Welcome to Guest Review Wednesday! It’s always such a pleasure to have a Guest Review and even more exciting, today we have a brand new Guest Reviewer. I’d like you to all give a warm welcome to Kristin, who is doing me a huge favor today by taking a look at Assault Lily Bouquet which is streaming on Funimation.com!

Well hello! I don’t think I’ve ever been here before! Years ago I used to be the manga and anime reviewer for ComicAttack.net, but these days I just shit talk on Twitter with my former peers. Anyway, I’m Kristin. You can find those old reviews here. Today I am lending Erica a hand and giving her eyeballs (and blood pressure) a break. She really didn’t need to watch this one.

Assault Lily: Bouquet is a new anime based on a mixed-media franchise, the primary mode being toy figurines. The doll line was created by Azone International and Acus in 2013. A light novel was published by Micro Magazine/GC Novels in 2015, and a manga is currently running in Monthly Bushiroad. Monthly Bushiroad’s parent company, Bushiroad Media, primarily concerns itself with trading card games and associated media. Azone International makes fashion dolls. Now, this mixture of media is very common. I don’t know why the Assault Lily series is particularly popular at present, but then America made a movie about the game Battleship in 2012, so time frames aren’t really an issue. To be honest, the dolls are kind of cute, and the “girls with guns” (or random weapons bigger than they are) genre is perennial. Not my style or interest, personally, but they look well made.

That’s the main thing that can also be said about the anime. It’s well made.

Assault Lily (and in conjunction Assault Lily: Bouquet, of course) tells the story of a group of teenage girls (the show specifically says 16-17) who attend a prestigious academy. Not just any academy, of course, but one that teaches these girls how to fight large, mechanical monsters called Huge. Yes, the Huge are huge. To fight these monsters, the girls sync up with their Charms through a ring they wear. Yes, their Charms are charms. Charms are the weapons the girls use to fight the monsters, and teenage girls have the greatest ability to synchronize with this technology. Hitotsuyanagi Riri is the newest Lily, arriving in episode one at the academy in order to follow her idol, Shirai Yuyu, who saved her from a Huge two years ago. Right away, Riri is thrust into combat as she joins Yuyu and another student, Kaede, in tracking down a Huge that escaped the school’s research facility. Unfortunately, while Riri’s combat experience and ability are fairly suspect, the main problem is that she has not yet synced up with her Charm. This is quickly remedied, and Riri and the snobbish, Yuyu-obsessed Kaede finish the Huge off. Riri saves Kaede from the explosive aftermath, making Kaede abandon Yuyu for her new savior. Since the girls do tend to pair up with combat partners (called “Schutzengel,” or “Guardian Angel”), it seems Riri may be on track to form such a relationship on day one.

Well. There’s a plot there, somewhere. In between all of the zettai ryouiki, the “absolute territory” of thigh skin revealed between a girl’s skirt and (usually over-the-knee, mid-thigh) socks. Because the series pays very close attention to this little patch of skin. You’ll note the, ah, generic lore. Which is probably fine for a collection of dolls, but isn’t very interesting or impacting in an anime series. Nothing is really unique here – girls with guns/large weapons, teenagers fighting monsters, large and nasty robots. There’s hardly anything to talk about. It’s just sort of…dull. There’s a couple quick fight scenes, and they’re pretty, but not much else. Really, the whole show is pretty. SHAFT is the animation studio, and they’ve done some beautiful work in the past. They’re also no stranger to “magical girl” series, which would be the closest genre Assault Lily: Bouquet could fit. Nor are they stranger to overly sexualized teen girls. They’ve even done strong friendships with girls. This, though, is some kind of…light Yuri fan service for middle-aged men. The show airs in a past-midnight time slot on a Thursday night/Friday morning, so it’s certainly not directed at young girls. Which really makes it sort of uncomfortable. There are just so many thigh shots and boob shots, and the uniforms are designed to make this extra effective.

Ratings:

Art – 9, it’s beautiful! SHAFT knows how to animate, no question.

Story – ….4? For the first episode. It’s just so generic, honestly. I’ve seen this many times, even if the technical aspects of the magic and technology are new. Look, it’s based on a toy line. Which is fine, but it’s designed to sell more dolls.

