context to the fallout that I think takes some of the worst sting out of it, but without lightening its impact. For Miwa, she felt shame that her sexual desire was so strong that it overpowered her emotional needs, and that Tamaki felt repulsed by the intensity of that desire.
Miwa breaks up with Tamaki. The decision is a major sign of growth for her; instead of clinging desperately to a flawed relationship like she did in the past, she realizes that despite their mutual love for each other, it would be mentally and emotionally better for her and Tamaki to part ways as lovers (put a pin in that, it will come up again). I think the breakup and their later run-in at the school festival were emotionally impactful, and it left me thinking that both of them will be OK as they move on in their lives.
It does, however, resurface an underlying issue: this is another example of Miwa feeling like she owns all the blame for a failing relationship. At no point does she give Tamaki any ownership in what transpired in their relationship, much like she did with Saeko before. This seems like a character flaw that will continue to not be treated as such. I can accept that even at 21 she is not a fully-formed adult yet, but her martyr complex is a blind spot that is a bit troubling.
As is typical in this medium, we get to see into Tamaki’s backstory for the first time right before the end. I think that the segment was effective in further humanizing her…but it was a struggle for me to want to empathize with her after the last volume. That queasy feeling from chapter 103 is just never going to fully go away, as if it were some kind of trauma (put a pin in that).
I had mentioned in previous reviews that I wish we saw more of Miwa and Tamaki’s happy moments together. The characters clearly express that their love was deep and genuine, but very little of that made it to the page in favor of anxiety and stress—and not even just around the sex. The way they interact here shows me their feelings, but I was not given the opportunity, with a rare exception or two, to feel it for myself.
There is another moment of growth here for Miwa that I found particularly impactful. When Miwa is casually outed at a social gathering for the Light Music Club, she takes the moment in stride and is able to smoothly redirect the conversation away from her queerness being the topic. This inspires a baby gay first-year to approach her after the event and tell her that he admires her strength in “living her truth”. Miwa reflects for a moment before telling him that she falls in love with women who are “bold and cool”, and she looks to their example as her source of strength. It’s a powerful moment of self-reflection that is demonstrative of this series at its best. Watching Miwa mature from the timid girl who couldn’t handle Kan in Volume 2 to now is one of the most satisfying character arcs I’ve witnessed in manga.
Meanwhile, Saeko and Yuria struggle to find a compromise between Saeko’s desire to spend as much time together and Yuria’s emotional need for space. Saeko struggles with not being able to see Yuria when she wants, but when Yuria begins making more time for her, she feels bothered that she’s making a sacrifice. They are coming from too far a distance apart for meeting in the middle to feel good. That’s a big bummer for a couple that we’ve seen work through troubles and arguments before and come out the other side stronger.
I could say a lot more about this, but in the end, they both agree to go back to being friends (at their favorite spot, the playground, of course). Like this series is fond of doing, the breakup doesn’t mean cutting themselves out of each other’s life. I wish they could’ve worked it out, but if they were going to break up, it would be hard to ask for a better way for it to go for them.
I’ve been praising the art for a while now, but this volume has a few standout panels that are some of my favorite drawings of the series so far, along with a beautiful color image for the cover. Abby Lehrke’s localization continues to get top marks from me.
I believe this volume is a return to form from the trajectory it had been taking over the previous two volumes. Both Miwa and Saeko shed their tears, but they leave their relationships stronger and with a hope for the future. There are hints here as to what that future is—and if you are paying attention at all, you know where this is heading—but for now, the slate is clean. It’s a real palette cleanser, the kind for those who prefer to avoid the mint.
Ratings:
Art – 9
Story – 9
Characters – 10
Service – 0
LGBTQ – 10
Overall – 9
The final chapter of the series was uploaded on the VIZ app on February, 28; Volume 13 will hit shelves in September 2025.
Matt Marcus is a cohost of various projects on the Pitch Drop Podcast Network, as well as the writer for the blog Oh My God, They Were Bandmates analyzing How Do We Relationship in greater depth.