Characters – 6, I suppose. If the designs weren’t so…zettai ryouki focused, they might be cute. There’s also a lot of characters. Maybe too many, as far as who seems to be featured.

Service – Depends on what kind of service you want. Are you really into the thigh skin of 16-year-old girls?

Yuri – It’s a trap. If you’re drawn to the not-so-subtle Yuri undertones, it’s a trap, run away. They’re gonna lean into it for its audience, but I highly doubt it will be worth it unless you’re really into the skin and bouncing boobs of teenage girls.

Overall – Seven highly deliberate shots of the “absolute territory” on teenage girls.

Erica here:  Thank you so much Kristin. I did try, but as you say, it was not good for my blood pressure. In my opinion, Assault Lily Bouquet is a magical girl version of Ikkitousen with about as much respect for its female characters, only starring fetuses in frilly dresses. ^_^ Thank you again and we hope to have you back soon!

Ichika is a normal 2nd-year in middle school, who loves to make desserts, when she becomes a legendary pâtissier/guardian, Pretty Cure, Cure Whip. In the normal way of such things, Ichika gathers around her a number of other teammates and friends, science-minded Himari, rock singer Aoi, older girls cool, boyish Akira and stylish Yukari and, eventually a famous pâtissier from France, Ciel…and that’s not all, in KIRA KIRA☆Pretty Cure A la Mode, now streaming on Crunchyroll.

It’s my habit of many years to at least give the first few episodes of every PreCure series a watch. That’s fallen by the wayside in recent years, so KIRA KIRA☆PreCure is the last one I actually gave a few weeks to. I liked it well enough and was very pleased when Crunchyroll picked this series up. I’m still hoping we get Heartcatch, as so far, I consider it the best season to date. But Kira Kira is pretty solid.

This time the PreCure fight Noir-sama who steals the color and sparkle – the “kira kira” of the title – from sweets. As legendary pâtissiers, it is PreCure’s job to protect sweets from losing their kira kira and making sure everyone in the world gets to be happy through sweets. The co-branding possibilities with candy and pastries are endless and I’m sure dentists were happy, too.

There are a few narrative beats here that were actually interesting. Our first nemesis is Rio, a boy who obviously knows a lot about sweets, but won’t cook. His true identity was kind of fun and it set the tone for the various redemptions, back-stabbing, evolutions and other crisscrossing of the characters’ various stories. I also quite like evil little Bibli. I won’t spoil, because frankly, it’s a cartoon for little children with a good 10 minutes of repeated footage for every 20-minute episode and there’s little else to draw your attention, so you might as well wait for it. ^_^ This season the PreCure are both sweets and animal related, so you’re gonna have plenty of time to get up and get a drink while they transform, especially towards the end. ^_^

One other draw is the aforementioned cool, boyish Akira and stylish and elegant Yukari who make a nice couple. I think it goes a little far to say they are an established couple, but as far as they can carry that without overt expressions of mutual love, they get pretty far. Akira does have the chance to tell Yukari she likes her and they are partnered in attacks and other ways that makes it plain to those who want to see what they see.

Most telling to me is that Akira’s transformation to Cure Chocolat places her clearly on Takarazuka-like stairs as an otokoyaku. Later she will be Prince to Yukari’s Queen at the school festival. There are any number of moments when their voice actresses play the roles like its an obvious pairing. Akira’s voice actress, Mori Nanako played coffee-shop owner and adult lesbian in a stable relationship, Miyako in Bloom Into You, and Yukari’s VA, Fujita Saki has graced such Yuri anime as Sakura Trick and Yuri Yuri, and she’s Attack on Titan‘s Ymir, so we have solid Yuri cred from both, as well.

As PreCure goes, the music was not bad, although so far nothing has touched the end theme to Heartcatch PreCure in my completely biased opinion.

A pretty solid, if super sweet, season of PreCure.

Ratings:

Art – 6 Coloful, rather than good, but totally acceptable
Story – 6 It had some elements of interest.
Characters – 8
Service – well, I guess constant shots of potential toys are a kind of corporate service
Yuri – Hrmmm, well give Akira and Yukari a 7. You can see if you want to, and also kind of ignore it if you don’t

Overall – 7

Kudos to the translator who nailed Jaba’s “Nan ja to?” by translating it as “What the ja?” Outstanding.